xMyOwnMindx Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 we called each other 'drug buddies' as we planned the things we would do the way we'd make the money the job im gonna get and the guy at cvs eyeing the dust off as we walk out laughing bad taste in my mouth popping brain cells so high i couldve flown away hit after hit i smiled and looked around sitting in broad daylight screaming outside ironic what i can get away with coke and E and LSD we're kids our friends try to hold us back we ignore them and stick with the kids we can trust half my heart got my mind always been in our head to go further we all lied the "only bud" promise but im a good liar when im trying to convince me im still happy cant drag me down even with puke in my mouth im smiling im living wut i need im puking up cake and soup exercise and days without sleep this is my childhood and im living my life. your morals dont cover me i could care less whos gonna "kill me" for my choices its not like anythings changed i just told a lie :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 we called each other 'drug buddies'as we planned the things we would do the way we'd make the money the job im gonna get and the guy at cvs eyeing the dust off as we walk out laughing bad taste in my mouth popping brain cells so high i couldve flown away hit after hit i smiled and looked around sitting in broad daylight screaming outside ironic what i can get away with coke and E and LSD we're kids our friends try to hold us back we ignore them and stick with the kids we can trust half my heart got my mind always been in our head to go further we all lied the "only bud" promise but im a good liar when im trying to convince me im still happy cant drag me down even with puke in my mouth im smiling im living wut i need im puking up cake and soup exercise and days without sleep this is my childhood and im living my life. your morals dont cover me i could care less whos gonna "kill me" for my choices its not like anythings changed i just told a lie :] ... *hugs you* *realizes hugging might be getting old but i havent had one in forever so im giving them to everyone* *hugs everyone on HD, all 5555 members(ok exagerated)* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 13, 2006 Report Share Posted October 13, 2006 ...*hugs you* *realizes hugging might be getting old but i havent had one in forever so im giving them to everyone* *hugs everyone on HD, all 5555 members(ok exagerated)* *gives Topazia another hammie bear huggle* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 21, 2006 Report Share Posted October 21, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. *wishes hugs could convey happy thoughts and not just warmth* *wishes the happy thoughts would come to ME* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 22, 2006 Report Share Posted October 22, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. *wishes hugs could convey happy thoughts and not just warmth* *wishes the happy thoughts would come to ME* *always thinks happy thoughts and gives hammie cyber hugs to Topazia* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 22, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Don't. This is for anyone young who might be reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Don't. This is for anyone young who might be reading. I AM young, in my knowledge of the world. It drives me crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 23, 2006 Report Share Posted October 23, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Don't. This is for anyone young who might be reading. I AM young, in my knowledge of the world. It drives me crazy. Don't let it drive you crazy. You can not possibly know everything, even if you were 1000!!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poison_ivy Posted October 24, 2006 Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Don't. This is for anyone young who might be reading. thank you for all your care in protecting everyone here. i'm actually a little surprized that you allow references to drugs at all. to Topazia: i know what you mean! so many times i am surprized of my lack of knowledge, not the smart kind, the life kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 lol. dont worry. im pretty stupid, so just about anyone feels smart next to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 24, 2006 Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 you guys are crazy. and just for the record... the only drug there is weed.. i swear its like the fcc is everywhere. i'm gonna feel stupid when you tell me but... fcc? define? Directly referring to the Federal Communications Commission. (Censoring) Indirectly referring to me. (Censoring in the form of moderating) Ah. Gotcha. Now I feel sheltered again! Don't. This is for anyone young who might be reading. thank you for all your care in protecting everyone here. i'm actually a little surprized that you allow references to drugs at all. to Topazia: i know what you mean! so many times i am surprized of my lack of knowledge, not the smart kind, the life kind. I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. yea, well, i didnt expect to. no, thats weak and has only gotta me into trouble in the past. they say thats the "right" thing to do, but its a total lie. id rather go back to cutting then be entirely codependent plus im lying to half my friends at the moment. they wouldnt understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 25, 2006 Report Share Posted October 25, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. yea, well, i didnt expect to. no, thats weak and has only gotta me into trouble in the past. they say thats the "right" thing to do, but its a total lie. id rather go back to cutting then be entirely codependent plus im lying to half my friends at the moment. they wouldnt understand. Let me understand, you do not want to hurt your mother by telling her the truth about how you feel, but you do not think she would have any hurt if the one time you cut yourself you bled to death? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. yea, well, i didnt expect to. no, thats weak and has only gotta me into trouble in the past. they say thats the "right" thing to do, but its a total lie. id rather go back to cutting then be entirely codependent plus im lying to half my friends at the moment. they wouldnt understand. Let me understand, you do not want to hurt your mother by telling her the truth about how you feel, but you do not think she would have any hurt if the one time you cut yourself you bled to death? thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 26, 2006 Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. yea, well, i didnt expect to. no, thats weak and has only gotta me into trouble in the past. they say thats the "right" thing to do, but its a total lie. id rather go back to cutting then be entirely codependent plus im lying to half my friends at the moment. they wouldnt understand. Let me understand, you do not want to hurt your mother by telling her the truth about how you feel, but you do not think she would have any hurt if the one time you cut yourself you bled to death? thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. I am not judging you. It hurts me to hear that your mother would just tell you to get over it... etc. She was not listening. I am totally sure her response would make me depressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2006 I probably should not have, but I thought about it over and over and sometimes still think about whether or not this was the correct decision. i guess i could accept that cenorship, if thats wut you gotta do. its not right, but i get it. so today in amnesty int. we watched this movie about women and sweatshops in mexico.. id be lied if i said i wasnt touched it contributed to my outbrusts and bad mood today i HATE the way i live im selfish and slob and i cant wait straight or look nice this isnt who i wanna be and im TRYING to change and i keep stressing out and crying. why does somthing so simple have me so caught up? grrr im so frustrated! Can you talk to your mother so she understands what you are going through? i did. The real question is...did your mother listen or simply hear you and does she understand? she didnt understand. and i cant make her. and i dont need to hurt her anymore then my brother already does. how do you explain to your mother that you HATE her for creating you out of love? and hate the fact that it happened. i need to learn how to deal with things myself. I'm sorry she didn't understand. It is sad that you are unable to open her eyes. This is not about learning to deal with things yourself, perhaps you could find someone to talk to. yea, well, i didnt expect to. no, thats weak and has only gotta me into trouble in the past. they say thats the "right" thing to do, but its a total lie. id rather go back to cutting then be entirely codependent plus im lying to half my friends at the moment. they wouldnt understand. Let me understand, you do not want to hurt your mother by telling her the truth about how you feel, but you do not think she would have any hurt if the one time you cut yourself you bled to death? thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. I am not judging you. It hurts me to hear that your mother would just tell you to get over it... etc. She was not listening. I am totally sure her response would make me depressed. sometimes i feel like im okay but then the smallest thing like my brother does somthing and im in tears im weak i cant be weak anymore i need to be stronger i dont know how .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 thats foolish.i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 28, 2006 Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 ...lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) Thanks for the kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted October 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2006 thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted November 1, 2006 Report Share Posted November 1, 2006 thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2006 thats foolish. i hate when people tell me thats gonna happen. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me. anyway, i tried to talk to her and i was crying and she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' which made it worse in my heart i feel my depression grow it takes so much more to make me happy now its almost like im beyond dead.. when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchwork Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 4, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood and not let them know AT ALL wuts going on? yea. i think deep down that would make them very happy. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* oh mary jane by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchwork Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood and not let them know AT ALL wuts going on? yea. i think deep down that would make them very happy. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* oh mary jane by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Thank you for the sarcasm. Here's some news you may or may not enjoy: The guilt I feel from my dealings with Ich are not only ruining my life, but also my faith. what does that say about how I know what I speak of? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted November 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood and not let them know AT ALL wuts going on? yea. i think deep down that would make them very happy. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* oh mary jane by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Thank you for the sarcasm. Here's some news you may or may not enjoy: The guilt I feel from my dealings with Ich are not only ruining my life, but also my faith. what does that say about how I know what I speak of? wut sarcasum? guilt about wut. didnt he become bi, dump you and move away? i know im missing parts of the story but wut is the guilt for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood and not let them know AT ALL wuts going on? yea. i think deep down that would make them very happy. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* oh mary jane by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Thank you for the sarcasm. Here's some news you may or may not enjoy: The guilt I feel from my dealings with Ich are not only ruining my life, but also my faith. what does that say about how I know what I speak of? wut sarcasum? guilt about wut. didnt he become bi, dump you and move away? i know im missing parts of the story but wut is the guilt for? let's just say I bit off more than I could chew. Actually, he was already bi, he jsut neglected to tell me. You are missing so much of this story, and Horatio will never be so senile as to let the truth through. My answer above is all you need to know and more, if you think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted December 2, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 when you become a cutter, then you can judge me I've thought about it. I've been so depresed I fantasized about how it would feel. I've dreamt about it so vividly I've wondered when I woke up why my wrists aren't bleeding or why my thighs don't hurt. I've woken up with a hangover from the detailed, graphic nature of my nightmares. i've dreamed of things that would drive anyone to death. I've never cut, but I still know what it feels like. Horatio's right, holding that in mind. yea man but like i know whut my limits are about cutting ya kno? ive been a cutting for a while but i havnt since like april ive burned but nothnig major im just like.. wow man i can stop cutting cuz i was hurting everyone so i got over it handled it my own way and now ive got wut ive want and they have wuyt they want but do they? indeed they do really? they want a girl who can handle life without something in her blood and not let them know AT ALL wuts going on? yea. i think deep down that would make them very happy. she was like 'get over it.. blah blah blah' Oh, she was not. Moms don't do that, Lauren. Only if what you were saying was a matter that could suffer such floccinaucinihilipilification (the act of estimating as worthless), would that be appropraite, like if some girl called you short. *laughs, as I'm 5'2* woah, um, yea she did say that. like not coldy byt it was low. i was like ow and i cried on the way to the store,. well that was cold of her. if it hurt you you should say something to her. otherwise she'll never know, and she'll jus tdo it again. eh, its wutever now. Oh, ok its almost like im beyond dead Wow, you and I have a lot in common with each other in our head. I wrote a poem about that once, but it has the H word in it and it's a key rhyming word... So I can't share it here, lest Horatio sees it (which the pilot hamster always does, and I'm grateful for the devotion) yea, right now i feel the exact opposite its like ive died and gone to heaven as its sweet and its been 7 hours. and im still good 7 hours some green mixed runing around omg sdjka \that's because your'e high, Lauren. Be it on drugs or adrenaline, you were high when you wrote this. You know that. If you're that moody, maybe you're bipolar, like someone I once knew. *hugs you just because* *gives you a superKUDOS* i absolutely HATE being sober theres so many different things to change myself with its like.. pick your poison and blah blah blah, thats wrong help this that blah blah blah since im gonna be helping my cousin today my poison is somthing safe.. mood stabalizers. Oh, Lauren...*sigh* oh mary jane by the way, horatio, you are welcome for those kind words. *hugs you for the sake of it* Thank you for the sarcasm. Here's some news you may or may not enjoy: The guilt I feel from my dealings with Ich are not only ruining my life, but also my faith. what does that say about how I know what I speak of? wut sarcasum? guilt about wut. didnt he become bi, dump you and move away? i know im missing parts of the story but wut is the guilt for? let's just say I bit off more than I could chew. Actually, he was already bi, he jsut neglected to tell me. You are missing so much of this story, and Horatio will never be so senile as to let the truth through. My answer above is all you need to know and more, if you think about it. oh, i see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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