scar me.

[xMyOwnMindx]

im just gonna talk.

cuz i feel horrible

i have vomit

in my nose

i was horrible today

im gonna do crunches

and then freeze some calories off

i feel like im gonna explode

i feel like i have BED..

but i dont

cuz i was good yesterday

and i FELT good

and i LOST weight

and then today i had to stuff myself to suffication

WHY?

 

why do i do this to myself?

im starting the strictest diet for myself

i cannot fail myself

i dont want to be like this

im sick of fat

 

i know im better then this

why, lauren, why hurt yourself this way

 

cuz skinny is everything

 

but its not... you wont be happy

 

stop making me fat, your worthless

 

if i am, then you are.

 

thats true

 

maybe were both a little crazy

 

yea, lets meet in the middle

 

will you let today go if we hurt tomorrow

 

thats a good plan

 

today was most horrible

 

but this is who we are

and i accept that

 

of course we'll be happy

what else in life is there to wish for

 

we will be his tiny little angel

 

we'll fly and be free and be beautiful

 

too bad i feel so sick

 

yea.. theres vomit in my nose

and the smell is everywhere

 

i taste it in my mouth

i wanna burn

 

burn, burn,burn to death

 

we dont need life

 

not this one, not any one

 

life is oh,so pointless

 

but we move on

and we pain

and we obess

 

while i walked home alone

i hummed the songs i heard

the words hitting me too close

i wished i didnt feel so bad

running on 320, which is alot by 5pm

and i knew it would be 220 when i got home

i got home quickly

i wished the walk was longer

i thought about the times it didnt matter

and how i was going crazy

and i could hurt people

 

 

then i thought about my goals

and how id feel

theres no way i could give up.

im almost 1/2 way there

1/2 way towards a life ive wanted forever

 

im not diseased

im just bettering myself

i will become.. me.. but great

i will control my intakes, exercise, perfect my skin, get into shape, get new clothes, organize my life

and then figure out wut im gonna do for the rest of it

i will learn to drive

stay in love

or find new love

mature my thoughts

live, love, grow, do some drugs

get high

get low

and then ill be complete

 

we'll be amazing

superhuman

 

one thing at a time

sit up, walk straight, head up

educate, grow and learn

 

theres nothing left to say

one step, two steps

perfect.

 

ill never be the same

i feel this now..

it runs me.

but i need it

i will use this to make everything right

whats one more thing anyway, right?

:]

[Topazia]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

[xMyOwnMindx]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

 

i am. i.. dont know why im alive.

not that anyone does

i just.. feel so sick right now..

but tomorrow is a school day

so i know i can control myself

just dont know how to deal with the fatigue

life is so meaningless..

[Topazia]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

 

i am. i.. dont know why im alive.

not that anyone does

i just.. feel so sick right now..

but tomorrow is a school day

so i know i can control myself

just dont know how to deal with the fatigue

life is so meaningless..

*hugs you*

ok now i wish i had someone to hug me when i feel like that. Like now!

[Horatio]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

 

i am. i.. dont know why im alive.

not that anyone does

i just.. feel so sick right now..

but tomorrow is a school day

so i know i can control myself

just dont know how to deal with the fatigue

life is so meaningless..

*hugs you*

ok now i wish i had someone to hug me when i feel like that. Like now!

*gives Topazia the most gigantic hammie bear huggle and gets everyone to join in on a group hug*

[Cheesus]

im just gonna talk.

cuz i feel horrible

i have vomit

in my nose

i was horrible today

im gonna do crunches

and then freeze some calories off

i feel like im gonna explode

i feel like i have BED..

but i dont

cuz i was good yesterday

and i FELT good

and i LOST weight

and then today i had to stuff myself to suffication

WHY?

 

why do i do this to myself?

im starting the strictest diet for myself

i cannot fail myself

i dont want to be like this

im sick of fat

 

i know im better then this

why, lauren, why hurt yourself this way

 

cuz skinny is everything

 

but its not... you wont be happy

 

stop making me fat, your worthless

 

if i am, then you are.

 

thats true

 

maybe were both a little crazy

 

yea, lets meet in the middle

 

will you let today go if we hurt tomorrow

 

thats a good plan

 

today was most horrible

 

but this is who we are

and i accept that

 

of course we'll be happy

what else in life is there to wish for

 

we will be his tiny little angel

 

we'll fly and be free and be beautiful

 

too bad i feel so sick

 

yea.. theres vomit in my nose

and the smell is everywhere

 

i taste it in my mouth

i wanna burn

 

burn, burn,burn to death

 

we dont need life

 

not this one, not any one

 

life is oh,so pointless

 

but we move on

and we pain

and we obess

 

while i walked home alone

i hummed the songs i heard

the words hitting me too close

i wished i didnt feel so bad

running on 320, which is alot by 5pm

and i knew it would be 220 when i got home

i got home quickly

i wished the walk was longer

i thought about the times it didnt matter

and how i was going crazy

and i could hurt people

 

 

then i thought about my goals

and how id feel

theres no way i could give up.

im almost 1/2 way there

1/2 way towards a life ive wanted forever

 

im not diseased

im just bettering myself

i will become.. me.. but great

i will control my intakes, exercise, perfect my skin, get into shape, get new clothes, organize my life

and then figure out wut im gonna do for the rest of it

i will learn to drive

stay in love

or find new love

mature my thoughts

live, love, grow, do some drugs

get high

get low

and then ill be complete

 

we'll be amazing

superhuman

 

one thing at a time

sit up, walk straight, head up

educate, grow and learn

 

theres nothing left to say

one step, two steps

perfect.

 

ill never be the same

i feel this now..

it runs me.

but i need it

i will use this to make everything right

whats one more thing anyway, right?

:]

I wish I had your determination to lose weight. I need to get down to at most 205. I'm 5'6', and 220. I hate it. X( at least a good bit of it is muscle, though. =D

[xMyOwnMindx]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

 

i am. i.. dont know why im alive.

not that anyone does

i just.. feel so sick right now..

but tomorrow is a school day

so i know i can control myself

just dont know how to deal with the fatigue

life is so meaningless..

*hugs you*

ok now i wish i had someone to hug me when i feel like that. Like now!

 

 

*bigger hugs you!*

[Topazia]

;'.'

 

i cant say anything.

 

powerful just doesnt seem to cut it this time...

 

you sound so desperate.

 

i am. i.. dont know why im alive.

not that anyone does

i just.. feel so sick right now..

but tomorrow is a school day

so i know i can control myself

just dont know how to deal with the fatigue

life is so meaningless..

*hugs you*

ok now i wish i had someone to hug me when i feel like that. Like now!

 

 

*bigger hugs you!*

aw, thanks, Lauren. Actually, I needed that. Thank you.