xMyOwnMindx Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 shes so small shes naive and jealous struggles with the small everyday grime finding her small place in this tiny world walking with what seems like blind folded eyes frustration with who she is and what she can become wishing to break from the apathy shes poisoning herself but its alright its accepted shes making money now nervous of where the funds will go cracking under small pressures little girl needs someone by her side what she had was alright but wrong boy wrong boy jealousy strikes when you tell her shes lucky without but shes so dependent on the up days shes alright alive and breathing all thoughts raised up but so many days spent down lower then the floorboards sinking and thinking wishing to end things on neutral she seems clearer its gonna be fine but im not some serious changes she needs down but without the extreme all seems lost reversing it and tired to the day she hangs her happy head in same she laughs in moments she'll cry who is she who knows who feels like her who cares to ask she laughs at hurt in order to feel less she'll always run confrontation isnt her way and she'll fall into a sea of the unknown with small music and maybe a cat a piece of paper and a stomach of hurt shes lost to who she is and sick of everything she just wants things to change Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 Terrific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skwerlhugger Will Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted June 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. lol yeah i was looking at the cup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted June 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 every passing moment revels another small line of thought and too lonely to develop much just a small answer a little line of human contant almost alone is to hurt and she figured more would be okay to keep from going mad today shes tired worn from more then oversleep 'the work far too great' rings over in the small mind of hers each thought one of sadness the smallest laugh falls so hard never to be finished up and was she every small mistake from the very beginning gone unnoticed gone to be seen as something grown out of never happened and was she somthing mocked forever wishing to be another form in another day wonder and lack of time so little she can fix with such small long for rather to starve then work for work is so easily undone when all seems so hopeless small worries are enough "all the money in the work dont mean a thing if this heart stops pounding" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster_gal Posted June 26, 2007 Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 26, 2007 Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! <_ why i use to love him. still have a stuff animal version of him and when you sqeeze it stomach says ate at taco bell but since is really old because got was young now sounds kinda slurred or blurry. like all the other younger kids don know about we live while he popular just plain rude take out without telling everyone. tell some one chihuahua that dog they go src="%7B___base_url___%7D/uploads/emoticons/default_huh.png" alt=":huh:"> It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. The Taco Bell dog was great. But... my absolute favorite was Bad Andy from Dominos Pizza. He had a quite similar buddy that never made it to the U.S. from Europe, and this was Flat Eric for Levis. Both Bad Andy and Flat Eric were made by the artist of the Muppets fame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted June 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted June 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 realization of lack of friends is tough that plus monthly buddy equals tears when your spending each day dreading each moment in the times you thought youd be partying, smiling, happy and the day off is the day spent in tears sometimes things just arent fair i hate being weak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster_gal Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 realization of lack of friends is toughthat plus monthly buddy equals tears when your spending each day dreading each moment in the times you thought youd be partying, smiling, happy and the day off is the day spent in tears sometimes things just arent fair i hate being weak You are not weak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mushroom_king Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skwerlhugger Will Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* i have all three of the dog stuft animals that talk. i mean it doesnt get much better then tacos and a talking dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! <_ why i use to love him. still have a stuff animal version of him and when you sqeeze it stomach says ate at taco bell but since is really old because got was young now sounds kinda slurred or blurry. like all the other younger kids don know about we live while he popular just plain rude take out without telling everyone. tell some one chihuahua that dog they go src="%7B___base_url___%7D/uploads/emoticons/default_huh.png" alt=":huh:"> It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* i have all three of the dog stuft animals that talk. i mean it doesnt get much better then tacos and a talking dog Yes... but, does your dog speak Spanish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skwerlhugger Will Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* i have all three of the dog stuft animals that talk. i mean it doesnt get much better then tacos and a talking dog Yes... but, does your dog speak Spanish? yes it does when you squeeze it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! <_ why i use to love him. still have a stuff animal version of him and when you sqeeze it stomach says ate at taco bell but since is really old because got was young now sounds kinda slurred or blurry. like all the other younger kids don know about we live while he popular just plain rude take out without telling everyone. tell some one chihuahua that dog they go src="%7B___base_url___%7D/uploads/emoticons/default_huh.png" alt=":huh:"> It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* i have all three of the dog stuft animals that talk. i mean it doesnt get much better then tacos and a talking dog Yes... but, does your dog speak Spanish? yes it does when you squeeze it I squeak when you squeeze me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster_gal Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* i have all three of the dog stuft animals that talk. i mean it doesnt get much better then tacos and a talking dog Yes... but, does your dog speak Spanish? yes it does when you squeeze it I squeak when you squeeze me. I squeal and run away, or hide in my hamster blanket! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted June 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 This was the name of a contest at Taco Bell. You could win 1000000 pesos. But, if she wins, she has to share her winnings with the Taco Bell dog. No one talks about the taco bell dog anymore! Why? I use't to love him. I still have a stuff animal version of him, and when you sqeeze it's stomach it says, "I ate at Taco bell" but since it is really old because i got it when i was really young, it now sounds kinda slurred, or blurry. It's like now all the other younger kids don't know about him. But we got to live while he was popular! It is just plain Rude to take him out without telling everyone. Because when I tell some one about the Chihuahua that was the taco bell dog, they just go like It hate it when they do it! People should tell us before they take something out, if it was popular. (( Because it was when i was younger.)) See many websites still support the Taco Bell dog. This is a picture off one of the websites. its dumb that people dont know the taco bell dog. It truly is dumb! *~*tHe Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like the poem. I miss the Taco Bell dog. ._. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2007 and one day she'll wake up almost 2 in the afternoon smiling and free wondering where life is gonna take her today goals goals goals hmm lets see she thinks..... make friends have a stash buy rings get tan get a pack loose weight party pack for colorado life is so carefree sometimes and today i feel alright parties anyone? cuz good moods are the best situations then you come you yell you killed it you killed me thanks alot now everything is back to normal back to down and thanks alot i owe it all to you. :glare: :glare: :glare: :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2007 diary page hoping or reading the pullouts.. aka what was written in school.. (may 1st through may 16th ish) this is taking over. this feeling of not giving a . the more i care the less i try, the more i cry. each day is sadness, trapped and every breath i takes another wasted second of the day. i fear these thoughts will build and overcome me and one day when im learning to drive ill push down hard and run staight into a building, signs, trees and people, killing myself and family. i dont want this but i fear it will happen when these thoughts ive had forever will take me over. hopelessness like a disease eating my insides tearing ripping eating decaying me. but i just dont care and cant make things right i cant seem to try hard enough but in my head i work so hard i guess all i do is worry and stress and actually get nothing done and seeing that and knowing its wrong, they say is 1/2 the battle but its not. theyre just liar.s the entired battle is just doing something about it. new day.. shouldnt i be over this? more mature? maybe my brain just prevents the logical thinking that i should have? im so confused. why do i feel this way? only i can help me. i wanna do it alone. this is my illness and i want to be the one to fix it. is that wrong? how will anyone else help me to CARE? i like not caring. i am free. i dont want to change that. free but hopeless? i just dont understand... what do i need? what do i want? letting the sickness grow i am forsake by my own will. well thats stupid. what will make my slightly give a .....? im gonna get a job. i guess newww day.. she pushes her anger out. i pull mine in and for every real problem or hers, ive created 3 of my own. the issues i have were created in my mind, like bugs and bacteria. im a danger, a disease to myself. its like internal battles since birth have ripped and town my insides and i feel weel enough to tlive, but not enough to give a ......... im stuborn and almost unwilling to change, even if i am in pain. i dont know whe that is. i guess i just want to know who ill be. my thoughts are so much less angry and more hopeless and deserted. just sad. im less angry, more sad. she is angry, angry things are so frigged up. im angry too, but sad masks over. neeeew day.. i am the living dead. i look and feel like [bad]. today is a very bad day and lately all the money isnt enough. im sick of school. sick of being sick and overall pissed off. due dates and stress and laziness crash down and i wanna give up. so bad. stuck here for hours the sickness pains me. i am weak and i am sleepless. burning flame has grown so dull. im slipping falling wanting more trying to get this together crying out. insecurities eating me alive trying to break up my insides hoping for the day ill find a tiny happy moment im sick of hating everything. im sick of wishing i were dead. i hate the daily grime. i hate crying living dying breathing writing hurting trying. i dont know how to feel okay. im gonna [cant read it..] and i dont care. im falling im suffering and its MY fault i cant breathe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted July 2, 2007 Report Share Posted July 2, 2007 :blink: :blink: I wish there was something I could do to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster_gal Posted July 2, 2007 Report Share Posted July 2, 2007 :blink: :blink: I wish there was something I could do to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2007 there not how i feel anymore. it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted July 3, 2007 Report Share Posted July 3, 2007 there not how i feel anymore.it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year I feel bad that you feel like that at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 there not how i feel anymore.it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year I feel bad that you feel like that at all. thanks. i feel bad that i have work in an hour :[ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted July 4, 2007 Report Share Posted July 4, 2007 there not how i feel anymore.it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year I feel bad that you feel like that at all. thanks. i feel bad that i have work in an hour :[ I wish you didn't have to work either, but you will have $$$ at the end of the week. What kind of work are you doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 there not how i feel anymore.it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year I feel bad that you feel like that at all. thanks. i feel bad that i have work in an hour :[ I wish you didn't have to work either, but you will have $$$ at the end of the week. What kind of work are you doing? im a cashier at shoprite. btw, im not gonna be back till the 22nd or 23rd. im going to colorado and they have no internet cuz theyre dumb so bye for a little Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted July 5, 2007 Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 there not how i feel anymore.it was for like.. a day the other day but all is good now its summer im making money getting stuff driving around got everything i need im alright but i went reading my diary and thats what i wrote in school thats how i feel most of the year I feel bad that you feel like that at all. thanks. i feel bad that i have work in an hour :[ I wish you didn't have to work either, but you will have $$$ at the end of the week. What kind of work are you doing? im a cashier at shoprite. btw, im not gonna be back till the 22nd or 23rd. im going to colorado and they have no internet cuz theyre dumb so bye for a little *gives Lauren a big hug* We will miss you when you are gone. Hope you have a good time in Colorado. It is a beautiful state, you should like it. Hurry back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesse Posted July 5, 2007 Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 *waves* Have a safe trip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 thanks guys i had another amazing summer day today lifes mad sweet i got my first pay check today. $183!! :] my mom told me i could spend it all :PPPPP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted July 6, 2007 Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 thanks guysi had another amazing summer day today lifes mad sweet i got my first pay check today. $183!! :] my mom told me i could spend it all :PPPPP I know you won't listen to me, but please save at least $45 of it, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 haha i spent ALL of it. and 45 wut a random number ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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