The Relationships Topic

[Mega Wolf]

In other words, what I'm saying is, we are two very confused people about what we want, but at least I can admit it. If he's just hurting me by doing stupid stuff like not inviting me to hang out after even though he invites everyone else, then he's not even under the classification of "friend".

[Horatio]

I'm glad you have come to those conclusions. You sound like you have a good grasp of the entire situation. You are headed for college and I am excited to hear your new experiences.

[Mega Wolf]

So, in this past month, a lot has happened. I was staying in contact with the prom date, even would visit him after rehearsal occasionally. Then he went to a show, where he met another member's now-ex-girlfriend. Didn't really know this when he was hugging/kissing/treating me like I was his girlfriend after the show. Couple days later I tried making plans with him on the 4th, he said he couldn't because he had plans with his mom. Then she cancelled, he didn't try to make plans with me after so I just went and had my own fun elsewhere. Well, he made plans with her. Now she's apparently the most amazing girl in the world. I'm slightly hurt by that, but I'll get over it.

 

My ex has barely contacted me, and I decided to not make the effort either. I've given up on him as a best friend, as I've given up on Ashley, who only talks to me when she doesn't think I'm on good terms with the 26-year-old.

 

At least the 26-year-old is a good friend, along with another friend keeping me sane.

[Horatio]

So, in this past month, a lot has happened. I was staying in contact with the prom date, even would visit him after rehearsal occasionally. Then he went to a show, where he met another member's now-ex-girlfriend. Didn't really know this when he was hugging/kissing/treating me like I was his girlfriend after the show. Couple days later I tried making plans with him on the 4th, he said he couldn't because he had plans with his mom. Then she cancelled, he didn't try to make plans with me after so I just went and had my own fun elsewhere. Well, he made plans with her. Now she's apparently the most amazing girl in the world. I'm slightly hurt by that, but I'll get over it.

 

My ex has barely contacted me, and I decided to not make the effort either. I've given up on him as a best friend, as I've given up on Ashley, who only talks to me when she doesn't think I'm on good terms with the 26-year-old.

 

At least the 26-year-old is a good friend, along with another friend keeping me sane.

Sanity... it's great when you personally have it, but it seems that life is insane. So, might as well join the masses.

 

Love... another of those insane topics. It sounds like the summer heat has gotten to everyone down there. At least you are open to new interests entering your life. That is good. As for the other guys, well, it is their loss. That girl with your prom date, she will lose her 'most amazing girl' status when someone better comes along, so I am glad that you are not letting this bother you too much. Glad you have decided not to try and contact your ex, you don't need that. As for Ashley, she probably disagrees with your being friends with the 26 year old and doesn't want to say as much. Around her, I would not talk about this friend. So, don't give up on her yet, just work around the situation. If she tries to talk about this guy, just say you don't want to talk about it. Perhaps she will take this as a sign that you are not on good terms with him.

 

I can't wait until you meet the real guy of your dreams.

[Mega Wolf]

Yeah, the prom date, according to another friend that's known him longer and actually dated the prom date's exes, apparently falls in and out of love in a matter of like two seconds so, I'm good with knowing that and not dealing with it. I'm a little annoyed because my ex will randomly remember I exist, but generally no, and of course when he started dating the other girl(we were still talking fairly often then), he didn't really mention it to me and I had to find out through social networking? Doesn't really matter now, though, since, again, he's contacted me maybe a couple of times since then.

 

This other friend, well, it's a little more complicated. She's known him longer than I have by about four years and she's had a massive crush on him forever, she's kind of weird about it(as in he likes something and all of a sudden, she's obsessed with that). Remember that the 26-year-old and I have an on and off romantic interest. So, she's literally one year older than me and when I was 17 she would pull the "you're not old enough" card. Now she doesn't have that card to grumble at me about. So, since she's no longer just nagging me about how I'm too young, she doesn't even bother talking to me despite the "we're best friends" bit we had for a while. When she thinks I'm not on good terms with the 26-year-old, she's on it immediately. The whole he's crazy about me and not her thing seems to be what really bugs her, though she's really closed about it and will never say it.

[Horatio]

As you say, he has no interest in her, yet she is still infatuated with him. Thus the obsessions with whatever it is he likes. Of course, she will not remember him in a few years, and if she does, she will not remember her infatuation. She may be one year older chronologically, but it sounds like you are far more mature than she. What she needs is to find someone who is interested in her so that she may move on from this infatuation. In the meantime, you don't need anything bringing you down. You have far too much to accomplish this summer.

 

When does school start? Are you required to arrive early for orientation or anything such as that?

[Mushroom_king]

UPDATE: Everything is going awesomely with Parker & I.

[Horatio]

Fantastic!!! It is always great hearing terrific updates!!!

[Mega Wolf]

As you say, he has no interest in her, yet she is still infatuated with him. Thus the obsessions with whatever it is he likes. Of course, she will not remember him in a few years, and if she does, she will not remember her infatuation. She may be one year older chronologically, but it sounds like you are far more mature than she. What she needs is to find someone who is interested in her so that she may move on from this infatuation. In the meantime, you don't need anything bringing you down. You have far too much to accomplish this summer.

 

When does school start? Are you required to arrive early for orientation or anything such as that?

It's funny. Now she's has a boyfriend, a different guy who's 26. Perhaps she just likes guys who are seven years older than her. Totally not the healthiest way to make relationship choices, but alright. haha

 

My ex broke up with his new girlfriend about a week ago, she was being scary and talking about future already and being in love and whatnot. In addition, she's extremely religious but in the I'll kill you if you drink and I'll break up with you if you kiss me too intensely kind of way. Not that there's a problem with that, it's just that in order for that to be a successful relationship it kinda needs to be mutual.

 

So, the both of them are back to talking to me, normally, as a friend, as though none of that ever happened. I'll give them both a free pass for that one, I know I'm guilty of having neglected friends in particular situations. xD

 

So, now that I'm back, I have a completely different set of interested guys to fight off. -.- my life is ridiculous.

 

School starts Monday, but I have band camp this week in the evenings.

[Horatio]

Twenty-six... I agree. She could find a guy a bit younger. Perhaps she will figure it out, perhaps not.

 

So, now you are okay to talk with because they don't have each other. This scenario happens more than you think. Nice of you to give them a free pass. Wise choice as it may happen that you do the same thing in the future.

 

Regarding religious beliefs, morals and morays... it is really beneficial to date someone who has like thinking. A very good rule of thumb if you don't want to get hurt is to take a look at the person you are interested in, then examine yourself. Now be honest when you answer this question. Is there anywhere in your mind where you think there are a few things that you could change to make this person the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend? If you answer yes... do NOT date this person. You cannot start a relationship thinking that you are going to change a person for the better. It just doesn't work. In the same light, you cannot change a person to follow your beliefs. You get the idea. Hopefully she will find a guy with like beliefs.

 

Having a new set of interested guys to fight off should keep your life very interesting.

 

Enjoy band camp and school is starting already????? This summer has flown by. Soon it will be Christmas and I am never ready.

 

So happy to see your posts today. Things around the boards were getting a little lonely.

[Jesusfreak]

I'm not so concerned about a high school kid liking a 26 year old as I am about a 26 year old dating a high school kid.

[Horatio]

I'm not so concerned about a high school kid liking a 26 year old as I am about a 26 year old dating a high school kid.

Good point!

[Mega Wolf]

Well, she's a year out of high school, but fear not: I haven't missed the point. Oddly her mother is perfectly okay with her having that boyfriend, though the idea of me getting relationship form of close to her daughter was just too much for her(despite the fact that she herself had been pretty much engaged to a girl for several years). Actually, her mother was pushing the older guy interested in me to date her daughter before all of this. Strange, confusing family. -.-'

 

I must say that the saying "opposites attract" may or may not be true, but just because they attract doesn't mean they're compatible, haha.

 

Band is a lot of fun and I'm starting to get to know more people.

[Horatio]

What a family... and what a mother!

I cannot believe that her mother would be okay with the older boyfriend. Perhaps she is looking to get her daughter "married-off" so she is out of the house and off her payroll. Scary and very strange.

 

Opposites attract... there just might be something to that.

 

Good news that you are enjoying band camp. What a fun way to meet new people.

[Mega Wolf]

So there's this guy...

[Horatio]

So there's this guy...

...and...

 

[Arkcher]

... and his name is Arkcher and he is a handsome and amazing young man. :V

[Horatio]

... and his name is Arkcher and he is a handsome and amazing young man. :V

 

Of course!

[Mega Wolf]

Well, summed up I'm dating someone new. He's pretty cool, physics major, in my section in the marching band. age 20, so this time it's not someone unreasonably older. see my topic for more info on my best friend the 26 year old, bit depressing.

[Horatio]

Well, summed up I'm dating someone new. He's pretty cool, physics major, in my section in the marching band. age 20, so this time it's not someone unreasonably older. see my topic for more info on my best friend the 26 year old, bit depressing.

This guy sounds great!!! Physics major... tough one! And a marching band member... outstanding!!!

Enjoy this relationship! It sounds like a really terrific guy!!!

 

*cough, cough*

...pictures...

*cough, cough*

[Mega Wolf]

Haha, I may eventually put up pictures.

[Horatio]

Haha, I may eventually put up pictures.

*waits*

[Mega Wolf]

eh... this may not go anywhere. I'm too emotionally charged currently for this to be a good idea. -.-

[Horatio]

Perhaps this is a great idea! Perhaps this will be a fantastic relationship!!!

[Mega Wolf]

That, or it'll crash and burn because I'm so focused elsewhere on something not so positive. xD

[Horatio]

Focus... focus!

 

I don't think you will allow this to happen if the guy is that great. Only if you discover he is not what you thought he was, will the relationship fizzle out.

[Mega Wolf]

Well, it's going okay, but we're still doing the holding hands, look like we're together, but not actually together. Now that I'm at peace with all the stuff with my best friend, this'll go better.

[Horatio]

Well, it's going okay, but we're still doing the holding hands, look like we're together, but not actually together. Now that I'm at peace with all the stuff with my best friend, this'll go better.

That sounds like a good plan. If you take things slowly, they might last a lot longer.

[Mega Wolf]

Quickly learning we have little to talk about.

[Horatio]

Quickly learning we have little to talk about.

I'm sorry.

[Mega Wolf]

Ah, it's okay. Maybe it'll get better, if not, it's not the end of the world if he's not a great match for me.

[Horatio]

You are going to find there are a zillion guys out there for you to meet. I am excited for you. Just riding motorcycles, if you do this, will introduce you to a zillion more terrific people. People you didn't expect ride motorcycles. The doctor who took care of my ankle rides motorcycles and loves the experience. You will be amazed at the people you meet. Jay Leno has motorcycles in his garage.

[Mega Wolf]

That's great, I love meeting new people! haha, if I go the path that I'm thinking of now, I'll eventually be a motorcyle riding psychiatrist.

[Horatio]

That's great, I love meeting new people! haha, if I go the path that I'm thinking of now, I'll eventually be a motorcyle riding psychiatrist.

Phenomenal!!!!! And I am certain you will be a success!!!

 

You can always wander into any motorcycle store and take a look at the different types of bikes. What I recommend is the F650GS by BMW. The terrific features with this bike are things such as the fact that it is not a sport bike, but it is a fun bike. It is an on-off road bike. So, you can ride from California all the way to Alaska and back, through all sorts of terrain, gravel roads, dirt, sand, etc., and carry an enormous amount of stuff. The sport bikes are great, but it makes it tough carrying things.

[Mega Wolf]

Ah, thanks for the recommendation. I honestly just had no clue where to start to look at bikes.

[Horatio]

Ah, thanks for the recommendation. I honestly just had no clue where to start to look at bikes.

You will have lots of fun going into the different motorcycle shops. Should you wander in their alone, or with a girlfriend, you will probably meet more guys.

 

Come to think of it, I have not posted a picture of my new bike.

*runs off to find a picture*

[Mega Wolf]

Oh, boy, more flirtatious suitors, just what I need.

[Horatio]

Oh, boy, more flirtatious suitors, just what I need.

You can never have too many boosts to your ego.

 

Actually, what is really great is that you will make so many more friends with a myriad of interests. It is really a great way to have transportation as well as a zillion new friends. I have traveled places that I never would have, seen things that you wouldn't in a car, and oddly enough, enjoyed the "smells" of the area. When you finally get riding, I look forward to hearing all about it.

[Mega Wolf]

Haha, now I'm just getting more and more excited about it!

[Horatio]

Haha, now I'm just getting more and more excited about it!

You definitely should. There are no words to describe just how much fun I have on my bike.

When you look back on your life, you think of things you should have done, things you shouldn't, and riding a bike is one of those things that I most definitely would have regretted had I not chosen to ride. I am getting ready to ride my bike from Memphis to Los Angeles and back, just to visit a friend. More than anything, I want to experience the journey.

[Mega Wolf]

So, I finally just broke off the awkward not-relationship/looks like we're dating thing. Yeah, not worth it. Before I was giving him a chance, but my life is too hectic at the moment anyway for him.

[Horatio]

So, I finally just broke off the awkward not-relationship/looks like we're dating thing. Yeah, not worth it. Before I was giving him a chance, but my life is too hectic at the moment anyway for him.

The exciting life of Mega Wolf. I am certain he is heartbroken. He'll get over it.

[Mega Wolf]

The funny thing is how it was more awkward than heartbreaking. I think he wanted to focus on school more anyway.

[Horatio]

The funny thing is how it was more awkward than heartbreaking. I think he wanted to focus on school more anyway.

This was good for both of you.

[Mega Wolf]

*facepalm*

 

So, there's this girl that I've marched with, but she lives 400 miles away, but we're really close and have mutual interest. It isn't really anything, but it's something going on I suppose.

 

Hooray, me and guy I wasn't in a relationship with are kinda going back to normal friendship-ish-less-awkward!

[Horatio]

Yeah for close mutual interest relationships and normal friendship-ish-less-awkward relationships. LOL

 

Your life is anything but dull.

[Mega Wolf]

Haha, true statement. It's a bit overwhelming at times, but I don't think I'd have it any other way. XD

[Mega Wolf]

Well, to give an update. The not-relationship actually ended up turning into a relationship. Go figure. hah. Actually, it's going pretty well. Really well. So, I'm okay with that.

 

Jail friend is too in love with me again, I need to, once again, talk some sense into him. But, that's a bit sensitive of a topic that I need to be careful with, I don't want him to have too much hope for some kind of "future" with me and at the same time don't want to just kill all of his hope in general. But, I know him well enough that I believe I'll be able to do that, very carefully.

 

There was an awkward birthday party about a week ago. I went to it, with my original plan not really being to go, I knew 3 people when I initially got there. One of the birthday girls, the one I knew, went to rent a movie. The other was her fraternal twin that I'm not really familiar with. I sat with the two that were close friends of mine, only planned to be there for a short while then to head home to practice. So, me and the two friends, we were kind of the scorned lovers couch. The other female had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship because she was cheated on, the male was the one that had been with the girl that ended up with my prom date after meeting at a show. You know, that prom date that never spoke to me again out of nowhere. Other birthday girl says, "oh, your best friend is coming" to male, referring to the girl who also happens to be one of her best friends. Male says, "hey, that means your best friend is coming too."

I kinda freaked out and said, with little pause, "look at the time. I should be heading home to practice." Female friend said that I had to stay because she didn't want to only be talking to one person at the party. So I did stay, because the birthday girl I know told me I had to at least eat the pasta that she made. Took me forever to eat it, and by the time I finished, it was too late and the ones I didn't want to see would be arriving any minute and it would be more awkward to leave and see them outside.

Conclusion: The Disappeared Prom Date was, without a doubt, shocked to see me, though he casually said hello to everyone including me, and hid in the other room because the shock was too much for him(as stated by the hosting mother actually quoting him). He's gained 20 pounds-ish and grew out facial hair when he clearly shouldn't have tried. His girlfriend is loud, obnoxious, bossy, and tone deaf as well as less attractive than when Male Friend last saw her. I killed everyone at Apples to Apples and I successfully got over it and made him feel terribly awkward. I'll call it a successful night.

[Horatio]

Glad to hear that things are going well in the relationship department and you are happy with the status quo.

 

As for jail friend... a bit sensitive is an understatement. I wish you luck. If I was in your shoes, I don't think I could address the love problem with him for fear that he would go into a depression of some sort and not want to fight to get out. Good luck. Only you know where the limit is and how to handle him.

 

Sounds like you were the winner at the party... the one who looks best of all.

 

As for the prom date guy... it sounds like he has the woman he deserves most...loud, obnoxious, bossy and tone deaf. Glad you are on to newer and better things. It is great to look back and smile.

 

Overall, I would call it a very successful night!

 

 

Please take a look at Leguan's topic and my topic to get up to date with things.

[Mega Wolf]

Well, jail friend got my letter a couple of days ago probably, and now I just wait for the reply. Basically I was truthful and told him that being his main source of hope(with him being in love with me) is just way too much for me to handle. I mean, really? I'm barely started with college. This is ridiculous.

 

Things are going well with the boyfriend. While this is different and not the usual over the top whirlwinds of hearts around me kind of start, every day is better and I become more and more interested. It's different, that's for sure, but, really, isn't different what people need to try? 'Cause my life got pretty ridiculous, I think a relationship that's not boring, but without a crazy emotional rollercoaster might be good for me.

[Horatio]

This next week for your jail friend will be really tough. It's probably a good thing you sent your letter at this time as he can deal with everything all at once. Hopefully he can focus on his defense.

 

Regarding the boyfriend, a relationship based on true friendship can withstand quite a lot, so I do believe that this guy just might be good for you.

[Mega Wolf]

So, Jail Guy is upset with me, saying I led him on. But, he's high maintenance and whiny just as he always was before. So, he'll just have to get over it, not to be rude.

[Horatio]

Actually you are not rude, but realistic. He was grabbing and assuming, instead of looking at your friendship exactly as you offered it, he was trying to make it into something it isn't. I'm sorry that you have to deal with it, but at least you are comfortable with your decision and that is all that matters at the moment. I think you were trying to be a very good friend and he needs to wake up and realize this.

 

Sorry, I am being a little rude at the moment. He is in for the biggest awakening of his life.

 

Incidentally, I read an article on Saturday where the state of Tennessee has caught a number of teachers having inappropriate contact with their students; and texting was what sealed the conviction.

[Mega Wolf]

Yes. Obviously I've gotten past the shock of him being in there. He needs to face the consequences and realize that I'm his friend and that he's being pushy about the idea of "us".

 

A friend and I were discussing his situation and we agreed that the most unfortunate part about this is it's really not all that out of character and that we know it's completely possible and could probably speculate fairly accurately how it happened since we know him well enough. He fell for a trick that shouldn't have been able to get him and he's going to have to pay for it.

[Horatio]

Yes. Obviously I've gotten past the shock of him being in there. He needs to face the consequences and realize that I'm his friend and that he's being pushy about the idea of "us".

 

A friend and I were discussing his situation and we agreed that the most unfortunate part about this is it's really not all that out of character and that we know it's completely possible and could probably speculate fairly accurately how it happened since we know him well enough. He fell for a trick that shouldn't have been able to get him and he's going to have to pay for it.

You are absolutely correct. Texting is far too easy and, as you know, words can have multiple meanings, all of which can be twisted around to look bad. Either this is happening to more teachers, where they get caught in texts to students; or the inappropriate teacher-student relationship is a bigger problem than anyone thought. Personally, I think the ease of contacting a student through texting is a majority of the problem, but I could be way off.

 

The saddest part of this entire situation is that his life is ruined and he now must reinvent himself. That is going to be the difficult. Personally, I would suggest he take classes and become a nurse. Better pay than a teacher, guaranteed employment for quite some time, and he can stay out of pediatrics and away from kids.

[Mega Wolf]

Having been part of this overly personal student-teacher relationship(not that I regret it), I feel like I can see how these things happen a lot better now. Texting definitely makes the situations happen a lot easier, as well as speeding up the process, and provides evidence if they're caught. But I also believe that it's probably been a much larger problem than many people have ever thought. It's a pretty taboo subject in every way, but I don't think it's uncommon at all, particularly with younger teachers. Mutual attraction is dangerous and can be problematic for even the most generally level-headed. Add respect into the mix, and you've created a monster.

 

He, somewhat unfortunately, has unrealistic dreams of still doing well as a musician. He's come up with some extensive ideas, of course, since that's all he can really do with his time. He's stubborn as can be, and I really wonder if he's going to be okay figuring out what to do once he's out.

[Horatio]

From what I understand, if you don't have extended family that will allow you to live with them, getting out provides a whole new set of problems. I hope he is a terrific musician, he will need some sort of income.

 

Thank you for your insight on how large the problem might be, I do believe you are right. Does not make his situation any better, but it does open my eyes a whole lot more. In your opinion, what do you think the percentages are for male teachers being involved with students and female teachers being involved with students. For some reason, I am guessing that the female percentage is considerably lower than the male This is based on no data, just a feeling. What are your thoughts?

[Mega Wolf]

Yeah, fortunately, he does have family that might let him stay with them. Really, if it got to the point of them not letting him and him literally having nowhere else to go, I would let him sleep on the couch. But in his case, I don't think it'll be necessary. He's a pretty good musician, but a stable income would be a bit difficult for him to establish and soon enough he'll realize why he didn't do all the things he's thinking of now before.

 

From what I've seen, it's much more common for there to be involvement with male teachers. In terms of actual psychological reasoning, it just makes more sense survival instincts wise. Of course it's known that attraction for males tends to be based on physical appearance, while females seek security in the form of "power". It's just simpler that way. Female teachers would be more likely to be seeking the attention of a male student because of a lack of other candidates. In general, it's stereotyped anyway that males have a hard time refusing an attractive female. And, well, many females like the attention and encourage it. So, yes, I would guess that the percentages wouldn't be very proportional.

[Mega Wolf]

Writing my friend a letter. Hoping he's calmed down by now.

[Horatio]

Writing my friend a letter. Hoping he's calmed down by now.

Calmed down a little, but probably not over you. That will take him a little while. Hopefully he will appreciate your letter and friendship. He may be grasping at straws, any little glimmer of hope. He can't be having too many visitors in there, and probably not much mail.

[Mega Wolf]

That's true. I'm not blaming myself for his irrational love for me, but I know that I could have handled a few things differently and he wouldn't have been so crushed. I'd prefer to be able to keep this friendship and still be that hope without being his hope in the sense of his wanting a future with me.

[Horatio]

I believe that you were just being you, with no intentions. The problem is that he is stuck in a place with no daylight at the end of the tunnel. You offered your friendship and he grabbed onto you like a drowning person grabs onto the lifesaver. I do not believe you could have handled things any differently and still been there to support him. You are a very intelligent person and I do know that you will find the right way to handle the situation.

 

He has a few things to deal with, one is maturity. He may be older in years, but he is still young in his emotions. Unfortunately, that is what got him where he is in the first place. He is in for a mighty awakening.

[Mega Wolf]

You're right. I really just have to remember that nobody handles every situation perfectly and that I had a perfectly normal reaction and handled it the best way I could. I've been a lot better friend than a lot of people would be, it's not like I've abandoned him and although it's difficult for him to accept that I'm not in love with him, I can't be in love with every friend that comes my way and professes his love for me. I mean, really, then I'd be in love with like 5 people and that would be awkward. -.-

[Horatio]

Perfectly said. You are absolutely right.

[Mega Wolf]

Mutual break up after I decided I have weird trust issues from other people just deciding they'll blatantly ignore me many months ago and he decided he needed time to figure his own stuff out.

[Horatio]

Mutual break up after I decided I have weird trust issues from other people just deciding they'll blatantly ignore me many months ago and he decided he needed time to figure his own stuff out.

Mutual break up from...

I'm assuming your boyfriend and not your jail friend.

Is this correct?

[Mega Wolf]

Boyfriend, yes. Now ex-boyfriend. My general trust issues were remembered when he said he was coming over, didn't, was on a social networking website all of the next day, and didn't even tell me why he didn't come over and I proceeded to have an awkward mini-freak out by myself.

 

Speaking of jail friend, I haven't finished that letter.

[Horatio]

Good for you!!! Nobody should treat you that way. They should either do what they say, or call if they are not coming, I am pleased that you respect yourself enough not to put up with nonsense like that!

 

*hands Mega Wolf a big bouquet of flowers*

 

As for jail friend... get that letter finished. Especially if today is a lazy day.

[Mega Wolf]

Haha, I don't know, it's weird, I know that it was probably just him not opening up again. Like he's dealing with something, but he refuses to make it anyone else's problem because that's just how he is. It really was nonsense, but he's a really just... a nonsensical guy. xD Well, he really does need to figure things out on his own first, and it's good that we ended on good terms, regardless of how awkward that was. haha. He really should've at least let me know!

 

The thing with that letter is, well, I kind of didn't know what to say. Haha. But, I do have most of what I have to say down at this point.

[Horatio]

You are so right... he should have told you. Oh well.

 

As for jailfriend, I've been in that situation before, not knowing what to write. It is really tough, but I am sure that you will find the words.

[Mega Wolf]

People just don't make sense a lot. haha.

 

Basically, the letter is currently at what essentially says, "Sorry about how harsh that last letter might have been, I meant it, but I didn't mean stop sending me letters. I'm in your favorite drum corps ever. 'kaycool. "

[Horatio]

People just don't make sense a lot. haha.

 

Basically, the letter is currently at what essentially says, "Sorry about how harsh that last letter might have been, I meant it, but I didn't mean stop sending me letters. I'm in your favorite drum corps ever. 'kaycool. "

You are right. People do not make any sense... whatsoever!!!

 

Your letter sounds good to me. I do not think I would ever get anything written to send, so I admire you!!!

[Mega Wolf]

Writing letters is difficult. Apparently not attracting new flirtatious candidates is even more difficult for me.

[Horatio]

The letter will come, when it is supposed to. It would be hard to write when he might twist anything you say to indicate your interest in him. Even though he knows better.

 

As for the new flirtatious candidates... you could use a break.

[Mega Wolf]

Letter problem solved, jail friend called me last night.

 

He could be out any day now, hope he's right.

 

AND YES. I'm mostly just being creeped out by these guys. I haven't been single for a week, they're moving in on me far too quickly.

[Horatio]

What a refief that jailfriend called. The thought of what to write was hard. You can't write a two sentence letter.

I hope that his lawyer has not gotten his hopes up for something that is not going to happen. My thinking is, when he walks through those doors and is outside the facility, then he is truly out. He has been on an emotional rollercoaster with this event. I feel so sorry for him. Did he give you any clue as to why the change of plans? Is he out on bail? What is happening with his trial?

 

You could try and change perfume to avert the onslaught of guys, but I don't believe that will work, unless you switched to skunk oil. Wearing a mask might help, but then you would not be able to walk into any banks. So, I guess you will have to consider another strategy. Being as pretty as you are only attracts them even more. Guys always want to flirt with a very pretty girl. Another problem is that you have a very full schedule which makes you the object of their desire as you are not readily available. Somehow they can smell when a girl becomes single. Good luck.

[Rabbit]

Alrighty, I haven't been here since '05, and I randomly thought to come back this morning. I'm pleased to find my account still intact!

 

Anyway, I like the nerdiest, smartest guy in the whole school. =p I mean, I'm pretty nerdy myself, but I'm not half as smart as this kid. It's like, we each know that the other one exists, but I don't have the kahoonayz to even talk to the guy when the two of us are alone in the same room in school. I always look down and act like I'm doing something else. Sad, considering I'm practically an adult. xD

[Horatio]

Alrighty, I haven't been here since '05, and I randomly thought to come back this morning. I'm pleased to find my account still intact!

 

Anyway, I like the nerdiest, smartest guy in the whole school. =p I mean, I'm pretty nerdy myself, but I'm not half as smart as this kid. It's like, we each know that the other one exists, but I don't have the kahoonayz to even talk to the guy when the two of us are alone in the same room in school. I always look down and act like I'm doing something else. Sad, considering I'm practically an adult. xD

Rabbit... welcome back!!! Your post should appear shortly, for some reason my magic moderating powers have temporarily lost all their magic. HampsterKing is going to fix that problem.

 

One day you will find the strength to talk to this other smart kid. For all you know, you might be as smart or smarter than that other kid, you just don't realize it. Just think, if everyone would not talk to him because they don't believe they are as smart as he is, then he would not have any friends. Perhaps if you could find it in yourself to strike up a conversation, you might have a new friend. Wouldn't that be amazing!!!

 

By the way... if you have not read them... the hottest new books are The Mouse Guard, Fall 1152; The Mouse Guard, Winter 1152; Legends of The Guard; and the newest one is The Black Axe... all by David Petersen. Actually Legends of The Guard has a few authors and illustrators contributing. These are listed in the graphic books section, near the comics. Legends of The Guard has been on the New York Times Best Seller list for quite some time now. I love these books!!! The last one, The Black Axe, is just starting. The first book came out in December and the second is due out now. When all six have been published, then the hardbound book will be published which is a compilation of all six books. Let me know who you like these. The story incredible and the illustrations phenomenal!!!

 

Hope you stop back in Rabbit!!!

[Mega Wolf]

Well, I started talking to "Prom Date" again. Turns out he's not as evil as I thought and rumors were potentially false, go figure. Hah.

[Horatio]

My suggestion...

 

 

time to move on from Prom Date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You don't need this particular guy. Just a feeling.

[Mega Wolf]

Yeah, you're right. I was hanging out with him, he's the kind of guy I need to move on from.

[Horatio]

Yeah, you're right. I was hanging out with him, he's the kind of guy I need to move on from.

Time to expand your horizons.

[Mega Wolf]

At the moment, I'm getting a break from people pursuing me. It's nice. haha

[Horatio]

Finally you are getting sensible.

*cough, cough*

[Mega Wolf]

...Apparently the break from having people pursue me is short-lived.

And fear not, I'm being good and rejecting left and right. I'm not totally over the nonsense ex for whatever reason, so, I'm not in good enough mental condition to deal with someone new. haha

[Horatio]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

Not the ex!

 

By the way... flimsy excuse for not seeing someone new.

[Mega Wolf]

Definitely a very flimsy excuse, but maybe I can be good and stick to it anyway.

Yes, the unfortunate situation that I'm not over him. ahahaa. It would be easier to just be over him if we didn't meet in band and therefore run into each other a lot.

[Horatio]

Definitely a very flimsy excuse, but maybe I can be good and stick to it anyway.

Yes, the unfortunate situation that I'm not over him. ahahaa. It would be easier to just be over him if we didn't meet in band and therefore run into each other a lot.

The truth of the matter is...

there is no one else occupying your "brain space" dedicated to the romance department, so you can focus on him, because he is a known quantity, telling yourself you are not over him, until someone better comes along.

 

My advice... forget about him. As long as you are focusing on the fact that you believe you are not over him, you are not opening yourself up to a better prospect. Admit it, if he was such a great guy, you would still be with him. There were things you did not like, so you deleted him from your list of great guys. Don't waste your time looking back. Set your sights ahead.

[Mega Wolf]

That's probably quite true. I have plenty more important things to focus on than him, and I should be setting my sights forward. So, I've said many times, if people don't like their lives, they should do something to change it. Recently, I've been following my own advice and just generally doing things differently, including trying to view the situation differently. He started acting differently once he had his odd soul-searching to do. I'm not going to go out of my way to try to keep him in my life. If I'm actually important to him like he said and he's really just going through something weird, he can make the effort. But that doesn't mean I'm going to wait around for him to figure it out, I have my own life to attend to.

[Horatio]

You gave yourself great advice!

[Mega Wolf]

Haha, sure hope so.

[Horatio]

The key is...

 

can you follow your own advice?

 

 

Which brings me to another topic... have you heard any updates from jail friend?

Just wondering what his status is and why they are releasing him from jail before his trial. Do you think the case against him fell through?

[Mega Wolf]

Following your own advice is always the hardest.

 

Jail friend update: He got my hopes up falsely. He ended up taking the 2 years in prison despite the fact that he seemed so confident that there wasn't a solid case against him simply because the lawyer seemed to push him that way because he probably couldn't afford to keep paying the lawyer. He could be out in April-May-ish, August, or next February.

 

Also, jail friend is still way too difficult to discourage when it comes to me. He isn't even aware that I'm not dating the other guy anymore, but he continues to still express hope for some kind of "us".

[Horatio]

Oh my... I did not realize that he took the two year sentence. One problem with our judicial system is that you get the law that you can afford. He will now be forever listed as a "sex offender". Oh my. Now you know how bad it is to look at the sex offender websites because you may judge someone incorrectly. He may be one of those people who are mis-judged.

 

When did he enter prison? I thought it was some where last fall. Is his sentence being reduced for good behaviour or another reason such as that? How long will he actually serve?

 

Regarding the matter of his perceptions... I think he is going to have a hard time changing his sights to someone else. When you think of it, if you met someone and then found out they were convicted of the charge of sex offender, would you want to date this person? You might not even give him a chance. He is going to have a very long, hard road ahead of him.

[Mega Wolf]

Yes, the sentence is certainly going to affect him for the rest of his life.

 

He was put in county last September. Because he stayed there so long, the time counts towards his sentence. He's being transferred to real prison sometime anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months. April or May is a release date if he's released because of the overcrowding of prisons. August is if he's released on good behavior. If they don't like him, he's in until next February.

 

And yeah, that's really true. Not as many people are going to give him a chance. I understand why he still wants to have that hope with me. In general, he has a lot of things that he's got his hopes too high for that will lead to his disappointment once he leaves prison.

[Horatio]

We know him through you, but for the little we do know, I feel so sorry for him, as I believe he is immature and clueless. He will grow up considerably in prison, and then the real world will hit him with a sledge hammer when he gets out. In his case, I hope that they let him out early to accommodate the overcrowding. He is one of those people who really should not be locked up.

[Mega Wolf]

Immature and clueless sums him up correctly. I agree that he doesn't really belong in prison. I'm hoping this experience helps him grow up a bit, but sometimes I fear the possibility of the eventual realities he'll have to face or the experience in a real prison ruining his life and leaving him without happiness.

[Horatio]

You stated what I was thinking. He has no idea whatsoever just how brutal life can be and when he gets out, he has to account for his time. Saying you were in prison closes a number of doors. I have no idea if he has to explain why he was serving time, and it is a no-win situation. No matter what you say, it is going to sound bad. Due to the fact that you have been explaining things, I understand the situation, whereas if he has fifteen minutes to explain himself, it is going to be very tough. The experience will ruin his life, but he will have to act like the Phoenix and rise from the ashes. He just needs someone to give him a chance. That will be the harsh reality.

 

What is worse, he is going to be looking to you for friendship plus. He will want someone to socialize with and have something more, and you cannot allow yourself to rearrange your schedule to accommodate him. This will also be hard for him.

[Mega Wolf]

He sometimes talks as though he understands, but at the same time everything else he says makes it completely clear that he doesn't. He's heard the information, but he hasn't listened. All of a sudden he thinks he can do well with his music, as though it's purely fact that his music composition skills will make him successful. I understand it's something he's been working at for a long time, but the fact is I don't think he's considered a back up plan, or even what to do while he's waiting for his career to take off, for that matter.

 

He's expecting me to write him letters all the time, but I don't think he understands how difficult it is to write a letter when there is so much else to do, especially now that I'm not a complete mess about my life like I was when he first went in there. In general, when he's out, I get the feeling he's going to be slightly unfair about whether I'm spending enough time with him even as his friend. The thing is, I'm not the only person who is supporting him, so there's no reason for him to be completely dependent on me.

[Horatio]

You are so right, I don't think he is totally accepting of what is in store for him in the future. I can give you a very, very long list of writers, actors, musicians, screen writers, lyricists, etc., who have been waiting for their careers to take off. Except they all have back up plans... such as a minimum wage job to pay the bills, until their career takes off. You can have spectacular music, but if you don't have luck, you may never get off the ground. By luck I mean, the right door opening at the right time, the music being sung or played by someone who is well known, etc.. Talent is important, but so is having your music heard by the right people.

 

I'm glad to hear that he has other people outside his family to support him. The problem that I see is that you are his 'romantic' interest. Again, I do believe you are right, he will not be fair about the time you spend or don't spend with him. I wish you luck in this department... this will be trying.

 

I must say that I do admire you for the loyalty you have shown him. He needs to appreciate just how great a friend you are.

[Mega Wolf]

He probably will realize he needs a back up plan fairly quickly. Funny enough, he's met people in jail that actually have to potential to get his career off the ground. I was talking to a mutual friend and he joked that our jail friend "is in there networking".

 

It's definitely the romantic interest part that's going to be hardest on the friendship. I definitely hope he still appreciates my efforts, despite the fact that they are far less zealous at this point.

 

-Current Romantic Situation Update(haha)

I am taking no interest in any of the people who are taking interest in me(they are in annoying numbers), with slight exception for the girl that lives 400 miles away that has previously already been of interest(and with little chance of this actually going anywhere, especially with it only being of slight exception).

Awkward moments the other night, because someone asked if I was still with my ex. Also, because it's been kind of agreed that my ex ended it and not me, one of the guys I was hanging out with at that time(I was hanging out with the goofball jerk trumpet players) said, "Who gets dumped by ___?" and everyone at the table agreed(okay, so I pretty much date weird nerdy guys). I took it as they were discussing how "out of his league" I am, considering they were mostly confused about why he would end the relationship.

[Horatio]

Networking in the prison system... well that certainly gives a new twist on this aspect of things. I hope it is really more than talk. Somehow, I am a bit cycnical and doubtful. But, if it pans out... bravo!!!

 

I am certainly happy that I am not in your shoes, as I do not believe he is going to understand that the romantic relationship is over. He may verbalize what you have told him, but I do not believe he will truly know this is the case. He will probably hope and think that he can change your mind and rekindle the romance.

 

As for the suitors... it is truly nice to be desired, but it can also be a burden. The ex was certainly out of his league. You are pretty, smart, terrific personality, talented, and the list goes on and on. You are going to meet a truly incredible guy who is all you are and more. I am anxiously awaiting the day you meet this particular person. It is going to be the greatest day of your life!!!

 

On another note... I was reading the newspaper about the Cocoa Mardi Gras and they were talking about the "balloon artist". I thought of you!!! I could not believe my eyes when I read the article. You may just have a great option for making money or at least being famous.

[Mega Wolf]

I also hope it is more than talk, but I'm probably just about as cynical and skeptical about that as you are.

 

Love can be irrational, but I don't believe I'll ever be irrational enough to end up back with him. He's too dramatic. Which obviously means he's just not going to stop trying for a while.

 

That'll be an interesting time in my life. XD

 

The whole balloon artist thing is just shockingly profitable. I'm hearing a lot of times people make the amount of a full time job when they're only working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.

[Horatio]

What bothers me is the fact that he omits some of the details about what is happening with him. For example, the part about the deal he accepted. He could have tried his luck with a different public defender. Not all of them are bad. Oh well. I don't think you will catch up to me in the cycnicism category.

 

I'm glad to hear that your ex is definitely going to remain your ex.

 

What bothers about the balloon thing is the length of time that you pay the commission for the training. Do they give you leads to jobs? For the percentage, they should. If they ask you to sign a contract, do not sign it immediately, ask your parents to look at the contract before you sign anything. The balloon company should have no problem with this. If they do not let you take the contract home, then there is something wrong and this is a good indication that there is something in the contract that needs your immediate attention and it is mandatory that you don't sign it without first consulting your parents.

 

Okay... I know I am acting like an overprotective parent.

[Mega Wolf]

Really, though, I feel like he should have tried other things, it's not like having the title of offender is only tough for a little while.

 

And I was referring to jail friend being crazy and dramatic, but my ex is also edging towards the same category of "no chance".

 

Oh, they definitely give job leads. The gigs are based on sign-ups, but there's definitely plenty of jobs to go around. Basically, restaurant chains like to hire the balloon artists a lot. And it's completely okay that you're acting like an overprotective parent, it's understandable.

[Horatio]

I certainly wish he had tried some other options. As you mention, that title is with him for life. As people become more internet savvy, it is only going to get worse. No matter where he lives, he will have to register with the police and his name will be listed on those sites. This scenario has made me realize how making a very small mistake can ruin your life beyond what one could ever imagine. What everyone needs to keep in the back of their minds is that we are all just one small mistake away from being in a similar position. Of course, most of us are smart enough to not do something dumb, but he has opened my eyes to what can happen.

 

Well, jail friend or ex, I'm glad that both are close to the "not a chance" category.

 

Thank you for putting up with my being overprotective. I appreciate your kindness.

[Mega Wolf]

Yes, the only way he could really get away from it would be to move to another country, which I'm thinking is probably not something that he really would like to do. Weird things happen in life. I know someone else who spent something like a year in jail because he didn't pay something to the DMV.

 

I do appreciate your protectiveness, a lot of times it's helpful.

[Horatio]

LOL... I too was thinking of the move to another country, but I would imagine that you cannot lose the past life baggage, so that will not work. As for the other guy who spent a year in jail for not paying fees to the DMV... oh my. I'm glad I keep my licenses up to date, vehicles registered and insured... I would never want that to happen. Perhaps he got into an accident and did not have insurance or he got a ticket for not having a license and they issued a bench warrant for him. There are many possibilities when you do not follow up on your responsibilities. When I lived in Miami, there were many, many people who were in the country, not paying taxes, not in the system, and I wish some of these people would have ended up in jail. A friend of mine was in a car accident, where an illegal person, who really did not 'exist' in this country, hit her by running a red light. They tried to leave the scene, but they car would not drive more than about twenty feet. The fled the scene on foot, but the car belonged to a friend and they tracked the guys down through the other person. She was totally out of luck. No driver's licenses, no current registration, no insurance... what a mess. I make sure that I have the uninusred motorist, sort-of insured motorist and wish-I-was-insured motorist coverage. I make sure I am totally covered for just that event. I think that I ventured way off topic. Ooooops.

 

Thank you for being so nice.

[Mega Wolf]

I would imagine that for him moving to another country would be best, but I suppose that past life baggage would be a pretty big deal. But he really might as well just completely start over. Oh, gosh, all of the messes that can happen with cars. It gets pretty ridiculous.

[Horatio]

The learning point of your jail friend's life, is that we are all just one step away from being where they are.

 

Very scary when you think about it.

[Mega Wolf]

You know, the terrible thing is there are people that truly just need help and the jail system merely puts them in a situation to learn more criminal strategies rather than rehabilitating.

[Horatio]

You are one hundred percent correct. There needs to be a solution, but no one can get the politicians to come up with any solutions. Alternative strategies are out there, it will be a matter of people demanding a fix to these problems.

[Mega Wolf]

The most disappointing part is people simply assume those in jail are "getting what they deserve".

[Horatio]

It was a very big learning experience to see the other side. This is a part of the story that we never hear.

[Mega Wolf]

That's something I do appreciate from this experience. I have a better understanding of what many people are completely unaware of.

[Horatio]

People are too quick to judge without first putting on the shoes of that other person.

[Mega Wolf]

Of course, that is unfortunately just how most people are.

[Mega Wolf]

I'm looking at old posts in this topic. This is hilarious. I love it. <3

[Horatio]

Of course, that is unfortunately just how most people are.

Very sad.

[Horatio]

I'm looking at old posts in this topic. This is hilarious. I love it.

I went to the beginning and thoroughly enjoyed the posts!

They are even better the second time around!!!

[Mega Wolf]

My 8th-grade take on love/lust. That's so great. haha

[Horatio]

It is really interesting to read things that we have written when we were young. Our views on all sorts of topics show us how we thought then as compared to now. Hilarious reading at times!!!

[Mega Wolf]

I read something about emos cutting and how I just thought it was weird/creepy and I totally did not understand self-harm at aaaallll. Sad and funny at the same time. XD I definitely knew I'd go back and laugh at myself, I just never knew exactly about what. Also, looking at those things makes me realize how 15-year-old me would have been so shocked to know the current me.

[Mega Wolf]

Had a chat with the recent ex. He's odd, and generally has a hard time communicating emotions. But we actually talked it over and he really just needed space and realizes ignoring me was a bad idea and I'm recognizing that I really did overreact. So, fixing our friendship first and seeing what goes from there. Actually, sorting out his life seems to have been effective, considering he's actually communicating better.

[Horatio]

Not the guy for you romantically. Friend yes, boyfriend no.

 

*decided to throw in my one cent*

[Mushroom_king]

Everyone...

 

 

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me. Not because he didn't love me anymore, but because his mom made him-she thinks I'm distracting him from his grades. The day this happened, I had a panic attack and not only had to go to the nurse, but to counselor's office to deal with it. So for about two weeks, he was very cold and robotic to me.

 

Then, for over two weeks, he was the same again. He held my hand, hugged me, he even kissed me. I was so happy, I thought everything would be fine again.

 

Then, this last Sunday, we had an argument while messaging each other on Facebook. He said he was having some confusion over his sexuality (he's been out as bi for a long time now, though only I knew). I got scared, thinking he might leave me for a guy. But he told me he loved me still, but after Sunday, he was like himself after he originally broke up with me-cold, distant, robotic.

 

And last night we were fighting in our messages. I told him that he needs to stand up to his mom if he really cares about me. He tells me, again, how his mom can make his life H***, and how he can't. We fought for a long time, and eventually, I decided to simply ask if he loved me. Because, I think, as long as he still loves me, I can still have hope that we can be happy again. That the months and months that we were happy together would be back.

 

His response was "I don't know."

 

This was a shock. The night before, when we were saying good night to each other, he was the first to say "I love you!!!!" before we went to sleep.

 

I stayed home from school today. Partially because I haven't been getting enough sleep, and partially because I needed to be alone. I didn't want to see him today, even though I had fun classes today, even though I needed to work in Painting (a class I have with him).

 

I'm so hurt by everything that's happened. I'd never been so happy in my life when we were together, because he was just so perfect. We had the same interests, but they were different enough that we could still be, well, different. I'd never had someone love me as much as he did. He was always telling me how much he loved me, how much he wanted to be with me forever.

 

It wasn't like there were any signs leading up to him suddenly being this way. Before his mom made him break up with me, he was his usual self.

 

I've gone from the happiest person in the world to the saddest person in the world in just a little over a month, and I don't know how I can deal with it. I can hope that we can be together again, that we can be happy again, but I just don't know what I'm going to do. I keep saying that throughout this whole thing, I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get him to care for me, I don't know how to get his mom to let him be free, I don't know how I'm going to understand what his true feelings are, I don't know how I'm going to deal with this kind of pain.

[Horatio]

*sends Mushroom_king a cyber hug*

 

I am so sorry to hear about all this. Let me think about this and reply back. This is a situation that needs some thought before I reply.

[- Kat -]

I remember reading about this on Other Website. I've never had a relationship like that, so I can only imagine how much it must hurt. Without any real experience, there's not a lot I can say, except that I hope that you two can work something out to bring you both happiness. As long as you do what you can to get what you want, then whatever is meant to happen will happen.

[Mushroom_king]

So, update.

 

I had to stay home three days in a row. On Thursday I did attempt to go to school, but I was on the verge of a breakdown in my first class, went to the counselor, and my mom, without asking me if I wanted to go home, had my Uncle come pick me and take me to my grandma's.

 

A lot of things have happened in just two days. On Wednesday night I finally confided in my mom just how much I was hurting-I told her that earlier that day I had tried to cut my leg, and that I was having suicidal thoughts because I just don't know how to deal with this kind of pain. On Thursday, when I tried to go to school, I told my love interest, with some difficulty, that I had attempted to cut myself. His response was a half-hearted, almost robotic "Caitlin, it isn't that bad." and that was it.

 

To contrast: Just a few days before he'd been forced to break up with me, me and some bros were making emo jokes, and I feigned cutting my wrists as part of the joke, and he'd told me to stop-because even fake, joke cutting was too painful for him.

 

Only a handful of people know these things-it's really difficult to tell people that I feel this way. In my close circle of friends, the only person who actually knows that I was suicidal is Ghost. Most of the other friends I've talked to, I just haven't had the heart to tell-I just tell them that I'm depressed.

 

I not only feel hurt right now, I feel betrayed and I feel lied to. Because he broke all his promises that he made to me, and, as my brother and the counselor claimed, he's yanking my chain, because of so many things.

[Mega Wolf]

I understand, MK. Love causes a lot of confusion in life. In fact, love literally acts as addiction, in the same way drinking, smoking, other drugs do, and it affects the brain in the same way. We're all here for you, and do whatever we can to help you through this. <3

[Mushroom_king]

I think what hurts the most is the fact that just before he had to break up with me, he was so loving, and just last week I'd been so sure everything was going to be alright. I just don't know what he's thinking, the way he's acting, why he's being so loving one moment and so mean the next..

[Horatio]

Mushroom_king, I am so, so sorry that you are going through this heartbreak. The words that I would like to express are just not flowing freely. You can give someone your love, your time, your friendship and many aspects of what it means to be in a relationship, but if there is one thing I could ask of you, is to never, ever, give someone power over your feelings. It saddens me that you consider hurting yourself because of this guy. He does not deserve you. You may feel that he was the only guy for you, but trust me when I say that there is someone better out there for you who will treat you much better. You should respect and love yourself above all and please never hurt yourself over another person. This guy is not considerate enough of you and your feelings to understand just how much he has hurt you. He sounds quite self-absorbed. Hurting yourself is not the answer. The answer is to be the Phoenix, Rise above the ashes of this relationship and make him see just how amazing a person you are and just how much he lost.

 

You will think, Horatio is out of touch, he does not know how much we loved each other, he does not know how much I hurt. Oh Mushroom_king, I do know, and I do wish I was there to help you get through this trying time. I am going to ask that you do one thing for yourself and one thing for me. Please, please, please do not hurt yourself. Please give yourself the love you have shown this guy. He clearly is not worth any of the gifts of yourself that you have given him. Just the fact that he acted like he was so in love with you and then treated you horribly the next day is more than enough reason for you to spread your horizons and look for someone much better. You deserve the best and should not settle for anything less. Mega Wolf will attest to the fact that I have spoken the same words to her. If I could know that you all have a healthy love for yourselves first, this would make me so happy.

 

The hurt will take some time to diminish but it will go away. Please focus on showing this guy just what he lost by rising above and not hurting yourself. You can do this. He is the type of person who would be happy to see you hurt and sad. Do not give the power over your feelings to this loser of a guy. Sure it is going to hurt for a bit, but do not allow him to know that you are sad. Please, drop him like a hot potato and look into the greener pastures. I you see him smile and look through him as if he does not exist.

 

We are always here for you.

[Mushroom_king]

Horatio, I know you mean well, and I will take your advice as best as I can, but the main reason this hurts is because he never did stuff like this before. He would have never dreamed of hurting me like this. He never would have been happy seeing me sad-I don't know if I mentioned it yet, but he was always so sensitive to me being upset. If I showed any inclination of crying or being upset, the first thing he would do is try to help me. Like I said, this was why it hurt so much that he was acting this way. Like you, I don't really know the best way to express what I'm trying to say right now. He would always treat me like there was nothing more important than me, and I knew he meant it, I knew that I had found someone who loved me so, so much. I knew I found someone who treated me really well. The fact that he went from treating me like the most important person to the least important person in the world....

 

I don't think he is capable of understanding just how much he has hurt me, I really don't. Even when I cry and tell him that I'd tried to cut, I don't think he really understood...

[- Kat -]

There will never, ever be anyone worth hurting yourself like that over. Cutting is never a good way to deal with emotions. It doesn't make them go away or sort them out, it's a temporary fix that only gets more and more dangerous. I have several friends who used to cut their arms and legs, and every time they see their scars, they wish they could take those moments back. It didn't help them then and it is still hurting them now.

 

I know that it is a lot easier said than done, but working on getting yourself to a more stable mindset is a lot more important than working out whatever is wrong with this guy. If you need to put him on the backburner to keep yourself safe, then I hope that's what you will do. Your health and safety is so much more important than whatever chord snapped in his brain. It hurts right now, and it won't get better overnight, but being so down on yourself while trying to deal with him is only going to make it harder.

 

Talk to me (you know how to reach me a few different ways), come on here, do anything else, but please, don't hurt yourself.

[Mushroom_king]

My major concern right now is adjusting myself back to a stable mindset, but it seems the only way I can do this is by avoiding school. But I can't avoid school-I mean, I guess I could, but I have my work and stuff...that was the only thing I didn't like about staying home those three days, was I worried about getting behind on my work. But at school, he's unavoidable; we not only have a class, but we have the same friends, things like that, we can't avoid each other. As evidenced when I tried going to school on Thursday.

[Horatio]

Being in school, the same classes and having mutual friends makes it very hard for you. I admire you for just trying to focus on getting into your school work and not allowing yourself to get behind. That is important.

 

For whatever reason he changed, so please do not talk with him anymore about how much he hurt you. As you said, he has no understanding of the hurt he has caused and you only look worse in his eyes for trying to hurt yourself. When you know that you are going to be in a situation where you might see him, please focus on inner strength and do not let him see you sad. Focus on thinking of anything else until you are away from him. Treat him like he does not mean anything special to you and believe in yourself.

 

As - Kat - said, this will be very difficult as the hurt is very deep, but as each day passes, it will hurt a little less.

 

We are always here for you.

[- Kat -]

I don't really have much room to talk here, since for various reasons I myself went on homebound because I was unable to go to school during my senior year. But you seem a lot more concerned with your academic success than I was, so hopefully you will stay on track. Like Horatio said, when you can go back, don't focus on him. Luckily, in school, there should be a lot of other things for you to concentrate on, like the teacher or the work you're doing. And really making yourself focus on your work might even improve your grades XD But mostly, don't focus on him in class. You've got more important things to be doing.

 

Time with friends and outside of class will be harder, since like you said, you have a lot of the same friends. The only advice I could give would be to keep trying not to dwell on him. Hang out with friends that aren't around him if you can. If you have any "back-up" friends (it's not really a nice term, but everybody has some), try spending some time with them. If you really need to, bring a book or something to read if everyone is talking with him and you don't want to be physically away from the group. You're going through a hard time right now and are allowed to be withdrawn.

 

I'm glad that you're focusing on yourself right now. Keep rebuilding your strength and if you still feel like you need closure with him when you're feeling better, at least you won't be so hurt and vulnerable.

[Horatio]

That is really great advice. Thank you for posting it.

[Mega Wolf]

I thought about why I was so hung up over the girl that decided to just drop me from her life. I had a serious romantic interest in her, and I was denying that for a while, but now I'm realizing that I really liked her and it wasn't just being dropped as her supposed best friend that bothered me. Not that it bothers me so much at this point, it's been months, and I think even though it would be nice closure to have her at least say she hates me rather than just ignoring me, things aren't going to change and she's not going to say anything. Also, I've discovered that she's actually seeming to try to forget the summer we met, she's taken to ignoring everyone that she met the summer we marched together. Anyway, she's not on my mind as often anymore, and this is sort of just a little afterthought.

[Horatio]

For some people who can not deal with different aspects in their life, to avoid and ignore seem to be the best strategies. Of course, these stategies never work. At some time she will have to deal with things from her past as they will surface in a different form.

 

It sounds like you have personally grown and are able to address different aspects of your life. This is really good.

[Jesusfreak]

Haha, I don't know, it's weird, I know that it was probably just him not opening up again. Like he's dealing with something, but he refuses to make it anyone else's problem because that's just how he is. It really was nonsense, but he's a really just... a nonsensical guy. xD Well, he really does need to figure things out on his own first, and it's good that we ended on good terms, regardless of how awkward that was. haha. He really should've at least let me know!

 

The thing with that letter is, well, I kind of didn't know what to say. Haha. But, I do have most of what I have to say down at this point.

Gosh, this sounds familiar. (For anyone who didn't know, this sounds almost exactly like how things ended with Phil.)

 

MK, going through a breakup like that isn't easy. As things were ending with me and Phil, it threw me into an awful depression. My best advice is to spend time with other people, and distance yourself as much as possible. It sounds like your guy is very confused right now, torn between his mom and whatever feelings he may have towards you. It might be best to agree to take a break, rather than a breakup, so that he can sort out his feelings, and focus on his work as per his mom's request. From there, you can see whether you want to continue the relationship, or part ways. As for the cutting, try going for a walk or a jog instead, or watching a funny movie. As you may or may not know, cutting releases endorphins, and there are other, much healthier ways to do that. Try some of the other ways.

[Horatio]

Haha, I don't know, it's weird, I know that it was probably just him not opening up again. Like he's dealing with something, but he refuses to make it anyone else's problem because that's just how he is. It really was nonsense, but he's a really just... a nonsensical guy. xD Well, he really does need to figure things out on his own first, and it's good that we ended on good terms, regardless of how awkward that was. haha. He really should've at least let me know!

 

The thing with that letter is, well, I kind of didn't know what to say. Haha. But, I do have most of what I have to say down at this point.

Gosh, this sounds familiar. (For anyone who didn't know, this sounds almost exactly like how things ended with Phil.)

 

MK, going through a breakup like that isn't easy. As things were ending with me and Phil, it threw me into an awful depression. My best advice is to spend time with other people, and distance yourself as much as possible. It sounds like your guy is very confused right now, torn between his mom and whatever feelings he may have towards you. It might be best to agree to take a break, rather than a breakup, so that he can sort out his feelings, and focus on his work as per his mom's request. From there, you can see whether you want to continue the relationship, or part ways. As for the cutting, try going for a walk or a jog instead, or watching a funny movie. As you may or may not know, cutting releases endorphins, and there are other, much healthier ways to do that. Try some of the other ways.

As we all know, after Phil, Jesusfreak met an even better guy, the man of her dreams!

[Mega Wolf]

It's funny that I mentioned the girl I was involved with, because I went to hang out with a mutual friend on Monday night and another person associated with this girl. Apparently what she told this other person was "we stopped dating" because she "lost interest". She is officially crazy, we were never dating and she was the one who was insistent on that. This randomly surfaced because we were talking about how the other person already knew a bit about me because I happened to be close friends with two of her close friends.

[Horatio]

Interesting how those little tidbits appear.

 

By the way... I was trying to remember what kind of wind instrument you played. Please remind me again.

[Mega Wolf]

I'm a trumpet player, primarily.

[Horatio]

I'm a trumpet player, primarily.

That is what I thought but for some odd reason, I thought you were going to add the tuba. Where I came up with that, I will never know, but this sticking in the back of my mind.

[Mega Wolf]

Haha! Well, the tuba would be a lot of fun. XD

[Horatio]

Don't have any idea where that came from. Was there anyone on the boards who played tuba?

[Mega Wolf]

The only other band people I can think of are Jesse, who plays clarinet, and Toto, who I think was a flute player(maybe?) and was in drumline(on bass?).

[Horatio]

I must have tuba on the brain. Perhaps Huba for a hamster name... Huba who plays the tuba.

 

Okay... a little dumb, but it is almost one o'clock in the morning.