Topazia Posted September 28, 2006 Report Share Posted September 28, 2006 I feel so weak I've been going full speed for weeks But only <5hr sleep per night muscles cramping for nothing listening to depressing music because i can connect right now its despaire by a morning grey i think theyre emo yeah emo/indie i was listening to bother by stone sour but then i changed to my myspace song instead of ich's i feel like death is so close i could touch it and feel warm again but i cant do that theres too much riding on my life for one thing, i'm not much for extreme heat twice in the last ten days i imagined slipping in the shower while shaving oops my arm but i didnt do that because ich did and it almost killed me but he didnt do it again why do i bother life hurts so much nowadays so cold when everyone has someone im so alone i cant trust anyone with anything except the one i cant have i cant trust males i cant trust family i can hardly trust here but see you dont judge or try to help you let me rant and say wow paz really good but sometimes the written word isn't enough sometimes i need more i need to be held tight until it goes away thats all i ever wanted all i ever really needed to be held to feel safe to feel loved and alive to feel like life is worth the stuff i go through to feel like there is something for me here to feel like its worth fighting my way back to the surface im drowning in my own smiles forced of course but never really "forced" looking im a chameleon emotions never really showing until i want them to but even then i cant always show them because i have to stay perfect almost perfect to the world at least but with my past? you dont even know half of it unless i posted somewhere about the boy in the yellow room you dont know me you know what i tell you but you can tell if i lie you can tell if im faking it because i write callously when i lie when im honest i write sadly even in the faded jeans im dying inside when i talk about sharie or sarah's past or vero's past i drew sarah but i dont have a scanner to show you all pity what is that anyway? what a fake... hold me someone help me breathe again life isnt worth it right now... ------ ok im done gotta go to bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted September 28, 2006 Report Share Posted September 28, 2006 Very, very powerful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted September 28, 2006 Report Share Posted September 28, 2006 I feel so weakI've been going full speed for weeks But only <5hr sleep per night muscles cramping for nothing listening to depressing music because i can connect right now its despaire by a morning grey i think theyre emo yeah emo/indie i was listening to bother by stone sour but then i changed to my myspace song instead of ich's i feel like death is so close i could touch it and feel warm again but i cant do that theres too much riding on my life for one thing, i'm not much for extreme heat twice in the last ten days i imagined slipping in the shower while shaving oops my arm but i didnt do that because ich did and it almost killed me but he didnt do it again why do i bother life hurts so much nowadays so cold when everyone has someone im so alone i cant trust anyone with anything except the one i cant have i cant trust males i cant trust family i can hardly trust here but see you dont judge or try to help you let me rant and say wow paz really good but sometimes the written word isn't enough sometimes i need more i need to be held tight until it goes away thats all i ever wanted all i ever really needed to be held to feel safe to feel loved and alive to feel like life is worth the hsit i go through sorry horatio you can change it to crap if you want to feel like there is something for me here to feel like its worth fighting my way back to the surface im drowning in my own smiles forced of course but never really "forced" looking im a chameleon emotions never really showing until i want them to but even then i cant always show them because i have to stay perfect almost perfect to the world at least but with my past? you dont even know half of it unless i posted somewhere about the boy in the yellow room you dont know me you know what i tell you but you can tell if i lie you can tell if im faking it because i write callously when i lie when im honest i write sadly even in the faded jeans im dying inside when i talk about sharie or sarah's past or vero's past i drew sarah but i dont have a scanner to show you all pity what is that anyway? what a fake... hold me someone help me breathe again life isnt worth it right now... ------ ok im done gotta go to bed im sorry i cant really say anything to help. saying 'i know how you feel' also does nothing theres are no words even 'im sorry your going thru this..' means nothing. ..im sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted September 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 im sorry i cant really say anything to help.saying 'i know how you feel' also does nothing theres are no words even 'im sorry your going thru this..' means nothing. ..im sorry. dont be you didnt do anything to make me feel that bad. horatio, you didn't change it? i didnt mean to misspell it, i assumed it would be asteriked... oh well... you can still edit it if you wanted to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 im sorry i cant really say anything to help. saying 'i know how you feel' also does nothing theres are no words even 'im sorry your going thru this..' means nothing. ..im sorry. dont be you didnt do anything to make me feel that bad. horatio, you didn't change it? i didnt mean to misspell it, i assumed it would be asteriked... oh well... you can still edit it if you wanted to... I left it until someone said something. Unfortunately it was you that mentioned it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 .. im lost. did i answer you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchwork Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 .. im lost.did i answer you? i dunno. you mean reply? yes. i didnt ask ou anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 .. im lost. did i answer you? i dunno. you mean reply? yes. i didnt ask ou anything no, idk. im confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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