xMyOwnMindx Posted August 20, 2006 Report Share Posted August 20, 2006 i was going thru an old notebook i wrote in sometimes and i found this note stapled in there. i couldnt believe the date. i was like 03?! no way... gotta be like 04 or 05 but i checked a calender and it was a friday november 7th in 2003. this could be one of my very first pleads for death. i just find it odd that i cant remember much before this time... i was only 12 and i wanted to die more then anything ive ever felt before. for no reason wut so ever. i wish i had memories of a time before this.. something happy to look back on... (and note it says "i have no friends" and then later it kinda proves i do.. note2- i spaced it out so its easy to read) friday, november 7th, 2003 its not worth it nothings worth it i want to be dead and noone would care i dont want anything. id give i all up. i just wanna die. my parents hate me, i have no friends, i hate myself why cant i just die. why couldnt ive been a miscarage? i hate myself. i just want to die a quick and painless death people would say stuff like what about everything you like and music and your friends but i dont really care anymore. i cant take this anymore. i dont wanna live like this. i would do anything to be anyone else. why does it have to be like? no one loves me, no one cares at all. i want everything to be gone and me to sleep forever on a cloud. with nothing at all to care about. heaven must be beauitful. maybe i'll find out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place.i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 22, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 23, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). i know wut apathetic means. i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Please continue posting your written works! They are phenomenally touching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topazia Posted August 23, 2006 Report Share Posted August 23, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). i know wut apathetic means. i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Oh, lauren, not like that! I just meant that there aren't words to reply without understating the whole thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). i know wut apathetic means. i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Oh, lauren, not like that! I just meant that there aren't words to reply without understating the whole thing! oh. good. cuz i was like. fine.. maybe ill just leave hd.. idk. i dont need a big horay cuz of my work, im perfectly happy with wutever comes to mind. ill get insulted if people hate them but you really cant blame people for saying how they feel. i wanna know.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mushroom_king Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). i know wut apathetic means. i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Oh, lauren, not like that! I just meant that there aren't words to reply without understating the whole thing! oh. good. cuz i was like. fine.. maybe ill just leave hd.. idk. i dont need a big horay cuz of my work, im perfectly happy with wutever comes to mind. ill get insulted if people hate them but you really cant blame people for saying how they feel. i wanna know.. *~*The Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like your poetry. I really like the one about Rob. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 24, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 i think thats a reason i cant leave this place. i feel like ive been here FOREVER. cuz i cant remember when i wasnt.. :closedeyes: We would be sad if you left. I am glad you can't leave. ive tried. i cant even imagine sarah's (animal kidd) face if she knew i like practically lived here? lol (please say somthing about the note too..) the note was interesting. Very thought provoking. You really don't remember your childhood? I know that feeling too well. It's hard to comment on some of your writing because there's just nothing that can be said without sounding harsh or apathetic (uncaring). i know wut apathetic means. i didnt know you felt like THAT about my work, thanks alot. maybe ill stop posting it. Oh, lauren, not like that! I just meant that there aren't words to reply without understating the whole thing! oh. good. cuz i was like. fine.. maybe ill just leave hd.. idk. i dont need a big horay cuz of my work, im perfectly happy with wutever comes to mind. ill get insulted if people hate them but you really cant blame people for saying how they feel. i wanna know.. *~*The Grand Illusion*~*The Final Cut*~* I like your poetry. I really like the one about Rob. *~*The Psychedelic Luau*~*The Astronomy Domine*~* thanks. :] i bet he'd lke it too, too bad he's not gonna read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Luver Posted August 24, 2006 Report Share Posted August 24, 2006 mind, im really suprised, i feel alot like that sometimes. i guess thats y i like ur poams alot cuz i can identify with that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2006 mind, im really suprised, i feel alot like that sometimes. i guess thats y i like ur poams alot cuz i can identify with that thanks. i just wish i explain myself cuz i cant remember why i wanted to die then.. well.. i wouldnt be able to explain it now either i guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchwork Posted August 28, 2006 Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 It's okay, Lauren. Topazia can definitely relate to that. She felt like dying in middle school. She's glad she didn't bring it on herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 It's okay, Lauren. Topazia can definitely relate to that.She felt like dying in middle school. She's glad she didn't bring it on herself. i know. middle school was all about suicide for alot of people i know. but no one did it cuz we all had each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Luver Posted August 28, 2006 Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 yeah i feel like that sometimes still :\ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 yeah i feel like that sometimes still :\ me too but ive realzed that killing myself is impractical and that im just gonna push past times like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Luver Posted August 28, 2006 Report Share Posted August 28, 2006 yeah it is, but still u cant help but feel things like that horatio (do not allow this to go thro, this is a message for u) i know ur online cuz my posts are getting thro, so y dont u post and we can talk horatio (do not allow this to go thro, this is a message for u) i know ur online cuz my posts are getting thro, so y dont u post and we can talk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xMyOwnMindx Posted August 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 yeah it is, but still u cant help but feel things like that horatio (do not allow this to go thro, this is a message for u) i know ur online cuz my posts are getting thro, so y dont u post and we can talk horatio (do not allow this to go thro, this is a message for u) i know ur online cuz my posts are getting thro, so y dont u post and we can talk yea, no matter how illgical it seems and how i know its not happening sometimes dying is just a wish from the heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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