xMyOwnMindx Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 1sitting on a swing in the dark 2on this cold creepy night 3tasting cigarettes and berry flavored water, 4i am alone 5in every sense i know 6everyday is a whirlwind of stress 7few feet from home, a place i can't go 8sitting or standing in various prisons 9and everything i say i wanna take back 10and everything i eat i wanna throw up 11and everytime i make a mistake 12i take it all in 13i blow it all off 14but hold it inside 15its exploding 16my soul cant stand this weight 17these thoughts, like a disease, won't leave me alone 18carried through each year of growing 19i know i've matured so greatly 20but still, im a child 21a lost little girl 22i feel her everyday 23we are one and she is sad 24in the small breeze i can see the trees dance 25they belong here, as do i 26and for the next two hours 27we will share this park. 28today i swear to change 29so help me god 30with my knowlegde running shallow 31and my heart sewn on my sleeve 32i swear to better myself 33and put their mindless convictions behind me 34you tell them lies 35i hide behind my disguise 36keeping all feelings and thoughts 37locked inside. 38and i know this deep 39i know to embrace what ive got 40for its all that i have 41and its far better then most 42but inside that fails to reach my brain 43the same way it flows out my mouth 44how complicated it is for me to simplify 45how hard the misery is to signal away with a hand 46to forget what they say 47how i feel 48how i look 49for something better, 50something real? 51but would that even create happiness? 52can you tell me what creates happiness? 53cuz even the things that did fail me 54not a smile from a friend 55or an good hair day 56not a family member saying they love you 57not a clean room 58or a clean body 59not a million dollars 60or a loving boyfriend 61i forget what happiness is 62my life, even in the great times, has been filled with misery and my description would be like; This is a poem was inspirited by the night of november 12th, when i was stuck outside for 2 hours. Also by my overall sad feelings on myself and my life. Most of my poems are self centered, thats just how they turn out. i wrote about this topic because i AM this topic. This is how i feel most of the time. In my poem i used; imagery in the first few lines, to describe the night. It impacts my poem because it makes it easier to understand the surroundings. -smilie in line 17, like is used to compare thoughts with disease, this is important to the poem because it shows just how haunting they are. -alliteration used in line 7, impacts my poem cause it sounds good. -metaphor in line 20, comparing me to a child. -personification in line 24, the trees dancing is giving them a human quality -parallelism of the word 'how' in lines 44-48 also, in lines 9-11, "and everything i" impacts my poem because it shows the fast thinking, and repeating thoughts of confusion while writing. -alliteration used in line 7, impacts my poem cause it sounds good. im C&P 'd some things i already wrong what do you think okay assignment? .. and name?. i hate naming them. hmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment. As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment.As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. im gonna call it "im just waiting for the world to end" thanks :] im totally gonna be <3ed by my english teacher forever now. lol i love english. and you can delete the other topic about this :]] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment.As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. im gonna call it "im just waiting for the world to end" thanks :] im totally gonna be i love english. and you can delete the other topic about this :]] You're welcome. Done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment.As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. im gonna call it "im just waiting for the world to end" thanks :] im totally gonna be <3ed by my english teacher forever now. lol i love english. and you can delete the other topic about this :]] You're welcome. Done. yay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment.As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. im gonna call it "im just waiting for the world to end" thanks :] im totally gonna be i love english. and you can delete the other topic about this :]] You're welcome. Done. yay Please let me know what your English teacher thinks about your poem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Outstanding poem. I think you should use this for your English assignment.As for a title/name... I have to think on this. Your writings touch more people than you know. im gonna call it "im just waiting for the world to end" thanks :] im totally gonna be <3ed by my english teacher forever now. lol i love english. and you can delete the other topic about this :]] You're welcome. Done. yay Please let me know what your English teacher thinks about your poem. well its extra credit so i wont get a grade but i will :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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