thoughts.

[xMyOwnMindx]

well its mixed feelings

isnt it always

life is such a weird swirl

of highs and lows

betrayals and best friends

lying to live

looking for love

i cant consume it

pretend that it doesnt run me

the thoughts

the things we deal with

and i guess i just think too much

break it down further then i should

and the same things ill cry about one day

will make me crack up the next

my life isnt average

ive ditched "nice" activities

for things i shouldnt do

but i love it

and i cant see me any other way

my family is dysfunctional

theres been better, theres been worse

and sometimes its hard not to cry about it, sometimes its hard not to joke

in the end

im accepting things

one piece at a time

i need to let go, live, move on, cry, hurt

and breathe it all away

im so sick of being caught up

i need somthing to make me rise above it all

i AM that somthing

nothing else can make me live fully

i cant take pills that can do that

i cant talk my way out of it

i cant be sent anywhere that can help me

1/2 as much as i can help myself

and ive come to terms with that.

and basically all things in my life

and if i can remember these words

next time im yelling, or crying or wasting time

i can be a better person.

maybe i dont know what im doing

or who im hurting

or how im changing things

but i know if i think about it,

i can do anything.

and thats power beyond anything else.

[Horatio]

Really, really great Lauren!

Really, really GREAT!

[xMyOwnMindx]

thank you. :]

[Patchwork]

very kool

you are a great writer.

you're getting better, too!

[xMyOwnMindx]

thanx.

it all depends on the day i guess