My place. :)

[Jesusfreak]

So, Phil seems to have been acting kinda distant lately, and I don't know what's up with that. He insists that everything is fine, but he's just not acting like it's fine. I told him I'm worried, and he says I have nothing to worry about, and that anything that's bothering him he'll just sort out on his own. That's all well and good, but I still worry about him and want to know what's bothering him. I wanted to talk to him about this, but apparently his grandfather cut the internet and said he needed to go to bed (usually his curfew is 11, and he doesn't have work until 12 tomorrow). So, I'm a bit concerned that he's not talking to me about things, whatever they are. We were both on maplestory for most of the day, and didn't have a chance to really talk because he was training, and in a bad mood. He also hasn't been on aim much. So, I dunno what's up with all of this, but I hope I can get him to talk to me more. Communication is important. :closedeyes:

Yes, communication is important, but there are times when someone just has to sort things out in their own head. Give him time. If you push, it may only keep him from talking. So, just treat Phil like nothing is wrong and don't worry about him not telling you everything. It will happen, he just needs to know you are there with him and you can give him the support he needs without him spilling his guts.

Well the problem isn't so much him not telling me everything as that he acts differently when he's preoccupied with something, and then insists that nothing is wrong, when something clearly is. And naturally, since I see the effects of his being bothered by something in the form of him being super quiet and sounding annoyed with me, I start to worry that it has something to do with me, and I worry that something is upsetting him, because I don't like seeing him upset whether it's my fault or not. So, I'd be okay even if he just told me a general thing about what's bothering him and saying he doesn't want to talk about it. That would be fine. But knowing nothing at all scares me for some reason. Also, when he gets like this, the way he acts towards me makes me question how he feels about me, since he tends to act like he's annoyed with me when he's upset over something. Like, I asked when I get to see him again, and he said, "idk, I have work late for the next four days or more, and I have to eat dinner." Now, I hang out with him after dinner with no problems, so statements like this make it sound like he doesn't care about seeing me, which is really discouraging. Now, he was acting like this around finals, so I dismissed it as finals stress, but now he's home, and I have no idea what's causing this.

My guess is that Phil is back home under his grandparents roof and their rules. This has to be extremely stressful. He has lived at college with his own rules as to when he will be on the computer, when he can come and go and now he is back home being treated like a kid. This must be hard for him. Please believe in yourself that the relationship you both have is a good one. Please give him time. It is not you.

I got to see him today when I went grocery shopping, which was good. I know our relationship is good, but it bothers me how little we've been talking lately. Unfortunately, I was unable to talk to him about that today. >_<

It was good that you were unable to discuss what was on your mind. Work is never a good place for that.

ohgosh I'd never bring something like that up while he's at work. I wanted to talk to him online about it lol.

[Horatio]

So, Phil seems to have been acting kinda distant lately, and I don't know what's up with that. He insists that everything is fine, but he's just not acting like it's fine. I told him I'm worried, and he says I have nothing to worry about, and that anything that's bothering him he'll just sort out on his own. That's all well and good, but I still worry about him and want to know what's bothering him. I wanted to talk to him about this, but apparently his grandfather cut the internet and said he needed to go to bed (usually his curfew is 11, and he doesn't have work until 12 tomorrow). So, I'm a bit concerned that he's not talking to me about things, whatever they are. We were both on maplestory for most of the day, and didn't have a chance to really talk because he was training, and in a bad mood. He also hasn't been on aim much. So, I dunno what's up with all of this, but I hope I can get him to talk to me more. Communication is important. :closedeyes:

Yes, communication is important, but there are times when someone just has to sort things out in their own head. Give him time. If you push, it may only keep him from talking. So, just treat Phil like nothing is wrong and don't worry about him not telling you everything. It will happen, he just needs to know you are there with him and you can give him the support he needs without him spilling his guts.

Well the problem isn't so much him not telling me everything as that he acts differently when he's preoccupied with something, and then insists that nothing is wrong, when something clearly is. And naturally, since I see the effects of his being bothered by something in the form of him being super quiet and sounding annoyed with me, I start to worry that it has something to do with me, and I worry that something is upsetting him, because I don't like seeing him upset whether it's my fault or not. So, I'd be okay even if he just told me a general thing about what's bothering him and saying he doesn't want to talk about it. That would be fine. But knowing nothing at all scares me for some reason. Also, when he gets like this, the way he acts towards me makes me question how he feels about me, since he tends to act like he's annoyed with me when he's upset over something. Like, I asked when I get to see him again, and he said, "idk, I have work late for the next four days or more, and I have to eat dinner." Now, I hang out with him after dinner with no problems, so statements like this make it sound like he doesn't care about seeing me, which is really discouraging. Now, he was acting like this around finals, so I dismissed it as finals stress, but now he's home, and I have no idea what's causing this.

My guess is that Phil is back home under his grandparents roof and their rules. This has to be extremely stressful. He has lived at college with his own rules as to when he will be on the computer, when he can come and go and now he is back home being treated like a kid. This must be hard for him. Please believe in yourself that the relationship you both have is a good one. Please give him time. It is not you.

I got to see him today when I went grocery shopping, which was good. I know our relationship is good, but it bothers me how little we've been talking lately. Unfortunately, I was unable to talk to him about that today. >_

It was good that you were unable to discuss what was on your mind. Work is never a good place for that.

ohgosh I'd never bring something like that up while he's at work. I wanted to talk to him online about it lol.

My apologies for reading too fast. I thought you were going to talk to him at the grocery store.

If you don't mind a suggestion... why don't you let the talk go for a couple days. Let him sort things out for himself. I think you will find he will come around.

[Jesusfreak]

Hokay, two big things lol.

 

Yesterday was my first day of work! I was there for about 7 hours, which was exhausting, but it's a fun place to work, and my boss already likes me. My coworkers all seem friendly and were willing to answer questions I had (like what goes into what blizzard or sundae or whatever, since there are like eighty thousand possibilities).

 

Today I finally managed to talk to Phil, since the lack of communication and affection was driving me insane, to the point of tears, and "I'm just tired, and I don't talk when I'm tired," didn't seem to fit quite right. I made sure to explain to him that I still love him and don't want to break up with him, and that the lack of communication was getting to me and making me worry. I started the conversation off by telling him I wanted to know what I am to him and what I mean to him, to which he responded (after a very long pause) that I'm the only person outside of his family that he can depend on, and that I mean a lot to him. That seems fair enough to me. So I went on to further explain exactly why the not talking was upsetting me, and he seems to understand. It seems that the problem isn't just that he's tired, but rather that he's trying to sort out some problems from his past, and when he's tired he tends to dwell on them and not want to talk. He also explained that this is something he wants to take care of all on his own, with no help from anyone, including myself. He recognized that it's not okay that he's been so antisocial towards me, but that he is trying, and that he's still learning how to be affectionate and communicate and all that. I made sure to tell him that I'm here for him no matter what, whether he wants to talk about his problems or not, and that I won't think any less of him for seeking help with his problems. I can understand and respect all that. I explained to Phil that knowing more makes me worry less, so while he doesn't want to talk about the problems on his mind, he agreed to try to tell me when he's antisocial because he's dwelling on them, so I would at least know *why* he's so quiet and so I won't worry about it (because I worry that it's related to his feelings towards me, which isn't the case).

 

So, this is going to be a bit of a challenge, but at least I have some answers. I'm the type of person that wants to help as much as possible, especially when it comes to Phil because I care about him so much, and hate seeing him distressed by anything, and there's nothing I can do for him since he wants to deal with it himself. Not knowing, and not being able to do anything is hard for me. Phil says he's always had a hard time sharing and communicating with people, so it's hard for him too. So, it's going to be tough, but at least now we understand each other a little bit better.

[Horatio]

So, this is going to be a bit of a challenge, but at least I have some answers. I'm the type of person that wants to help as much as possible, especially when it comes to Phil because I care about him so much, and hate seeing him distressed by anything, and there's nothing I can do for him since he wants to deal with it himself. Not knowing, and not being able to do anything is hard for me. Phil says he's always had a hard time sharing and communicating with people, so it's hard for him too. So, it's going to be tough, but at least now we understand each other a little bit better.

Work sounds like it will be a good summer for you with a great group of people. Wonderful! You are off to a great start.

 

As for Phil, I am glad that you have gotten to a point where you realize it is not you. It is understandable that you want to help as much as possible as you both have a great relationship. Knowing this, hopefully you can get through Phil not being as open as you would like. This is the hardest part, but I am certain you will be able to focus on the future and this tough period will be over soon.

 

As you know, we are here for you.

[Jesusfreak]

Well, I logically knew that it wasn't me, because I couldn't think of anything I was doing wrong, and he kept insisting that it's nothing I was doing wrong. But being that I was the one that felt ignored, it *felt* like I was doing something wrong. And the thing is; Phil doesn't *want* to be open about this. He's dead set on taking care of it himself, whatever that entails. I'm not going to pressure him to open up and tell me exactly what's on his mind, because I think that will just frustrate him more. So like I said, I did tell him that if he changes his mind, he can always talk to me about it, and that I'm here for him no matter what. Also, I don't think that his problems are something that will be over "soon," as he's been trying to work through this himself for years, and refuses to let anyone try to help. It just seems that lately the conditions that trigger his high level of dwelling on problems have been coming up more than usual. I'm not sure why he wants to get through this on his own, so I just chalk it up to typical male stubbornness, even though by most counts he's not a typical male. So, whatever his choices end up being on this matter, I'll support him through it, even if it just means giving him lots of space to think as he needs it.

[Horatio]

You sound like you have this totally figured out and are doing what is best. I believe you are very smart in how you are handling this.

Hopefully Phil gets things straightened out somewhat so that he can get back to enjoying his summer.

[Jesusfreak]

You sound like you have this totally figured out and are doing what is best. I believe you are very smart in how you are handling this.

Hopefully Phil gets things straightened out somewhat so that he can get back to enjoying his summer.

Yeah. I was talking to mom about it (I said I wanted to see Phil maybe sometime tomorrow, and she questioned whether it was me wanting to see him or the other way around, and it went from there), and she started going on about how she thinks that Phil might be gay, and that that's what he's been dwelling on. I am certain that this is not the case, but she wouldn't drop the subject until I told her that, "Sometimes when he hugs me, that's not his cell phone in his pocket." I mean, I can see where she gets it from; Phil can be very feminine, and a number of people have mistaken him for gay, but I know that he finds me to be attractive. I suppose it's possible that he's bi, but he's certainly not completely gay. Mom was at lest happy to see that I took steps to investigate and solve the problem of his quietness though.

 

Today I told Phil that I'm going to leave when we spend time together up to him. Lately, every time I ask when I get to see him, he doesn't have a distinct answer, citing things like his grandmother's plans and his great grandmother being in the hospital. So, since his schedule is much more difficult than mine, I decided to just have him suggest times and places to hang out, since he has a better idea of when we can hang out than I do. Today he's been much more talkative and happy sounding, and said he'd talk to his gram to see if I can come over to visit before work tomorrow. So, I can see that things already seem to be improving.

[Horatio]

There are some men you are sensitive, emotional and have less of the "manly-man" aura, and they are truly a guy that is solely interested in women. I think that Phil is a guy who has these wonderful qualities. The drawback is that you have to work through his emotional side and that is hard. It is really great when a guy shows that he has a sensitive side. For me, this is much better than being a macho-man who hides his feelings.

 

You are taking the right course of action. I believe that Phil loves you but he must have some pressures from his grandparents and other life's problems that he is working through. You are a fantastic girlfriend for Phil. Hang in there, I do believe Phil is worth it.

[Jesse]

I feel for you. I mean I don't have a boyfriend but it's still tough whenever you have to watch a friend go through distress and you don't even know what it is, and I've been in that situation many times this past semester. It almost makes it more stressful than if you knew, because they're engulfed in some sort of great unknown...

 

I think it's kind of random that your mom would claim your boyfriend might be homosexual. From what I've read I had no doubts that he loves you. Like raishy said, a guy's sensitivity is not really linked to his sexuality (there are just trends, that have become stereotypes). And if he's bi, that shouldn't change anything. Actually it means you've been picked from an even larger sea of fish.

[Horatio]

Actually it means you've been picked from an even larger sea of fish.

What a perfect point!!!

[Jesusfreak]

I can see where mom got it from. It's little to do with how he treats me, but more the fact that at lot of his traits are stereotypical of gay men. That doesn't really bother me. I have many masculine traits, so we balance each other out. As for him being bi, I've already settled in my mind that I don't care if he's bi. It would mean more competition, sure, but like you said, I'm the one he picked already.

 

That said, my visit with Phil today was nice. We just played video games with his sister, but it was still wonderful to see him again, and he was acting perfectly normal again, which was reassuring. I plan to visit him at the grocery store tomorrow. Gotta remember to get windshield washer fluid.....

 

And work today was good too. So far I like working at DQ; it's a lot of fun.

[Horatio]

I plan to visit him at the grocery store tomorrow. Gotta remember to get windshield washer fluid.....

Windshield washer fluid... at the grocery store?????

My, my, my... you will do anything to go to the grocery store.

[Jesusfreak]

I plan to visit him at the grocery store tomorrow. Gotta remember to get windshield washer fluid.....

Windshield washer fluid... at the grocery store?????

My, my, my... you will do anything to go to the grocery store.

Well, we do need a few other things too. If the grocery store doesn't have it, there is an auto parts store next door I can get it from.

[Horatio]

I plan to visit him at the grocery store tomorrow. Gotta remember to get windshield washer fluid.....

Windshield washer fluid... at the grocery store?????

My, my, my... you will do anything to go to the grocery store.

Well, we do need a few other things too. If the grocery store doesn't have it, there is an auto parts store next door I can get it from.

LOL.

[The Biggest Fan Of Fuzzy]

I despise when people judge a person's sexuality based on their looks, dress, voice, mannerisms, etc. I mean, sometimes you can automatically tell, you just get that sixth sense, but most of the time, you can't really tell and it's horrible to judge. I've been called gay because I wear skinny jeans and designer clothes. Are you kiddddddding me? Skinny jeans make me gay? Some people are so ignorant.

 

Not that I'm calling your mother ignorant, but I felt the need to rant on that topic.

[Jesusfreak]

I despise when people judge a person's sexuality based on their looks, dress, voice, mannerisms, etc. I mean, sometimes you can automatically tell, you just get that sixth sense, but most of the time, you can't really tell and it's horrible to judge. I've been called gay because I wear skinny jeans and designer clothes. Are you kiddddddding me? Skinny jeans make me gay? Some people are so ignorant.

 

Not that I'm calling your mother ignorant, but I felt the need to rant on that topic.

lol, this is why I assume everyone is bi until I'm told otherwise. That way I can't be completely wrong either way.

[LifesEagle]

Being bi is something I know a bit about, hence why I'm jumping in here. Good luck with Phil, JF: maybe he still needs some time to wind down before he starts opening up like normal again. Maybe he just needs space. Does he have any friends that may know what's on his mind?

[Jesusfreak]

Being bi is something I know a bit about, hence why I'm jumping in here. Good luck with Phil, JF: maybe he still needs some time to wind down before he starts opening up like normal again. Maybe he just needs space. Does he have any friends that may know what's on his mind?

That seems to have been the case, as he's been acting more like his usual self lately. I'm guessing he just goes through occasional phases. I don't think he talks to any of his friends about his issues. He *might* talk to his sisters about them, because I *think* that what's on his mind is family related, from what little I know about that. I can't imagine anything else that would trouble him so much. However, I think if/when he talks to them, it's purely informational, or only therapeutic for their sakes. He was quite adamant when he talked to me about wanting to sort it out himself, with no help from *anyone*. My first reaction was to feel hurt that he didn't want my help, but that's not what he was trying to say exactly, because he didn't want anyone's help, and wanted to do it himself. Just the same as when I'm carrying something heavy and turn down offers to have someone else carry it. Either way, now that I know that there's an issue he's trying to sort out, I've been praying for him about it, that he'll be able to sort it out and reach a good conclusion with it all.

 

And random and totally unrelated idea: Watching your language in the workplace! DQ edition:

Oh, fudge!

Oh, shakes! or Oh sprinkles!

What the heath?

For the love of all that is tasty!

What a banana split!

He's a pain in the arctic rush.

 

I've already been at work for too long....

[LifesEagle]

Being bi is something I know a bit about, hence why I'm jumping in here. Good luck with Phil, JF: maybe he still needs some time to wind down before he starts opening up like normal again. Maybe he just needs space. Does he have any friends that may know what's on his mind?

That seems to have been the case, as he's been acting more like his usual self lately. I'm guessing he just goes through occasional phases. I don't think he talks to any of his friends about his issues. He *might* talk to his sisters about them, because I *think* that what's on his mind is family related, from what little I know about that. I can't imagine anything else that would trouble him so much. However, I think if/when he talks to them, it's purely informational, or only therapeutic for their sakes. He was quite adamant when he talked to me about wanting to sort it out himself, with no help from *anyone*. My first reaction was to feel hurt that he didn't want my help, but that's not what he was trying to say exactly, because he didn't want anyone's help, and wanted to do it himself. Just the same as when I'm carrying something heavy and turn down offers to have someone else carry it. Either way, now that I know that there's an issue he's trying to sort out, I've been praying for him about it, that he'll be able to sort it out and reach a good conclusion with it all.

 

And random and totally unrelated idea: Watching your language in the workplace! DQ edition:

Oh, fudge!

Oh, shakes! or Oh sprinkles!

What the heath?

For the love of all that is tasty!

What a banana split!

He's a pain in the arctic rush.

 

I've already been at work for too long....

Maybe a small period of quiet contemplation would be good for you both, seeing as Phil has things to sort out and you have a new job to get used to. Give it a week or two. You may soon be wondering what you ever worried about.

 

Haha, euphamisms are fun! I like "For the love of all that is tasty!" implying that what you sell IS tasty.

[Jesusfreak]

Being bi is something I know a bit about, hence why I'm jumping in here. Good luck with Phil, JF: maybe he still needs some time to wind down before he starts opening up like normal again. Maybe he just needs space. Does he have any friends that may know what's on his mind?

That seems to have been the case, as he's been acting more like his usual self lately. I'm guessing he just goes through occasional phases. I don't think he talks to any of his friends about his issues. He *might* talk to his sisters about them, because I *think* that what's on his mind is family related, from what little I know about that. I can't imagine anything else that would trouble him so much. However, I think if/when he talks to them, it's purely informational, or only therapeutic for their sakes. He was quite adamant when he talked to me about wanting to sort it out himself, with no help from *anyone*. My first reaction was to feel hurt that he didn't want my help, but that's not what he was trying to say exactly, because he didn't want anyone's help, and wanted to do it himself. Just the same as when I'm carrying something heavy and turn down offers to have someone else carry it. Either way, now that I know that there's an issue he's trying to sort out, I've been praying for him about it, that he'll be able to sort it out and reach a good conclusion with it all.

 

And random and totally unrelated idea: Watching your language in the workplace! DQ edition:

Oh, fudge!

Oh, shakes! or Oh sprinkles!

What the heath?

For the love of all that is tasty!

What a banana split!

He's a pain in the arctic rush.

 

I've already been at work for too long....

Maybe a small period of quiet contemplation would be good for you both, seeing as Phil has things to sort out and you have a new job to get used to. Give it a week or two. You may soon be wondering what you ever worried about.

 

Haha, euphamisms are fun! I like "For the love of all that is tasty!" implying that what you sell IS tasty.

Well, the things Phil has to sort out, if my assumptions are correct, stem from his childhood and are things he's been struggling with for years, so I expect this to be an ongoing thing. And as far as I know, our food is tasty. I've only been there three times and I've seen some of the customers more than once.

[Jesusfreak]

Blehhh I feel like crud. I have some sort of sinus infection thing, and it's not fun. It started with just a sore throat, which killed my voice so I couldn't go to work the day before yesterday. Yesterday I got out of work because one of the managers called and said to not come in since business was too slow to warrant having another person there. I'm scheduled for work today, so we'll see how I'm feeling. I plan to go out in a bit to pick up some soup and vitamin C supplements [and to see Phil].

[Horatio]

Blehhh I feel like crud. I have some sort of sinus infection thing, and it's not fun. It started with just a sore throat, which killed my voice so I couldn't go to work the day before yesterday. Yesterday I got out of work because one of the managers called and said to not come in since business was too slow to warrant having another person there. I'm scheduled for work today, so we'll see how I'm feeling. I plan to go out in a bit to pick up some soup and vitamin C supplements [and to see Phil].

*FedExes over some chicken noodle soup, flowers and a get well card*

Hope you are feeling better today. At least seeing Phil will brighten your day.

[Jesusfreak]

9am staff meeting, after working until 12:30am.....not....cool.......

[Horatio]

9am staff meeting, after working until 12:30am.....not....cool.......

Now that a couple weeks have passed...

 

how is it going?

 

How is Phil?

 

How is life?

 

How is... ?

[Jesusfreak]

Okay, got a job at True Value, which is going well.

 

Things with Phil are *not* going well. It's kind of a long story and I don't even know all of it, but we'll see what happens. I'm in a horrible mood right now and probably will be until this whole thing gets resolved, so it might be awhile before I come back with a more detailed post. :closedeyes:

[Horatio]

Okay, got a job at True Value, which is going well.

 

Things with Phil are *not* going well. It's kind of a long story and I don't even know all of it, but we'll see what happens. I'm in a horrible mood right now and probably will be until this whole thing gets resolved, so it might be awhile before I come back with a more detailed post. :closedeyes:

*gives Jesusfreak a really, really big hug*

 

We will be here when you are ready.

Our hearts are with your heart.

 

Good luck at True Value.

[LifesEagle]

I'm sorry things aren't great with Phil. I really hope things get better soon.

 

I never mentioned how cute those frog photos were, by the way. Adorable little thing!

[Jesusfreak]

Okay, we'll see how much of this I can write down before I have to go to work. Phil and I have been problems with communication, spending time together, and even him showing me he loves me. His excuse is that he just can't do these things when he's tired, and that he's been tired all the time because he's been working so much, which he's been doing to eliminate as much debt as possible. So, what it comes down to, is that it seems like a slightly lower debt in the future is more important to him than I am, because right now, I'm running on *nothing* and don't know why he seems to think that will work. There was a whole series of events that lead up to this (including him not talking to me for a full 24 hours, which turned out to be unrelated to me), but at the end of the night last night I told him that it seems to me he just doesn't have time for a girlfriend right now, so he can either break up, take a break, or make time for me. He started to say that he's tried things like energy drinks to make himself less tired, but I cut him off saying I'd let him think about it since I needed to go to bed. So, now we'll see what he does with that, but I'm not terribly optimistic. It's really sad that it has to come down to this; I don't ask for much. I should never have to question if he loves me, I should never have to address the same problems more than once, I should never go more than a week without seeing him when we live so close together. I know he can do better, and if not, then I can.

[LifesEagle]

Oh JF, I'm so sorry that things aren't going so well. I've had problems with incredibly important people in my life who don't seem to make time for me and it's really frustrating when that happens. You were right to tell him outright how you felt. The three things you said you have problems with are the cornerstones of a successful relationship so it's no wonder that you're upset. I don't think you need to "do better"; if you DID need to try more then you would have given up on him already. The fact that you're still persuing this shows how much the relationship means to you and how much Phil means to you: maybe he'll realise that soon. You're already understanding of his predicament, but he can't have his cake and eat it.

 

Stay strong, things will work out.

[Jesusfreak]

Oh, by "I can do better" I mean I can find someone who cares about me more and treats me better. He says he trusts me and loves me and cares about me, but he's not backing up his words with actions at all. There's also some obvious priority differences between us. I took a slightly lower paying job at true value in part so my working hours would match his better, but to him, having a slightly lower college loan debt to pay off seems to be more important than keeping me around. He's so paranoid about being able to pay off his loans. If he really trusted me, he would trust me that we'd be able to make a way no matter what. A thousand dollars more to pay on a college loan is just a couple months of one bill, it's not that huge of a deal. Losing his relationship with me forever should be a huge deal. But then again, if this is his thinking, I should probably have broken up with him already anyways. But, I am going to give him the choice. I may not be able to find someone that I am quite so compatible with in terms of interests and such, but I know I'll find someone who will treat me better and make time for me. I don't like giving up on things, but I have my own future to keep in mind, and I don't think I want it to be with someone who is constantly "too tired" to see me, or talk to me, or even to show me he loves me.

[LifesEagle]

The thought that comes to mind is that he's just trying to get rid of the "unimportant stuff" first, i.e. he wants to get rid of his debts before concentrating on you cimply because he wants you to have his full attention. What made me think this is when you mentioned that you thought he was asking your parents permisison to propse. It just seems odd because if he was doing this then surely he would have told you? Unless he has a surprise for you, which is another possibility, but I don't see why he would jeopardise your relationship so just for these reasons. It's early in the summer yet: maybe in a few weeks his mood will change.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope your new job is enjoyable. I'm sure he'll see the sacrifices you've made for him and he'll understand. He'd be very silly not to.

[Horatio]

Financial matters, the thought of owing are overwhelming to some people. If Phil is planning on setting married with you, debt is something that he does not want to include in the start of your future. A ring is expensive and to add this to the thought of college debts, I think I would give him a little room. I do understand that not being around him, not communicating and always being tired, are taking a toll on your relationship, but if he is getting rid of his debt prior to a long time commitment with you, this is something to be admired. It is much easier to eliminate debt when you are living home than with your spouse.

 

You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers to resolve this matter as quickly as possible although I think it will just take a little more time than you would care for.

[Jesusfreak]

No, he has some irrational money related fears, which he's getting hung up on. We decided today that we are going to take a break from the relationship because it's just not feasible right now with the way he is and the things I expect from him. So for now we're friends, with no romantic attachments or expectations, though we agreed that we won't be actively looking for a relationship with other people (not that we would anyways, given his situation and what it takes for me to fall for someone). We also agreed that if for some reason one of us was to become interested in a relationship with someone else, we tell the other person immediately to make it a permanent break. And being friends is okay with me. I'm going to miss kissing him and telling him I love him and such, but I'm still there for him no matter what, and that's really the important part. I think also now that we're just friends, it will allow us to get back closer together as people without having to worry about relationship expectations. So, I think that this is a good choice for us, and hope that someday he'll be able to resolve things in such a way that we can get back together again on a romantic level. So in this way, I haven't lost him, but I'm not tied down by him either.

[Horatio]

You sound like you have come to a very good decision. I applaud you for your efforts and consideration in the relationship and your future. You always make the best decisions and this one sounds like a great plan.

 

Do believe things will work out for the best.

[Jesusfreak]

Yeah, and the crazy thing is, we've been communicating more the past couple days now that we're on a break. While I think he's sad that I'm not his girlfriend at the moment, he's quite a bit less stressed about me being unhappy with the relationship, which is making talking easier. So, so far, this seems to have been a good move. And I also think it was good to let Phil have his choice of what to do, and I know he appreciates that I didn't just break up with him, though pretty much any other girl would have. I think that if/when we get back together, I'm going to specify that our relationship should be a friends first relationship. Meaning that above all else, we are best friends. Romantic expectations, though important in a romantic relationship, should come second to best friend expectations. I think in our relationship, we were both worrying too much about the romantic expectations and less about the friend ones. I dunno if that makes any sense to anyone else though lol. And thinking about it now, it's the best friends part of things that makes a couple stick together no matter what, not the romantic love side of things.

[Horatio]

You are spot on. I understand one million percent. Friendship as the foundation of a relationship can weather almost any storm, whereas a relationship based on lust cannot.

[Jesusfreak]

I got a new laptop today! *paycheck magically vanishes* I'm working on making the backup disks now (using my old computer at the moment). It's nothing super spectacular, but it's better than what I've got so I'm excited.

[Jesusfreak]

So much file moving. @_@

[Jesse]

How much data are we talking here?

[Jesusfreak]

How much data are we talking here?

63GB of music alone, and another 10+ of pictures, then 9ish of Sims 2 files back to the old laptop's hard drive from the external hard drive. And some other assorted documents.

[Horatio]

How much data are we talking here?

63GB of music alone, and another 10+ of pictures, then 9ish of Sims 2 files back to the old laptop's hard drive from the external hard drive. And some other assorted documents.

[Jesse]

I don't want to be the one to start the whole tumbleweed/snowblower ordeal. How's the file moving going?

[Jesusfreak]

I don't want to be the one to start the whole tumbleweed/snowblower ordeal. How's the file moving going?

lol It's done until I realize I forgot something. Presently occupying my mind (aside from the content of my recently posted poem) is the crystal clear starry sky and lightning bugs outside. So pretty.....

[The Biggest Fan Of Fuzzy]

This is directed mainly towards JF and Jesse, since you're both from my general area.

 

Both of you have obviously done the whole college process, so I just have a few questions.

 

The main one is, are there any colleges in the north east that you looked at that you would recommend I look at?

I'm so far behind, and haven't looked at anything yet. I know I definitely want to look at Fordham, Northeastern, and NYU.

I'm aiming for a big city school, but if there are any that you especially liked then lemme know!

 

Also, a lot of us always say we want to get as far away from home as possible when we go away to school. In reality I know that would be a bad thing to do. How far, approximately, are you from home and do you feel that is a comfortable distance? Would you have preferred to be closer, farther, or fine where you are.

 

 

I know you can't say what school you go/went to... but what really attracted you to your school, without being too specific? Was there something that really stood out, such as an activity, the location, the atmosphere, etc, and was that really that important as time went on?

 

 

Thankkkk you

[Jesusfreak]

I think we're allowed to say colleges, but that's not too important. So, let's see, what was covered here:

 

Cities: Boston is a nice big city with lots of colleges, it might be a place to start. And then there are colleges like UConn, which *is* a city.

 

Distance: I personally suggest living far enough away to have to be in a dorm and your parents won't visit all the time, but close enough that you can get home in an emergency. So say, 2-6 hours away is good. I'm about 3.5 hours from home depending on traffic. The point of this is to be living on your own without your family hovering over your every move, and having to do things on your own. It's a nice dose of freedom.

 

What I Looked For: First in importance was a college that had the program of study I wanted, which at the time was Physics and Secondary Education double major. I kept size in mind as well. I wanted a middle sized college, about 3000-6000ish people. Not so small that *everyone* knew who I was, but not so huge that I'd be completely anonymous. My school I think is about 3500 undergrads, and it's comfortable. I see at least one person I know anywhere I go, there's lots of different types of people, and class sizes aren't usually much over 40. Small class sizes are great if you're serious in your studies. Your teacher will know who you are, and I think you learn more that way since there's more interaction, and you can get personalized attention when you need it. However, this makes slacking off and skipping class harder. Most of my classes take attendance, and drop your grade if you miss too many classes. Phil, however, goes to a large college (over 10,000 people), and if the professors know who he is, they don't generally take attendance. I looked into living arrangements as well. Pretty much every college has the standard double room dorms (two people living in one room, multiple rooms in hallways, communal bathrooms). This is your best choice for your first year. You get stuck with a person for better or for worse, but it's just one person, and the arrangements sort of force you to go meet people. Living in a suite type thing with people you don't know was a bad experience for me. Instead of one obnoxious roomie, I had four. Having my own bathroom and air conditioning wasn't worth that. Food is also important. As far as dining hall's go, my school's isn't too bad. There's only one though. Phil's school, being huge, has several dining halls, and the ones I've been in aren't bad. Some dining halls are notably bad though. Check into the meal plan options. If the dining hall food is bad or you don't have a meal plan that gives you 14+ meals a week, look into where you can cook on campus, cost of groceries, etc. Starving makes studying hard. The type of people at your school is important too, if you're going with a somewhat smaller school. At a huge school it doesn't matter, since there are so many people, there's bound to be a little of everyone. Smaller schools might have more uniform populations though. My sister was at Farleigh Dickinson and didn't like how most of the school was stuck up rich snobs. Also look at the condition of the school. Are the buildings in good repair, furniture intact and clean? Things like that say a lot about the staff and students of a school.

[Jesusfreak]

So, I decided to take a break from maplestory, for at least a week, probably longer. It's an experiment of sorts. I've noticed that being on maplestory tends to get me into a bad mood (usually due to Phil being distant), and it takes up WAY more time than it should. So, I'm hoping this break will free me up to go do other more healthy and productive things with my time, and improve my mood a bit. It's also an experiment to see what Phil does. Maple has been our only form of communication outside random meetings at the grocery store, so if he wants to stay in touch, he's going to have to make some effort by reinstalling AIM, contacting me through facebook, texting, or, you know, *doing* something. I didn't talk to him about it directly, just posted a bulletin in our guild that I'm taking a break and how to contact me. I didn't even mention it to him when I saw him at the store today. He should be finding out about it soon if he hasn't already, so it will be interesting to see what happens. It's scary too though, since this is likely to sort of make or break things with us. So, it will be interesting to see what happens, and here's hoping for the best.

[Horatio]

This is directed mainly towards JF and Jesse, since you're both from my general area.

 

Both of you have obviously done the whole college process, so I just have a few questions.

 

The main one is, are there any colleges in the north east that you looked at that you would recommend I look at?

I'm so far behind, and haven't looked at anything yet. I know I definitely want to look at Fordham, Northeastern, and NYU.

I'm aiming for a big city school, but if there are any that you especially liked then lemme know!

 

Also, a lot of us always say we want to get as far away from home as possible when we go away to school. In reality I know that would be a bad thing to do. How far, approximately, are you from home and do you feel that is a comfortable distance? Would you have preferred to be closer, farther, or fine where you are.

 

 

I know you can't say what school you go/went to... but what really attracted you to your school, without being too specific? Was there something that really stood out, such as an activity, the location, the atmosphere, etc, and was that really that important as time went on?

 

 

Thankkkk you

Schools are okay to mention as you are over 18.

 

You might consider looking at Wagner College on Staten Island. Far enough away to be "away" and close enough that you can get home if you need to. Check out the courses that are offered. This might be a school that you like.

[Horatio]

I think we're allowed to say colleges, but that's not too important. So, let's see, what was covered here:

 

Cities: Boston is a nice big city with lots of colleges, it might be a place to start. And then there are colleges like UConn, which *is* a city.

 

Distance: I personally suggest living far enough away to have to be in a dorm and your parents won't visit all the time, but close enough that you can get home in an emergency. So say, 2-6 hours away is good. I'm about 3.5 hours from home depending on traffic. The point of this is to be living on your own without your family hovering over your every move, and having to do things on your own. It's a nice dose of freedom.

 

What I Looked For: First in importance was a college that had the program of study I wanted, which at the time was Physics and Secondary Education double major. I kept size in mind as well. I wanted a middle sized college, about 3000-6000ish people. Not so small that *everyone* knew who I was, but not so huge that I'd be completely anonymous. My school I think is about 3500 undergrads, and it's comfortable. I see at least one person I know anywhere I go, there's lots of different types of people, and class sizes aren't usually much over 40. Small class sizes are great if you're serious in your studies. Your teacher will know who you are, and I think you learn more that way since there's more interaction, and you can get personalized attention when you need it. However, this makes slacking off and skipping class harder. Most of my classes take attendance, and drop your grade if you miss too many classes. Phil, however, goes to a large college (over 10,000 people), and if the professors know who he is, they don't generally take attendance. I looked into living arrangements as well. Pretty much every college has the standard double room dorms (two people living in one room, multiple rooms in hallways, communal bathrooms). This is your best choice for your first year. You get stuck with a person for better or for worse, but it's just one person, and the arrangements sort of force you to go meet people. Living in a suite type thing with people you don't know was a bad experience for me. Instead of one obnoxious roomie, I had four. Having my own bathroom and air conditioning wasn't worth that. Food is also important. As far as dining hall's go, my school's isn't too bad. There's only one though. Phil's school, being huge, has several dining halls, and the ones I've been in aren't bad. Some dining halls are notably bad though. Check into the meal plan options. If the dining hall food is bad or you don't have a meal plan that gives you 14+ meals a week, look into where you can cook on campus, cost of groceries, etc. Starving makes studying hard. The type of people at your school is important too, if you're going with a somewhat smaller school. At a huge school it doesn't matter, since there are so many people, there's bound to be a little of everyone. Smaller schools might have more uniform populations though. My sister was at Farleigh Dickinson and didn't like how most of the school was stuck up rich snobs. Also look at the condition of the school. Are the buildings in good repair, furniture intact and clean? Things like that say a lot about the staff and students of a school.

Great information.

[Horatio]

So, I decided to take a break from maplestory, for at least a week, probably longer. It's an experiment of sorts. I've noticed that being on maplestory tends to get me into a bad mood (usually due to Phil being distant), and it takes up WAY more time than it should. So, I'm hoping this break will free me up to go do other more healthy and productive things with my time, and improve my mood a bit. It's also an experiment to see what Phil does. Maple has been our only form of communication outside random meetings at the grocery store, so if he wants to stay in touch, he's going to have to make some effort by reinstalling AIM, contacting me through facebook, texting, or, you know, *doing* something. I didn't talk to him about it directly, just posted a bulletin in our guild that I'm taking a break and how to contact me. I didn't even mention it to him when I saw him at the store today. He should be finding out about it soon if he hasn't already, so it will be interesting to see what happens. It's scary too though, since this is likely to sort of make or break things with us. So, it will be interesting to see what happens, and here's hoping for the best.

Taking a break from Maplestory is probably a good idea. When you play these games, you really don't realize just how much time you spend online.

 

Hopefully Phil will realize just how terrific a person you are and what he needs to do to keep you in his life. This will be a trying time while you sit and wait for him to do something or not do something. Either way, we are here for you. We are hoping for the best for you as well.

[Jesusfreak]

Experiment progress: end of day 1

 

No new results, weather and obliviousness may be potential factors.

 

(Explanation: Phil has not contacted me, and no new news from anyone from maplestory. There is a thunderstorm, which may have driven Phil away from the computer for the past hour if he had intended to try to talk online then. Also, he might not have noticed that I'm taking a break yet, if no one bothered to tell him.)

[Jesusfreak]

Oh also, I told him before what he needs to do to keep me around. He seems to have either ignored it or convinced himself he's incapable of doing it.

[The Biggest Fan Of Fuzzy]

This is directed mainly towards JF and Jesse, since you're both from my general area.

 

Both of you have obviously done the whole college process, so I just have a few questions.

 

The main one is, are there any colleges in the north east that you looked at that you would recommend I look at?

I'm so far behind, and haven't looked at anything yet. I know I definitely want to look at Fordham, Northeastern, and NYU.

I'm aiming for a big city school, but if there are any that you especially liked then lemme know!

 

Also, a lot of us always say we want to get as far away from home as possible when we go away to school. In reality I know that would be a bad thing to do. How far, approximately, are you from home and do you feel that is a comfortable distance? Would you have preferred to be closer, farther, or fine where you are.

 

 

I know you can't say what school you go/went to... but what really attracted you to your school, without being too specific? Was there something that really stood out, such as an activity, the location, the atmosphere, etc, and was that really that important as time went on?

 

 

Thankkkk you

Schools are okay to mention as you are over 18.

 

You might consider looking at Wagner College on Staten Island. Far enough away to be "away" and close enough that you can get home if you need to. Check out the courses that are offered. This might be a school that you like.

 

I hate Staten Island with a burning passion. Hate the people. But, I'll go visit it, because I want to check out a small school, and that's only 2300.

[Horatio]

This is directed mainly towards JF and Jesse, since you're both from my general area.

 

Both of you have obviously done the whole college process, so I just have a few questions.

 

The main one is, are there any colleges in the north east that you looked at that you would recommend I look at?

I'm so far behind, and haven't looked at anything yet. I know I definitely want to look at Fordham, Northeastern, and NYU.

I'm aiming for a big city school, but if there are any that you especially liked then lemme know!

 

Also, a lot of us always say we want to get as far away from home as possible when we go away to school. In reality I know that would be a bad thing to do. How far, approximately, are you from home and do you feel that is a comfortable distance? Would you have preferred to be closer, farther, or fine where you are.

 

 

I know you can't say what school you go/went to... but what really attracted you to your school, without being too specific? Was there something that really stood out, such as an activity, the location, the atmosphere, etc, and was that really that important as time went on?

 

 

Thankkkk you

Schools are okay to mention as you are over 18.

 

You might consider looking at Wagner College on Staten Island. Far enough away to be "away" and close enough that you can get home if you need to. Check out the courses that are offered. This might be a school that you like.

 

I hate Staten Island with a burning passion. Hate the people. But, I'll go visit it, because I want to check out a small school, and that's only 2300.

The interesting thing about Staten Island is that you don't even know it exists because you are in a totally different world when you are on "top of the hill". It is very easy to get into Manhattan on public transportation and that was a really great thing. The lecture classes are large, but considerably smaller than a big school, yet the professor still seems to know everyone in their class. It will be worth the drive for you just to take a look. Let me know what you think.

[Jesusfreak]

So, just about the end of day 2 (I'm counting days as ending at 11pm, which is Phil's computer curfew), and still no new results. No available explanations to account for lack of results.

[Jesse]

This is directed mainly towards JF and Jesse, since you're both from my general area.

 

Both of you have obviously done the whole college process, so I just have a few questions.

 

The main one is, are there any colleges in the north east that you looked at that you would recommend I look at?

I'm so far behind, and haven't looked at anything yet. I know I definitely want to look at Fordham, Northeastern, and NYU.

I'm aiming for a big city school, but if there are any that you especially liked then lemme know!

 

Also, a lot of us always say we want to get as far away from home as possible when we go away to school. In reality I know that would be a bad thing to do. How far, approximately, are you from home and do you feel that is a comfortable distance? Would you have preferred to be closer, farther, or fine where you are.

 

 

I know you can't say what school you go/went to... but what really attracted you to your school, without being too specific? Was there something that really stood out, such as an activity, the location, the atmosphere, etc, and was that really that important as time went on?

 

 

Thankkkk you

 

Sorry for the delayed reply. As is usual for me these days.

 

Anyway, I've only been to a few CT campuses and that's about it. Westconn and central connecticut are both somewhat big state schools in or near cities. Actually central has a nice campus...or I might just be blown away by the sheer size of it. Besides that I only know Sacred Heart. Sacred heart is a private catholic school, though the catholic bits are not forced on students or anything like that. Oh yeah, there's Gordon College, which I think is some sort of Christian school, it's a really secluded campus on the outskirts of Boston. They have a whole building just for music...imagine that! (and ones for science etc. as well)

 

As for distance, I'm about an hour away from home. I think it's a good distance because my parents can come over to watch me play in concerts and stuff, but not close enough where they feel the need to stop by all the time, and I know my mom would do that if she could. An hour isn't bad for when you're heading home for a break or a long weekend.

 

I applied to my school on early decision. It was a combination of available studies, housing, technology and extracurricular activities that helped me decide. I wanted to study math, so I made sure they had a major in that. I wanted a liberal arts school because I wanted to still be able to play music and study French more. This school has minors in both. There was also an honors program, which I wanted to join. I saw that they had band and choir programs that do concerts as well as serve as spirit groups and travel - and you get grants for joining them too, so that was really neat. For technology they give each student a laptop that is refreshed every two years and a wireless network across the whole campus so I knew I could stay on top of things on that end too. Lastly, they guarantee housing for 4 years and have an assortment of nice dorm halls both on and off campus. On top of it all, most of the people there were friendly and approachable. All those things made me pick this school immediately.

 

I hope that helps you out a bit. There are a lot of things to consider about each school. You need to decide what things matter more to you than others.

[Jesse]

So, just about the end of day 2 (I'm counting days as ending at 11pm, which is Phil's computer curfew), and still no new results. No available explanations to account for lack of results.

Something makes me unsure about this. I mean, I did the same "experiment" with a friend recently, but I ultimately figured we needed a break from each other for a while. When Phil notices he might think you need some space yourself. Then again, you said you told him what to do about keeping you around. Hopefully that means that he knows the ball is in his court.

[Horatio]

So, just about the end of day 2 (I'm counting days as ending at 11pm, which is Phil's computer curfew), and still no new results. No available explanations to account for lack of results.

Something makes me unsure about this. I mean, I did the same "experiment" with a friend recently, but I ultimately figured we needed a break from each other for a while. When Phil notices he might think you need some space yourself. Then again, you said you told him what to do about keeping you around. Hopefully that means that he knows the ball is in his court.

I agree.

[Jesusfreak]

Oh yes, I've made him quite aware. And if he still can't figure it out, he has a bunch of mutual friends who can tell him, and may have already anyways. Though, a thought occurred to me today: at the moment, we are just friends. Thinking about most of my other friends, I don't talk to them any more than Phil has been keeping in touch over the summer. I don't think he's keeping in close contact with his other friends either. So, I guess I need to keep in mind that if we're just friends, I can't have any greater expectations of him than I do of most of my other friends.

[Jesusfreak]

End of Day 3: Mutual friend from maplestory reports that Phil has been talking more, but Phil has still not made any communications outside of maplestory. Was tempted to send Phil a funny picture, but resisted.

[Jesusfreak]

End of Day 4: Still nothing new.

[Jesusfreak]

Day 5, more nothing.

[Jesusfreak]

End of Day 6: Saw Phil at work today; we were both in bad moods. I asked him when he was going to talk to me, and he listed some computer-related excuses (aim won't download, facebook gives him error messages). I suggested his ipod, and he said, "Yeah, I need to charge that...." I relayed this encounter to two mutual friends, who said it sounds like he's avoiding me, though they didn't say that he said he was. Phil still has not made any attempts to contact me.

[The Biggest Fan Of Fuzzy]

End of Day 6: Saw Phil at work today; we were both in bad moods. I asked him when he was going to talk to me, and he listed some computer-related excuses (aim won't download, facebook gives him error messages). I suggested his ipod, and he said, "Yeah, I need to charge that...." I relayed this encounter to two mutual friends, who said it sounds like he's avoiding me, though they didn't say that he said he was. Phil still has not made any attempts to contact me.

 

I have not really been following this, but... do you two have phones?

Like not necessarily cell phones, house phones work too. He can't press seven buttons and say hi?

[Jesusfreak]

End of Day 6: Saw Phil at work today; we were both in bad moods. I asked him when he was going to talk to me, and he listed some computer-related excuses (aim won't download, facebook gives him error messages). I suggested his ipod, and he said, "Yeah, I need to charge that...." I relayed this encounter to two mutual friends, who said it sounds like he's avoiding me, though they didn't say that he said he was. Phil still has not made any attempts to contact me.

 

I have not really been following this, but... do you two have phones?

Like not necessarily cell phones, house phones work too. He can't press seven buttons and say hi?

We do. Neither one of us are a big fan of talking on the phone, but it would be better than nothing, and he can always text me, but I didn't bother to mention that.

[Horatio]

*at a total loss for words*

 

*gives Jesusfreak a hug*

[Jesusfreak]

Yesterday was the end of day 7, nothing at that point aside from a mutual friend telling me he had talked to Phil. I'm talking to said friend now, who says that Phil is trying to fix things before school starts, and gave him the same excuses for not talking to me as he did to me.

[Horatio]

Yesterday was the end of day 7, nothing at that point aside from a mutual friend telling me he had talked to Phil. I'm talking to said friend now, who says that Phil is trying to fix things before school starts, and gave him the same excuses for not talking to me as he did to me.

Perhaps there is some validity to why he is not talking and it is not you. Hopefully Phil will get things worked out as it sounds like he is under some stress.

[Jesusfreak]

End of Experiment. Saw Phil in the store today, but he didn't see me; must have gone on break/ended shift right before I went to checkout. Logged on to maple today. Phil is more talkative than he was before, albeit in a really bad mood, and tired (probably why he didn't notice me before). He did not have a one-on-one conversation with me, but restated his "nothing but maple works" piece, and how he's hoping for a new computer soon (his dad is supposed to buy him one). So, there may be validity to that, though it doesn't explain his not attempting other means of communication.

[Horatio]

End of Experiment. Saw Phil in the store today, but he didn't see me; must have gone on break/ended shift right before I went to checkout. Logged on to maple today. Phil is more talkative than he was before, albeit in a really bad mood, and tired (probably why he didn't notice me before). He did not have a one-on-one conversation with me, but restated his "nothing but maple works" piece, and how he's hoping for a new computer soon (his dad is supposed to buy him one). So, there may be validity to that, though it doesn't explain his not attempting other means of communication.

He sounds overwhelmed. This has to be so very hard on you. I am so sorry that you both are going through this difficult time.

*gives Jesusfreak a hug*

[Jesusfreak]

Phil seems to be doing a bit better. I know he had today off, which is good, since he worked for 8 days straight. He seemed to be in a decent mood today, and seems to be a bit more like his old self, though he's still not talking about anything serious.

[Horatio]

Phil seems to be doing a bit better. I know he had today off, which is good, since he worked for 8 days straight. He seemed to be in a decent mood today, and seems to be a bit more like his old self, though he's still not talking about anything serious.

Eight days is a long time without a break.

 

Give him time for more serious stuff. Perhaps he will get back to his old-self as soon as he is back at school.

Work might be wearing him out.

 

At least this is what I hope.

[Jesusfreak]

Phil seems to be doing a bit better. I know he had today off, which is good, since he worked for 8 days straight. He seemed to be in a decent mood today, and seems to be a bit more like his old self, though he's still not talking about anything serious.

Eight days is a long time without a break.

 

Give him time for more serious stuff. Perhaps he will get back to his old-self as soon as he is back at school.

Work might be wearing him out.

 

At least this is what I hope.

He seems to be getting closer to his old self still; we had a conversation about food and slow-cookers lol. He had another day off today, and has one on saturday as well. I also know his sister is on vacation with their mom and step-sisters, so I wonder if that's a factor.

[Horatio]

Phil seems to be doing a bit better. I know he had today off, which is good, since he worked for 8 days straight. He seemed to be in a decent mood today, and seems to be a bit more like his old self, though he's still not talking about anything serious.

Eight days is a long time without a break.

 

Give him time for more serious stuff. Perhaps he will get back to his old-self as soon as he is back at school.

Work might be wearing him out.

 

At least this is what I hope.

He seems to be getting closer to his old self still; we had a conversation about food and slow-cookers lol. He had another day off today, and has one on saturday as well. I also know his sister is on vacation with their mom and step-sisters, so I wonder if that's a factor.

Could be a big factor... only you could answer that question.

 

Let's hope that he opens up to you.

[The Biggest Fan Of Fuzzy]

21 days without an update from JF?

 

Gurllll, where you attt?

[Jesusfreak]

Things have been a little crazy, but with no real change in my overall situation. I've been busy, and I'm going to be out of state until Sunday. Some crazy stuff has been going on with parts of Phil's family, though I'm not going to disclose exactly what. He wasn't directly impacted, but it was something major. Before that happened, a mutual friend said he wanted to fix things before school starts. He goes back at the end of the month. We both went to a different friend's birthday party last week too. It was a lot of fun, and it was obvious to me that there was still something there between us, but nothing happened. I did, however, write up a sort of plan of things that will need to happen if he wants to try our relationship again. That way, I won't forget anything, and I'll be less likely to let things slide like I did before. I want to make sure I do it right next time. But yeah, nothing of particular interest has really happened, so, no updates. ._.

[Horatio]

Things have been a little crazy, but with no real change in my overall situation. I've been busy, and I'm going to be out of state until Sunday. Some crazy stuff has been going on with parts of Phil's family, though I'm not going to disclose exactly what. He wasn't directly impacted, but it was something major. Before that happened, a mutual friend said he wanted to fix things before school starts. He goes back at the end of the month. We both went to a different friend's birthday party last week too. It was a lot of fun, and it was obvious to me that there was still something there between us, but nothing happened. I did, however, write up a sort of plan of things that will need to happen if he wants to try our relationship again. That way, I won't forget anything, and I'll be less likely to let things slide like I did before. I want to make sure I do it right next time. But yeah, nothing of particular interest has really happened, so, no updates. ._.

We missed you. Family matters can be stressful even though one is not impacted directly. We are hoping that things get straightened out for you and Phil this year. Nice to know that there is still something between you both, perhaps this next fall will see you both together again.

 

Have a great weekend. We are holding you in our hearts.

[Jesusfreak]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

[Horatio]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

Great news to know that what you are experiencing is felt by others. At least your mind can relax knowing it is not just you. Hopefully Phil's mother can help. Glad you and Jazzy were able to talk. How do you feel?

[Jesusfreak]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

Great news to know that what you are experiencing is felt by others. At least your mind can relax knowing it is not just you. Hopefully Phil's mother can help. Glad you and Jazzy were able to talk. How do you feel?

I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I feel a lot of things. New information always makes me feel better, and having other people who are in contact with both Phil and myself is always helpful. I've been sort of going between states of thinking I should give up and get over him, desperately wanting things to be fixed, and a neutral "wait and see." I hate being in a state of not knowing.

[Horatio]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

Great news to know that what you are experiencing is felt by others. At least your mind can relax knowing it is not just you. Hopefully Phil's mother can help. Glad you and Jazzy were able to talk. How do you feel?

I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I feel a lot of things. New information always makes me feel better, and having other people who are in contact with both Phil and myself is always helpful. I've been sort of going between states of thinking I should give up and get over him, desperately wanting things to be fixed, and a neutral "wait and see." I hate being in a state of not knowing.

Not knowing is definitely the worst. Waiting to see how things turn out will be hard, but at least you will be able to know that you have done all you could to see what would happen with Phil and your relationship. Hopefully things will change when he gets back to school.

[Jesusfreak]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

Great news to know that what you are experiencing is felt by others. At least your mind can relax knowing it is not just you. Hopefully Phil's mother can help. Glad you and Jazzy were able to talk. How do you feel?

I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I feel a lot of things. New information always makes me feel better, and having other people who are in contact with both Phil and myself is always helpful. I've been sort of going between states of thinking I should give up and get over him, desperately wanting things to be fixed, and a neutral "wait and see." I hate being in a state of not knowing.

Not knowing is definitely the worst. Waiting to see how things turn out will be hard, but at least you will be able to know that you have done all you could to see what would happen with Phil and your relationship. Hopefully things will change when he gets back to school.

Well, I talked to him the other day to see where he was at and where we stand. Basically, we're at the same place in which we started. He's stressed over a million different things, hasn't had time to really even think about our relationship, and doesn't think he's going to be able to have the time for it this year. I was right that us spending so much time together wasn't good for his grades, and he wants to keep that from happening again. He does want me back, he just doesn't think he can handle it right now. So, that's understandable I guess. I'm going to be too busy to visit him as much as I did too. I might suggest to him an extremely low-key relationship, where we both at least acknowledge the fact that we love each other, but we each go ahead and put other things first at least until we have more time. I don't expect him to do the impossible and make days longer or anything. What I did tell him though, was that he needs to stay in touch and talk to me more if he wants me back, and that if he continues with this not talking thing like he's been doing the past couple months, I will probably move on. That night, I had a dream where we both got back together. It was one of those dreams that felt so real, and I was so happy. Probably the best dream I ever had. Then I woke up, and reality involved that I had to stop by his house to pick up a jacket I left there last time I was there, which was before our break, about two months ago. That was kinda tough on me. Seeing him again, aside from the fact that there was no kissing and no "I love you," it was just like when we were together. We hugged, chatted about stuff, he said, "I really ought to go finish my packing" like 10 times before I actually left, just like it used to be. But, if he's not willing to even put the effort in to simply talk to me, he's not worth waiting for. I deleted the note I wrote about us taking a break yesterday, and plan to leave myself more open to new possibilities. If Phil wants me back in his life, he's going to have to put me there.

[Horatio]

My weekend was pretty fun overall. Got to see Lara, visit with family, and met my cousin's girlfriend. Last night I was talking to Jazzy (Phil's younger sister), and found out some things. I can't give details, but basically Phil is repeating history, possibly without even knowing it, and the problems I'm having with them are being experienced by other people too, so I at least know I'm not alone in this. Jazzy said she was going to get her mom to talk to him, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

Great news to know that what you are experiencing is felt by others. At least your mind can relax knowing it is not just you. Hopefully Phil's mother can help. Glad you and Jazzy were able to talk. How do you feel?

I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I feel a lot of things. New information always makes me feel better, and having other people who are in contact with both Phil and myself is always helpful. I've been sort of going between states of thinking I should give up and get over him, desperately wanting things to be fixed, and a neutral "wait and see." I hate being in a state of not knowing.

Not knowing is definitely the worst. Waiting to see how things turn out will be hard, but at least you will be able to know that you have done all you could to see what would happen with Phil and your relationship. Hopefully things will change when he gets back to school.

Well, I talked to him the other day to see where he was at and where we stand. Basically, we're at the same place in which we started. He's stressed over a million different things, hasn't had time to really even think about our relationship, and doesn't think he's going to be able to have the time for it this year. I was right that us spending so much time together wasn't good for his grades, and he wants to keep that from happening again. He does want me back, he just doesn't think he can handle it right now. So, that's understandable I guess. I'm going to be too busy to visit him as much as I did too. I might suggest to him an extremely low-key relationship, where we both at least acknowledge the fact that we love each other, but we each go ahead and put other things first at least until we have more time. I don't expect him to do the impossible and make days longer or anything. What I did tell him though, was that he needs to stay in touch and talk to me more if he wants me back, and that if he continues with this not talking thing like he's been doing the past couple months, I will probably move on. That night, I had a dream where we both got back together. It was one of those dreams that felt so real, and I was so happy. Probably the best dream I ever had. Then I woke up, and reality involved that I had to stop by his house to pick up a jacket I left there last time I was there, which was before our break, about two months ago. That was kinda tough on me. Seeing him again, aside from the fact that there was no kissing and no "I love you," it was just like when we were together. We hugged, chatted about stuff, he said, "I really ought to go finish my packing" like 10 times before I actually left, just like it used to be. But, if he's not willing to even put the effort in to simply talk to me, he's not worth waiting for. I deleted the note I wrote about us taking a break yesterday, and plan to leave myself more open to new possibilities. If Phil wants me back in his life, he's going to have to put me there.

You have such a level head about things. It seems as though you have come up with a very sensible plan. Your last statement is on target when you say that if he wants you back in his life that he is going to have to put you there. Very important for him to make the effort. Phil has to show you that you are important.

 

I know this hurts your heart, but I do believe you are going about this the most important and best way. You need to put yourself first and think about what is best for you. The rest will fall into place.

[LifesEagle]

I just want to say that this is extremely level-headed thinking on your part. Most people would let their emotions run away with them - I know that would happen to me in your situation - but you're being rational about it.

 

"Que sera sera" can sometimes be a real pain.

[Horatio]

"Que sera sera" can sometimes be a real pain.

Such a true statement.

[Horatio]

*tosses a tumbleweed into Jesusfreak's topic and decides to make this Tumbleweed Thursday*

[Jesusfreak]

Okay, I'm back at school now. I got to move in on Friday, which was cool. I talked to phil a few days earlier to see where he's at, and he seems to be in roughly the same place he was when we first took our break. At the moment it looks like if we get back together, it won't be until after we've graduated and settled into real life. I also reminded him what I said about talking to me (for some reason he had forgotten). However, pretty much all of our communication since then has been about maplestory and little else. At the moment, I have the idea that perhaps he thinks he loves me, but doesn't have a good understanding of what love is. I think that if he loved me how I loved him, his priorities would be a bit different and he'd behave differently. At one point in our conversation I said, "How exactly does love work for you?" He said, "Maybe I don't know myself," and then left to take a shower.

[Jesse]

Yea, sounds like he has things to work out in his mind. That's kind of weird that he forgot that conversation you guys had. Maybe he wasn't focused. I'm sure eventually he'll figure out how to focus on you better. It must be hard to wait for that kind of thing. But then again it'll be worth it in the end.

[Jesusfreak]

Yeah, it is. Or maybe he's just not the right one and someone better will come along. Phil was what I wanted, but with the way he acts now, I'm not so sure he still is what I want. So, I'm leaving myself open to ideas.

[Horatio]

Okay, I'm back at school now. I got to move in on Friday, which was cool. I talked to phil a few days earlier to see where he's at, and he seems to be in roughly the same place he was when we first took our break. At the moment it looks like if we get back together, it won't be until after we've graduated and settled into real life. I also reminded him what I said about talking to me (for some reason he had forgotten). However, pretty much all of our communication since then has been about maplestory and little else. At the moment, I have the idea that perhaps he thinks he loves me, but doesn't have a good understanding of what love is. I think that if he loved me how I loved him, his priorities would be a bit different and he'd behave differently. At one point in our conversation I said, "How exactly does love work for you?" He said, "Maybe I don't know myself," and then left to take a shower.

Jesusfreak, you are an amazing person with the patience of a saint. There are no words to express how frustrating it must be with Phil in such a state of uncertainty. I am sorry to have you go through all this. Perhaps this year you will let yourself be open to others should the opportunity present itself. Phil is the love of your life, but maybe someone else will step into your life, brighten your days and make you feel like you are the only person who exists in the universe. You certainly deserve this.

[Jesusfreak]

Hokay, things have been a little crazy lol, so a general idea:

 

Phil: Still hasn't been talking to me, so, as promised, I am moving on. It's kind of freeing, but there's still that feeling of something being missing. I have, however, been in better spirits since making that choice. I just hope he figures out what love is before he hurts someone else. (Phil hasn't mentioned the assortment of statuses I've had on aim/facebook/skype about moving on. I assume he's seen them since I left them up for so long, but they got no reaction, so I guess he doesn't care. I think if he really loved me he would have done something about it.)

 

Classes: So far so good. My psych professor is a young guy, wears jeans and flip flops, told us to call him Jim. Much of our work will involve people-watching in McDonalds. My inclusive middle school class only meets like every other week, professor seems batty, but nice and down to earth. Education professors are cool. The one for science/social studies I've had before, and he's awesome. The other one was *not* who I signed up for, and I have no idea why she's teaching the class. It looks like we're going to have a lot of work, but she seems reasonable enough. And choir of course is choir. The director this semester makes lots of corny jokes, but he's a nice guy. And we get to use those black choir folders again! (WAY better than the red ones, which were too small and falling apart)

 

Apartment: So far so good. Having my own room is quite nice. Water pressure in the shower is bad (takes forever to wash my hair like that), but we're not sharing it with a whole floor of people. Cooking real food is also nice; I have to go shopping today and pick up some groceries and such.

 

Other Stuff: I got summoned for jury duty! Of course they picked a day in the middle of the semester that I can't attend, but I'll request an alternate date during winter break to go.

[Horatio]

Sorry that you have having the pains of separation, but I think you have made the right decision. Someone will pop into your life that treats you much, much better.

 

Glad the apartment is working out. That's great news. Being able to cook your own food is fantastic. Having a shower that has no water pressure stinks. You have lots of hair so this must be frustrating. I like those showers that feel like a fire hose! That problem is that I could stay in them for hours. (Bad for the environment! )

 

School seems like it will be enjoyable for you and hopefully not too stressful. Your professors can make or break a great course. Hopefully this year you have all fantastic profs.

 

Glad you have updated us. Thanks!

[Jesusfreak]

Yeah, my thick hair makes my problem the opposite from yours. Low water pressure means I'm in the shower forever trying to rinse the conditioner out. Better water pressure makes that whole process much faster.

[Horatio]

Yeah, my thick hair makes my problem the opposite from yours. Low water pressure means I'm in the shower forever trying to rinse the conditioner out. Better water pressure makes that whole process much faster.

Another difference is that when you make a braid... it looks phenomenal.

When I braid my hair, I look like I have a braided rat's tail. Very, very skinny.

[Jesusfreak]

lol my hair is too short to braid now. It has to be really long to even look like a braid because it's too thick. My younger cousin has hair like mine though, and she keeps it really long; often in braids.

[Horatio]

lol my hair is too short to braid now. It has to be really long to even look like a braid because it's too thick. My younger cousin has hair like mine though, and she keeps it really long; often in braids.

Do you ever have your hair thinned? A friend of mine does that.

[Jesusfreak]

Finally, I have some time to myself that doesn't involve homework! The past week has been insane. Let's see...

 

We had a roomie meeting, where we all talked about what was bothering us in the apartment, which was good, since a lot of things needed to be addressed. My roomies have been really good about being quiet when I'm sleeping lately.

 

I've had an INSANE amount of work to do. I started field work, and taught my first lesson today. The class I was placed in is full of awesome. It's a 5th grade class, and the teacher LOVES science. The room is full of animals (no, I'm not talking about the students, who are a great group of kids). There is a snake, a hedgehog, two tarantulas, cockroaches, guinea pigs, baby ducks (they are SO cute), a turtle, a lizard, gerbils, and probably something else I'm forgetting. The lesson I taught today was on reading temperature, and I had to create and teach it with my classmate who was placed in the same class. He's not very good at writing 5th grade science lesson plans, but the lesson went pretty well overall, and my professor (who observed us) liked it.

 

I got bored and decided to make a profile on a Christian dating site, just to see who was out there (I was fair and made sure to put that I just got out of a relationship and am only looking for friends). I met a guy on there that seems really interesting, and we've been talking for a couple days on facebook. So far he seems pretty cool, and who knows, it might turn into something more. Right now I just want to be friends though, until I get to know him better and until I get completely over the whole Phil thing (I figure it's not fair to date someone if I still have feelings for my ex). I can say though, that I've been in a much better mood since I've started talking to him. So, it might be interesting to see where this goes. He goes to another college in this state, maybe 45 minutes away, so there's a good chance we'll get together to hang out some time I think.

[Horatio]

How exciting, on all fronts!!!!!

 

The 5th grade teacher sounds fantastic. I love all the animals in the classroom. How cool is that! Sounds like you did great on your presentation/lesson. I always knew you would be a phenomenal teacher.

 

Congratulations on posting on a new website. Hopefully this guy will be a great friend and something will blossom out of your meeting. Please let us know how everything is turning out.

[Jesusfreak]

Craziness this past week. My roomies got a chinchilla a week ago, but it was apparently sick when they got it and it died on Sunday. The pet store gave them a refund and they got a new one yesterday. The new one seems much healthier, and now my roomies know more about taking care of a chinchilla because they asked the pet store lots of questions. I found a voicemail from my sister when I got out of the shower saying my Uncle Bob had gone into the hospital for rehab (he's been on a lot of pain meds for his back), and ended up having a seizure while he was there, but he's okay now. I've been bogged down with absurd amounts of work. Things are going well with Shane (the guy I met on the dating site). We're hoping to get together to hang out this Friday! He's also invited me to a Halloween party at his house, but I want to hang out with him in a more neutral setting before I agree to that. He *really* seems to like me, and last night was flirting with me in Italian (which I did a good job figuring out most of based on my knowledge of Spanish). I suppose I've already got a bit of a thing for him too, but I haven't known him for long, still am not 100% over Phil, and don't want to rush into anything. It would not surprise me at all though, if we do end up dating. He's a sweetheart, interested in many of the same things I am, more serious about his faith than Phil was, and already seems to be willing to put forth effort (when talking about getting together, he had mentioned not having a car, but being theoretically able to take a bus or train down here if he had to). So, I think this could be a good thing, if for no other reason than a reminder that there are guys out there that are in fact what I'm looking for, and are willing to treat me how I would like to be treated.

[Horatio]

Craziness this past week. My roomies got a chinchilla a week ago, but it was apparently sick when they got it and it died on Sunday. The pet store gave them a refund and they got a new one yesterday. The new one seems much healthier, and now my roomies know more about taking care of a chinchilla because they asked the pet store lots of questions. I found a voicemail from my sister when I got out of the shower saying my Uncle Bob had gone into the hospital for rehab (he's been on a lot of pain meds for his back), and ended up having a seizure while he was there, but he's okay now. I've been bogged down with absurd amounts of work. Things are going well with Shane (the guy I met on the dating site). We're hoping to get together to hang out this Friday! He's also invited me to a Halloween party at his house, but I want to hang out with him in a more neutral setting before I agree to that. He *really* seems to like me, and last night was flirting with me in Italian (which I did a good job figuring out most of based on my knowledge of Spanish). I suppose I've already got a bit of a thing for him too, but I haven't known him for long, still am not 100% over Phil, and don't want to rush into anything. It would not surprise me at all though, if we do end up dating. He's a sweetheart, interested in many of the same things I am, more serious about his faith than Phil was, and already seems to be willing to put forth effort (when talking about getting together, he had mentioned not having a car, but being theoretically able to take a bus or train down here if he had to). So, I think this could be a good thing, if for no other reason than a reminder that there are guys out there that are in fact what I'm looking for, and are willing to treat me how I would like to be treated.

My prayers will be for your Uncle Bob. Hope he continues on the road to good health.

 

Did your roomies clean out the cage really, REALLY well before they put the new chinchilla into it? Please have them do more research, and if they cannot find the answers they need, I have a close friend who owns a pet store. They can get excellent information with just a phone call to his store. He is an expert with chinchillas.

 

Shane sounds like the type of guy you deserve. A guy who is willing to go the extra mile for you. Bus, train, etc., now that sounds like a guy who is most interested. You deserve a guy who will treat you like a princess. Hope he and you find you want to date... he sounds like a nice guy.

[Jesusfreak]

The people at the pet store said that there isn't anything they could have done to kill it that fast, so it probably was sick when they got it. From the first day, the new chinchilla has seemed much healthier. Unlike the other one, this one is active and alert.

 

And, interesting discussion with Shane. He's very open about his feelings, and asked what he thinks about "us." I was completely honest with him, and told him I think it could work, but that I'm not ready for a relationship yet, both because I'm not quite over Phil and because I want to get to know him better first. I explained that if we end up in a relationship, I don't want it to be a stupid rebound relationship, because that's not fair to him at all. I also explained my friends first style of dating, which I think he understands. I find his openness and directness to be really refreshing, and think that it's forming a good foundation that we might be able to base a relationship, if not just a good friendship, on later. He has a different style of thinking than I do, which might be good, though it might pose some challenges as well. We do, however, have a lot of similar likes and interests, perhaps more than Phil and I did. I have to say, I've got a bit of a crush on this kid, though I can't say I love him just yet. So now, I have to be careful to not get myself into a relationship sooner than I should, which might be tough knowing that we both like each other as possibly more than friends. Also, the other day he was flirting with me in Italian. It was fun because I was able to figure out most of it based on my knowledge of Spanish, and OMG Italian is a pretty language.

[Horatio]

The people at the pet store said that there isn't anything they could have done to kill it that fast, so it probably was sick when they got it. From the first day, the new chinchilla has seemed much healthier. Unlike the other one, this one is active and alert.

 

And, interesting discussion with Shane. He's very open about his feelings, and asked what he thinks about "us." I was completely honest with him, and told him I think it could work, but that I'm not ready for a relationship yet, both because I'm not quite over Phil and because I want to get to know him better first. I explained that if we end up in a relationship, I don't want it to be a stupid rebound relationship, because that's not fair to him at all. I also explained my friends first style of dating, which I think he understands. I find his openness and directness to be really refreshing, and think that it's forming a good foundation that we might be able to base a relationship, if not just a good friendship, on later. He has a different style of thinking than I do, which might be good, though it might pose some challenges as well. We do, however, have a lot of similar likes and interests, perhaps more than Phil and I did. I have to say, I've got a bit of a crush on this kid, though I can't say I love him just yet. So now, I have to be careful to not get myself into a relationship sooner than I should, which might be tough knowing that we both like each other as possibly more than friends. Also, the other day he was flirting with me in Italian. It was fun because I was able to figure out most of it based on my knowledge of Spanish, and OMG Italian is a pretty language.

Italian is a wonderful language! I'm certain when he was flirting with you, it must have made your heart skip a beat. Shane's open and direct approach to his feelings will certainly be good for you and this will let you know exactly were he stands. The one problem is that you have more information than you are ready for at times. Personally, I am excited about Shane coming into your life.

 

As for the chinchilla, I was not trying to imply that your friends had killed it. I was just offering a contact, should they desire to expand their knowledge or have a problem that they needed answered. As for the cage, I was trying to make sure that they had washed the cage really, really well before putting their new chinchilla in it.

[Jesusfreak]

I get to meet Shane today! Very excited about that.

[Horatio]

I get to meet Shane today! Very excited about that.

Can't wait to hear how it went.

I'm sure the news will be all smiles.

[Jesusfreak]

I get to meet Shane today! Very excited about that.

Can't wait to hear how it went.

I'm sure the news will be all smiles.

Oh, it is. He's SO cute. He's a very cuddly person, essentially a giant teddy bear. XD And funny too. He's taken what I said about being 100% open and run with it, sometimes to the point of being awkward, but I accept it as truth, and it makes for some good laughs. And now, I don't know what to do with him. We both very clearly like each other and want a relationship, and his openness means getting to know him is happening really fast, but we've still not known each other for long. I've never fallen for someone this fast before. At the end of the night when I hugged him goodbye, we both sort of looked at each other and he said, "You want to kiss me." Guilty as charged lol. I admitted to that, but said I knew it was a bad idea. He just hugged me and said "wait until you're ready" and kissed me on the top of the head instead. I'm really glad he's being so patient with me in my confusion lol. I really do want to start a relationship with him, but I'm still afraid of it just being a rebound. I think we're off to a really good start though. Next though, is how to deal with Phil in all of this. Initially, we were just on a break with the agreement to tell the other if one of us was interested in someone else. But then there was what I said about how if he didn't fix the communication thing that I would move on, and the subsequent statuses saying I was moving on (under that pretense, he ended the relationship permanently). So the question is, do I have to tell him one on one, or can he just find out on his own like everyone else?

[Horatio]

Let me begin by saying...

 

I am soooooo happy for you!!!!!!! It is wonderful to hear Shane is all you expected, then some.

We'll get back to this later.

 

It doesn't matter what the agreement was, I think for you, you need to tell Phil yourself. This will be difficult for you, but once you get started, I think Phil will be happy as well. He really hasn't been there for you, 100%. He has had things he has needed to take care of before he could find where he was. Your relationship has been gone for some time, but you always gave him the opportunity to try and pick things back up. Please give him a telephone call and let him know that you need to move on, that you will remain friends and wish him well. It doesn't have to be that you met someone else, it can just be that it is time for you to end the relationship.

 

Now as for Shane... I would not think that you are on the "rebound" as your relationship with Phil was over when he could not find time to be with you. You must take the time you need to feel comfortable, but I believe your heart is already telling you the direction you need to go.

 

Shane sounds like a terrific guy...

 

go for it!!!!!!!!!

[Jesusfreak]

Ugh, telling Phil about this is gonna be so awkward...

[Jesse]

Ugh, good luck with that. I hope Phil will learn a lesson from this, because it seems like its one he really needs to learn if he doesn't want to stay single. Other than that, great news to hear and hope everything keeps going well from you.

[Horatio]

Ugh, telling Phil about this is gonna be so awkward...

Yes it will. I have total faith in you.

[Jesusfreak]

*has just noticed "charging aardvarks* is listed as one of Jesse's interests*

[Horatio]

*has just noticed "charging aardvarks* is listed as one of Jesse's interests*

[Jesse]

Haha, I'm glad you appreciate that. It was from my geometry class in high school. Good times.

[Horatio]

Haha, I'm glad you appreciate that. It was from my geometry class in high school. Good times.

I always wondered where that came from. It's fantastic!!!

[Jesusfreak]

I'm home for the weekend; last night was the birthday party for Dad's 50th birthday. It was a lot of fun; all of dad's flying buddies are interesting people. One of them is the guy who wrote the WinZip program. It was entertaining to hear them all swap flying stories and such.

[Horatio]

I'm home for the weekend; last night was the birthday party for Dad's 50th birthday. It was a lot of fun; all of dad's flying buddies are interesting people. One of them is the guy who wrote the WinZip program. It was entertaining to hear them all swap flying stories and such.

WOW!!! The guy who wrote the WinZip program. Now I would have found him very interesting! As for the flying stories... think fish. The stories are quite similar.

 

Happy Birthday to your father. We had hot blueberry pie with vanilla bean ice cream in his honour.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm home for the weekend; last night was the birthday party for Dad's 50th birthday. It was a lot of fun; all of dad's flying buddies are interesting people. One of them is the guy who wrote the WinZip program. It was entertaining to hear them all swap flying stories and such.

WOW!!! The guy who wrote the WinZip program. Now I would have found him very interesting! As for the flying stories... think fish. The stories are quite similar.

 

Happy Birthday to your father. We had hot blueberry pie with vanilla bean ice cream in his honour.

Well, the flying stories are mostly about crashes and emergency landings, which you can't really make up. (Like the time my parents made an emergency landing on a pier on the Hudson River, the police wouldn't let them take off after the problem was resolved, but they took off anyways. Or how dad was the first one to accidentally land his PPG in the water, and one of the fire department boats that was trying to "rescue" him started sinking because they forgot to put the plug in it. )

[Horatio]

I'm home for the weekend; last night was the birthday party for Dad's 50th birthday. It was a lot of fun; all of dad's flying buddies are interesting people. One of them is the guy who wrote the WinZip program. It was entertaining to hear them all swap flying stories and such.

WOW!!! The guy who wrote the WinZip program. Now I would have found him very interesting! As for the flying stories... think fish. The stories are quite similar.

 

Happy Birthday to your father. We had hot blueberry pie with vanilla bean ice cream in his honour.

Well, the flying stories are mostly about crashes and emergency landings, which you can't really make up. (Like the time my parents made an emergency landing on a pier on the Hudson River, the police wouldn't let them take off after the problem was resolved, but they took off anyways. Or how dad was the first one to accidentally land his PPG in the water, and one of the fire department boats that was trying to "rescue" him started sinking because they forgot to put the plug in it. )

I wasn't implying that the stories were made up, it's just that after working with pilots, the "fish" seem to get bigger with time. That was all. Of course, you can't land an Airbus on a pier, you have to use the Hudson River, so your stories are much more interesting as they are PPGS. My apologies if you misunderstood what I was trying to say.

[Jesusfreak]

The pier landing was actually in a 1941 Taylorcraft airplane... And they seemed to be pretty good about not exaggerating the stories, actually. Maybe because there was usually at least one other witness to each story in the room.

[Horatio]

The pier landing was actually in a 1941 Taylorcraft airplane... And they seemed to be pretty good about not exaggerating the stories, actually. Maybe because there was usually at least one other witness to each story in the room.

Ah... the witness.

You are right, that would keep the stories straight.

[Jesusfreak]

Things have been kinda crazy lately. Tuesday in particular was insane, starting with traffic that made me late for field work. I was busy from 6am when I got up until after dinner. After I went to bed that night, I got a text from Shane at 2am saying, "Good morning, Bella :-)" (He's taking Italian, so he's taken to calling me bella, which means beautiful or pretty). I just sat there staring at it trying to figure out WHY on earth he was sending me a text that said good morning at 2 in the morning. Eventually I realized he had probably assumed that I leave my phone turned off at night, and he intended the message to be received as soon as I got up in the morning. He's a sweet heart. I'll be seeing him tomorrow, since he's coming over for the small Halloween party at our apartment.

[Horatio]

Things have been kinda crazy lately. Tuesday in particular was insane, starting with traffic that made me late for field work. I was busy from 6am when I got up until after dinner. After I went to bed that night, I got a text from Shane at 2am saying, "Good morning, Bella :-)" (He's taking Italian, so he's taken to calling me bella, which means beautiful or pretty). I just sat there staring at it trying to figure out WHY on earth he was sending me a text that said good morning at 2 in the morning. Eventually I realized he had probably assumed that I leave my phone turned off at night, and he intended the message to be received as soon as I got up in the morning. He's a sweet heart. I'll be seeing him tomorrow, since he's coming over for the small Halloween party at our apartment.

Whoo hoo!!!

I like him already!!!

 

Have fun at the Halloween party!!!

[Jesusfreak]

AHHH HOMEWORK AHHH!!!! Aside from that, things have been good. The Halloween party was a lot of fun, and a good time was had by all. Now that Halloween is over, I don't feel quite so bad about listening to Christmas music, and have been working on filling in the missing pieces in my collection by creating a Christmas playlist on Pandora (great website for music; you start a playlist by telling it a band or song you like, and it starts playing similar music. If you like the song it plays, you hit thumbs up, and it factors that song into future selections. If you hit thumbs down, it skips the song, and takes that song into account too. It's pretty cool.) Oh, and my relationship with Shane is now facebook official lol. I still think it's funny how much the internet is a measure of a relationship's legitimacy.

[Horatio]

AHHH HOMEWORK AHHH!!!! Aside from that, things have been good. The Halloween party was a lot of fun, and a good time was had by all. Now that Halloween is over, I don't feel quite so bad about listening to Christmas music, and have been working on filling in the missing pieces in my collection by creating a Christmas playlist on Pandora (great website for music; you start a playlist by telling it a band or song you like, and it starts playing similar music. If you like the song it plays, you hit thumbs up, and it factors that song into future selections. If you hit thumbs down, it skips the song, and takes that song into account too. It's pretty cool.) Oh, and my relationship with Shane is now facebook official lol. I still think it's funny how much the internet is a measure of a relationship's legitimacy.

Outstanding for the relationship!!! If you haven't told Phil, he probably has figured it out by now. Shane sounds like a perfect guy for you as he seems quite considerate and is not afraid to express himself about his feelings. Hope this works out!

 

Halloween parties can be awesome. Glad to hear everyone enjoyed themselves where you were.

 

I love Pandora. Great website.

[Jesse]

I still think it's funny how much the internet is a measure of a relationship's legitimacy.

Haha, yes, it's quite sad. Except when people fool around with it. My sister is in one such "marriage" currently

[Jesusfreak]

I still think it's funny how much the internet is a measure of a relationship's legitimacy.

Haha, yes, it's quite sad. Except when people fool around with it. My sister is in one such "marriage" currently

Yeah, I've seen people do that before lol. I know one couple who once set themselves as married or engaged as a joke, and they are now actually married. XD

[Horatio]

I still think it's funny how much the internet is a measure of a relationship's legitimacy.

Haha, yes, it's quite sad. Except when people fool around with it. My sister is in one such "marriage" currently

Yeah, I've seen people do that before lol. I know one couple who once set themselves as married or engaged as a joke, and they are now actually married. XD

So... you have not mentioned Shane in a while. How is that going?

[Jesusfreak]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

[Horatio]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

That's great news!

Any word from Phil?

[Jesusfreak]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

That's great news!

Any word from Phil?

We chat every so often in the maplestory group chat on skype, but that's it. No one-on-one or in depth conversations. I know references to Shane have been made a number of times in that chat, so I assume he knows, but I've heard nothing about his reaction to it.

[Horatio]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

That's great news!

Any word from Phil?

We chat every so often in the maplestory group chat on skype, but that's it. No one-on-one or in depth conversations. I know references to Shane have been made a number of times in that chat, so I assume he knows, but I've heard nothing about his reaction to it.

Then it appears all is good. Hope Phil finds where it is he wants to be.

[Jesusfreak]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

That's great news!

Any word from Phil?

We chat every so often in the maplestory group chat on skype, but that's it. No one-on-one or in depth conversations. I know references to Shane have been made a number of times in that chat, so I assume he knows, but I've heard nothing about his reaction to it.

Then it appears all is good. Hope Phil finds where it is he wants to be.

He'll probably (hopefully) get himself together once he moves out and doesn't have to answer to his grandparents anymore.

[Horatio]

Things are going well with Shane; I'm really happy with him, and he seems to be really happy with me.

That's great news!

Any word from Phil?

We chat every so often in the maplestory group chat on skype, but that's it. No one-on-one or in depth conversations. I know references to Shane have been made a number of times in that chat, so I assume he knows, but I've heard nothing about his reaction to it.

Then it appears all is good. Hope Phil finds where it is he wants to be.

He'll probably (hopefully) get himself together once he moves out and doesn't have to answer to his grandparents anymore.

I believe you are right.

[Jesusfreak]

My life has been pretty much entirely consumed by homework, don't expect to see me posting much (if at all) for the next couple weeks. >_<

[Horatio]

My life has been pretty much entirely consumed by homework, don't expect to see me posting much (if at all) for the next couple weeks. >_

We will miss you! We totally understand.

[Jesusfreak]

I return! All that's left now is my independent study, and then I'm done.

[Horatio]

I return! All that's left now is my independent study, and then I'm done.

*round of applause*

You must be feeling really, really good. What a nice Christmas present. You have worked very hard to accomplish your goal and I do believe you have done a stellar job of it!

 

CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!

It's all downhill now.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm finally home now!

[Horatio]

Welcome Home!!!!!

I'm certain your family is thrilled to see you!

Enjoy your Christmas!!!

[Jesusfreak]

Thanks! My Christmas was good, I can't believe it's already 2010, which is going well for me so far as well lol. No particular news at this point, I did well in all my classes and next semester is student teaching. Things are still going wonderfully with Shane, I can't believe we only started dating a couple months ago, as at this point it seems likely to me that we'll get married someday. I hadn't thought it possible before, but Shane is much better for me, and a much better boyfriend to me than Phil was. I'm so lucky to have him.

[Horatio]

Thanks! My Christmas was good, I can't believe it's already 2010, which is going well for me so far as well lol. No particular news at this point, I did well in all my classes and next semester is student teaching. Things are still going wonderfully with Shane, I can't believe we only started dating a couple months ago, as at this point it seems likely to me that we'll get married someday. I hadn't thought it possible before, but Shane is much better for me, and a much better boyfriend to me than Phil was. I'm so lucky to have him.

Happy New Year to you!

 

Shane is very, very lucky to have you in his life!!! How great that you both met.

 

We all knew you would do great in your classes, and I'm certain that you are looking forward to student teaching.

You will make a fantastic teacher.

[Jesusfreak]

Thanks! My Christmas was good, I can't believe it's already 2010, which is going well for me so far as well lol. No particular news at this point, I did well in all my classes and next semester is student teaching. Things are still going wonderfully with Shane, I can't believe we only started dating a couple months ago, as at this point it seems likely to me that we'll get married someday. I hadn't thought it possible before, but Shane is much better for me, and a much better boyfriend to me than Phil was. I'm so lucky to have him.

Happy New Year to you!

 

Shane is very, very lucky to have you in his life!!! How great that you both met.

 

We all knew you would do great in your classes, and I'm certain that you are looking forward to student teaching.

You will make a fantastic teacher.

I hope I do well. And yeah, one of the great things about Shane is that he thinks he's lucky to have me too, and expresses his affections often.

[Horatio]

Thanks! My Christmas was good, I can't believe it's already 2010, which is going well for me so far as well lol. No particular news at this point, I did well in all my classes and next semester is student teaching. Things are still going wonderfully with Shane, I can't believe we only started dating a couple months ago, as at this point it seems likely to me that we'll get married someday. I hadn't thought it possible before, but Shane is much better for me, and a much better boyfriend to me than Phil was. I'm so lucky to have him.

Happy New Year to you!

 

Shane is very, very lucky to have you in his life!!! How great that you both met.

 

We all knew you would do great in your classes, and I'm certain that you are looking forward to student teaching.

You will make a fantastic teacher.

I hope I do well. And yeah, one of the great things about Shane is that he thinks he's lucky to have me too, and expresses his affections often.

What a wonderful change from the previous relationship. You deserve a guy like Shane!

 

Hope you both had a terrific New Year celebration.

[Jesusfreak]

I love search bars. I ordered Windows 7 today (I get a free upgrade because of the computer I got), but needed to put in when I bought the laptop. My online banking history didn't go back that far, but I figured out when I bought it by searching "new laptop" here and finding the post I made about it.

[Horatio]

I love search bars. I ordered Windows 7 today (I get a free upgrade because of the computer I got), but needed to put in when I bought the laptop. My online banking history didn't go back that far, but I figured out when I bought it by searching "new laptop" here and finding the post I made about it.

That's great!!! At least it was helpful!

 

Let me know what you think of Windows 7.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

[Horatio]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

I have my chamomile tea and have been making sure to take vitamin C in addition to my usual multivitamin lol. I can't afford to be really sick.

[Horatio]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

I have my chamomile tea and have been making sure to take vitamin C in addition to my usual multivitamin lol. I can't afford to be really sick.

Sounds like you are taking all the correct precautions. Hopefully the sickness will pass you by.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

I have my chamomile tea and have been making sure to take vitamin C in addition to my usual multivitamin lol. I can't afford to be really sick.

Sounds like you are taking all the correct precautions. Hopefully the sickness will pass you by.

Hehe, the sniffly nose started today, and a few people noticed that my voice is messed up (much lower than usual). I'm still in good spirits overall though, which is the important part.

[Horatio]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

I have my chamomile tea and have been making sure to take vitamin C in addition to my usual multivitamin lol. I can't afford to be really sick.

Sounds like you are taking all the correct precautions. Hopefully the sickness will pass you by.

Hehe, the sniffly nose started today, and a few people noticed that my voice is messed up (much lower than usual). I'm still in good spirits overall though, which is the important part.

Oh no! I hope that is all the suffering you have to endure.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm back at school now (been back for a week now, had to move in early because of student teaching orientation). My class seems pretty cool, my roommates still seem uncooperative, and Shane has bronchitis. (He's had cold-like symptoms since December, and he finally went to the doctor yesterday). My family is also sick, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick too.

Please get well soon or hopefully you don't get sick. If you do get sick, please pay attention and watch that you don't do too much and get a relapse. The relapse is a million times worse.

 

Great news on the class. Glad you are enjoying it.

I have my chamomile tea and have been making sure to take vitamin C in addition to my usual multivitamin lol. I can't afford to be really sick.

Sounds like you are taking all the correct precautions. Hopefully the sickness will pass you by.

Hehe, the sniffly nose started today, and a few people noticed that my voice is messed up (much lower than usual). I'm still in good spirits overall though, which is the important part.

Oh no! I hope that is all the suffering you have to endure.

lol it's worse today. I'm hoping it doesn't get worse than this though, because I still have school tomorrow, and then I'm hopefully gonna visit Shane.