i lied, here i'll pour my thoughts again

[xMyOwnMindx]

i'm perfectly happy

with a sick twisted frown

on my acne prone face

oh the pain of living

you wouldnt get this

my limbs are weaker than my soul

i can hardly pull myself through the day

i wish i could lay in bed forever

and rot

die from starvation

somthing with pain

so i can feel the way i should

in my last moments of life

i'll cry and hope and wish that someone will take me up

release my soul from this disgusting body

my lack of self control sickens me

yet i found myself eating those issues away

and looking for the bleach to wash it down the sink

its like the things you never wished for are everything you are

and before you can realize it you are alone and cold.

your body shivers but yet you sit for hours without moving

like bipolar opposites you feel ADD and cant sit still

you know you're alive things like that

but you fidget and cry to stay sane

they look at you with sympethy

thinking you broke up with someone

or your just sick

not knowing your heart is scarred and your mind is exploding

with the thoughts you never dare to tell them

its all so pointless anyway

they cant save you

unless you want to be saved

i want to break

i say it alot now

i need to know the bottom to work back up

with retricting friends and restricting time zones

the bottom seems so far away/

they tell you thats how they started

and they look at you with judging eyes

with thoughts you've done more than you have ever

and thoughts of things that scare you and make you turn away

with that little smile on your face

making them think it's true

your doomed to their thoughts

and they can never be read

even though you think you can somtimes.

this impossiable feeling

of doubt and hatred

left you sitting and staring again

what else is there to do.

i dont believe in your ways

you can put them where the sun dont shine

i hate you

you make me sicker than i make myself.

i never wanted your analyzing eyes sizing me up

making me tear

i never asked for help

i was ratted on

i trusted people

and they stabbed me square in the back

and they lied too.

becuase i can read that sick look on your face

when you've said things you've regretted

and ive forgiven you

because you mean so much to me

but how many times can i let this happen to me?

surely not 3.

i'd be a fool.

i wont take this anymore

and i think you saw that

when i walked out your office

with that look across my eyes

and i hope its never about me

when their phones ring off the wall

i pray you move to Hades

everytime i walk to my destination

i'm glad you got the point

becuase i think i'd hit you if you tried to speak to me

i hate when you ask me how things are..

theyre terrible like always

could you not?

i hate when you think i havnt eaten

i dont like to eat

i dont need to gain any weight

do you have eyes?

you say its for the better

i dont want that better

lets dig my grave together

i want to be put in there

cold and alone

happy finally

i hope they paint my face

prettier then i ever could

and place a tiny smile on my face

for pure happiness

yet i will be sad

knowing i left you when you needed to escape too

how could we betray them all

and be so selfish?

scar the hearts of the many

and laugh and dance into the tradgey of our minds.

<3

 

...and she'd fall back and scream out:

Come back to me, this is unconceivable

Breaking apart the ones you love

Hate runs deep for what you've done to us

Left alone through suicide...suicide

 

I just want to die, take away my life

lay by your side, please...

[Topazia]

*is speechless*

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

[Horatio]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

well i guess i just talk becuase id wish to stay sane.

if people like it, thats pretty chill by me.

[Topazia]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

[Horatio]

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

Next three letters... ent ?

potent....

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

[Horatio]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

im not usre how we got into words or wutever but it's potential. which i cant spell.

[Horatio]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

im not usre how we got into words or wutever but it's potential. which i cant spell.

Perfect spelling.

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

im not usre how we got into words or wutever but it's potential. which i cant spell.

Perfect spelling.

sweet. haha

but potential to do wut..

write betterrr?

[Topazia]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

im not usre how we got into words or wutever but it's potential. which i cant spell.

Perfect spelling.

sweet. haha

but potential to do wut..

write betterrr?

No, you write amazingly now. Yeah, you can improve, but everyone has room for improvement. You have the potential to do anything your heart dreams of. Writing is one of your talents. You could utilize your rare skill to impact the world and change something you don't like. I'm planning on changes the policies on child abuse with my literary skills. Dave Pelzer (A Child Called It) is one of my literary heroes. He had the courage to reveal secrets from his childhood that I have never been able to divulge to my closest friends. He published the books (four so far) with the knowledge that someone would read them and try to do something about it.

 

That's my goal.

Have a goal. You can do whatever you want with your life. You have the support of countless friends that you may not realize you have. I can tell you that anyone on HD who reads your work enjoys it. We all would love to see you succeed in life.

 

Ciao gotta help w/ the little ones!

[xMyOwnMindx]

*is speechless*

oh shhhs.

its just useless thoughts.

but thank u anywayss.

I have noticed your writing excel quite a bit.

You really have a way of expressing your "useless" thoughts.

What you have not considered is the people who will read your poems and how much they may enjoy and understand your poetry.

useless to you, especially when you keep them locked up inside.

nine letters... starts with "pot"... NOT "potheaded"...

 

have you guessed? I've said it before...

huh?

I gave you a hint... look at my previous post.

im not usre how we got into words or wutever but it's potential. which i cant spell.

Perfect spelling.

sweet. haha

but potential to do wut..

write betterrr?

No, you write amazingly now. Yeah, you can improve, but everyone has room for improvement. You have the potential to do anything your heart dreams of. Writing is one of your talents. You could utilize your rare skill to impact the world and change something you don't like. I'm planning on changes the policies on child abuse with my literary skills. Dave Pelzer (A Child Called It) is one of my literary heroes. He had the courage to reveal secrets from his childhood that I have never been able to divulge to my closest friends. He published the books (four so far) with the knowledge that someone would read them and try to do something about it.

 

That's my goal.

Have a goal. You can do whatever you want with your life. You have the support of countless friends that you may not realize you have. I can tell you that anyone on HD who reads your work enjoys it. We all would love to see you succeed in life.

 

Ciao gotta help w/ the little ones!

 

thanks. but im not sure i even want a goal.

i know i sound like a moody little teenager but ive thought of life in every mood ive ever been in and i can honestly say i just dont like the idea of life very much at all.

 

and if your not thinking "oh shes overreacting" and got over the fact that it isnt just angst talking then you mite wonder 'wut about the good times' i must admit when im happy, im happy. but it just doesnt add up much. and how could it get easier.

 

my life is cake. go to school, get okay grades, my parents cook and clean and pay for everything and provide me with everything i need. my life is EASY. im not in a horribly broken home and we're not rich but we arnt poor. its not that hard for me to survive. yet i hate it. it so much harder to me then it should be. and i make my own issues. and i dont like myself at all.

 

i guess i dont really understand other people to get it very much and its okay if you dont. just try to understand that i dont want a life. and that i have no goals, cept 'live through today' but thats only cuz i try not to be too selfish.

[Topazia]

thanks. but im not sure i even want a goal.

i know i sound like a moody little teenager but ive thought of life in every mood ive ever been in and i can honestly say i just dont like the idea of life very much at all.

 

and if your not thinking "oh shes overreacting" and got over the fact that it isnt just angst talking then you mite wonder 'wut about the good times' i must admit when im happy, im happy. but it just doesnt add up much. and how could it get easier.

 

my life is cake. go to school, get okay grades, my parents cook and clean and pay for everything and provide me with everything i need. my life is EASY. im not in a horribly broken home and we're not rich but we arnt poor. its not that hard for me to survive. yet i hate it. it so much harder to me then it should be. and i make my own issues. and i dont like myself at all.

 

i guess i dont really understand other people to get it very much and its okay if you dont. just try to understand that i dont want a life. and that i have no goals, cept 'live through today' but thats only cuz i try not to be too selfish.

I know what you mean. I was the same way the first 15 yrs of my life.

[xMyOwnMindx]

thanks. but im not sure i even want a goal.

i know i sound like a moody little teenager but ive thought of life in every mood ive ever been in and i can honestly say i just dont like the idea of life very much at all.

 

and if your not thinking "oh shes overreacting" and got over the fact that it isnt just angst talking then you mite wonder 'wut about the good times' i must admit when im happy, im happy. but it just doesnt add up much. and how could it get easier.

 

my life is cake. go to school, get okay grades, my parents cook and clean and pay for everything and provide me with everything i need. my life is EASY. im not in a horribly broken home and we're not rich but we arnt poor. its not that hard for me to survive. yet i hate it. it so much harder to me then it should be. and i make my own issues. and i dont like myself at all.

 

i guess i dont really understand other people to get it very much and its okay if you dont. just try to understand that i dont want a life. and that i have no goals, cept 'live through today' but thats only cuz i try not to be too selfish.

I know what you mean. I was the same way the first 15 yrs of my life.

 

wut changed? and how?

and please dont tell me some stuff like "i thought positively"

cuz answers like that make me sick

[Topazia]

thanks. but im not sure i even want a goal.

i know i sound like a moody little teenager but ive thought of life in every mood ive ever been in and i can honestly say i just dont like the idea of life very much at all.

 

and if your not thinking "oh shes overreacting" and got over the fact that it isnt just angst talking then you mite wonder 'wut about the good times' i must admit when im happy, im happy. but it just doesnt add up much. and how could it get easier.

 

my life is cake. go to school, get okay grades, my parents cook and clean and pay for everything and provide me with everything i need. my life is EASY. im not in a horribly broken home and we're not rich but we arnt poor. its not that hard for me to survive. yet i hate it. it so much harder to me then it should be. and i make my own issues. and i dont like myself at all.

 

i guess i dont really understand other people to get it very much and its okay if you dont. just try to understand that i dont want a life. and that i have no goals, cept 'live through today' but thats only cuz i try not to be too selfish.

I know what you mean. I was the same way the first 15 yrs of my life.

 

wut changed? and how?

and please dont tell me some stuff like "i thought positively"

cuz answers like that make me sick

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

♥

[xMyOwnMindx]

thanks. but im not sure i even want a goal.

i know i sound like a moody little teenager but ive thought of life in every mood ive ever been in and i can honestly say i just dont like the idea of life very much at all.

 

and if your not thinking "oh shes overreacting" and got over the fact that it isnt just angst talking then you mite wonder 'wut about the good times' i must admit when im happy, im happy. but it just doesnt add up much. and how could it get easier.

 

my life is cake. go to school, get okay grades, my parents cook and clean and pay for everything and provide me with everything i need. my life is EASY. im not in a horribly broken home and we're not rich but we arnt poor. its not that hard for me to survive. yet i hate it. it so much harder to me then it should be. and i make my own issues. and i dont like myself at all.

 

i guess i dont really understand other people to get it very much and its okay if you dont. just try to understand that i dont want a life. and that i have no goals, cept 'live through today' but thats only cuz i try not to be too selfish.

I know what you mean. I was the same way the first 15 yrs of my life.

 

wut changed? and how?

and please dont tell me some stuff like "i thought positively"

cuz answers like that make me sick

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

♥

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

[Topazia]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

[Horatio]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

[xMyOwnMindx]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

 

thank you.

ill refer to your or any god as 'god' with no capital.

im not showing respect for things i find entirely fictional.

thats like asking people to capitalize voldemort....

[Topazia]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

 

thank you.

ill refer to your or any god as 'god' with no capital.

im not showing respect for things i find entirely fictional.

thats like asking people to capitalize voldemort....

but Voldemort is a fictional character with a proper noun name.

 

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

peace

i gotta go

[Horatio]

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

Sometimes it is better for you if you let things go. In this case,

I suggest you allow Lauren to express herself in her own style.

[Topazia]

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

Sometimes it is better for you if you let things go. In this case,

I suggest you allow Lauren to express herself in her own style.

that was the point

I don't feel like arguing today, so I'm letting it go.

I'm not going to bring it up again, either. I understand limits and boundaries of converation. I develop them in my books.

[xMyOwnMindx]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

 

thank you.

ill refer to your or any god as 'god' with no capital.

im not showing respect for things i find entirely fictional.

thats like asking people to capitalize voldemort....

but Voldemort is a fictional character with a proper noun name.

 

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

peace

i gotta go

 

 

i dont want to argue. i want to talk. im not mad. and if you get mad then its cuz u let yourself.

i dont believe god is any less fictional...

why cant you just deal with that?

[Topazia]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

 

thank you.

ill refer to your or any god as 'god' with no capital.

im not showing respect for things i find entirely fictional.

thats like asking people to capitalize voldemort....

but Voldemort is a fictional character with a proper noun name.

 

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

peace

i gotta go

 

 

i dont want to argue. i want to talk. im not mad. and if you get mad then its cuz u let yourself.

i dont believe god is any less fictional...

why cant you just deal with that?

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

[xMyOwnMindx]

I stopped lying to myself. The first part of my life is almost a total waste. Yeah, I learned a lot, but I've learned so much more these last two years. No, in JUL2004, I was on a trip with my youth group, and that's when I gave my life to Christ and stopped lying that I was something I wasn't. God gave me the power to face my past and get over it. A few months later, I met the love of my life. I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

Giving up gave me the courage and strength to overcome most of the depression the doctors failed to treat in 7th grade. Yeah, I get relapses, but I just talk to my beloved or pray, and it all goes away. I used to have ZERO goals or dreams. Yeah, I wanted to be an architect or a vet or a teacher or a social worker or a writer, but I had no motivation to attain those goals. I lived in the moment, which made for a very pathetic life.

 

You might not appreciate the blatant profession of my 'religion' (religion literally means to bind. Christ came to FREE us.), but it's the reason for my existence. I don't care what others say. My life completely changed for the better once I surrendered and got rid of my pride. I wish others here could see just how much I have changed, but only God and I know how much has turned around. It's hard to explain. But there's my answer.

 

I hope it didn't make you sick.

⦣8482;?

 

eh, not completely but im not finding 'god' in my life anytime soon so i have to find myself a different way.

maybe i'll just grow outta this...

yeah, that's what I thought, too. It didn't work out. I'm not gonna pressure you, at least blatantly. But I will tell you that it's not all about little cross necklace-wearing bible kids. I'm definitely not your stereotypical Christian...

And it's God. With a capital G. the term god just refers to any old deity in any old belief system. But in Christianity, that's His name. Just like we capitalize Lauren or Patricia or Horatio (in formal writing, of course), the general population capitalizes God. Not to be PC, but still. It's a pet peeve.

In certain other religions, god is not capitialized, so please allow Lauren some leeway. Perhaps she is not referring to the God in Christianity but the god of another religion.

 

thank you.

ill refer to your or any god as 'god' with no capital.

im not showing respect for things i find entirely fictional.

thats like asking people to capitalize voldemort....

but Voldemort is a fictional character with a proper noun name.

 

Look, we;re not getting into this coz I don't feel like arguing.

peace

i gotta go

 

 

i dont want to argue. i want to talk. im not mad. and if you get mad then its cuz u let yourself.

i dont believe god is any less fictional...

why cant you just deal with that?

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

[Topazia]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

[Horatio]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

[Topazia]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

I'll listen to anyone who will speak to me.

[Horatio]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

I'll listen to anyone who will speak to me.

That is wonderful!

[Topazia]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

I'll listen to anyone who will speak to me.

That is wonderful!

well, I'm supposed to treat others like I want to be treated. I try not to interrupt and I'm always caring about others' thoughts, just like I want to be treated.

 

It's only sensible.

[Horatio]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

I'll listen to anyone who will speak to me.

That is wonderful!

well, I'm supposed to treat others like I want to be treated. I try not to interrupt and I'm always caring about others' thoughts, just like I want to be treated.

 

It's only sensible.

The Golden Rule... a wonderful guide for life.

[xMyOwnMindx]

I do deal with it...willingly, I might add.

That's your prerogative. I know people are bound to have differing viewpoints; that is what makes the world such an awesome place (despite how I consistently say it is a horrid, broken earth we live in.) to be.

 

I'm just overly verbal with my opinions. I feel strongly about them. If you have an issue with it, tell me, and I'll tone it down. I won't stop, but I'll be more subtle.

 

you dont have to be more subtle.

just when its directed towards me.

then what's the point of not being subtle? I like to talk blatantly about my beliefs. I understand if someone doesn't appreciate it, but this is America. Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech is great, but this is a two-way street. You would like people to listen to your thoughts and it is a wonderful quality to be able to listen to others.

I'll listen to anyone who will speak to me.

That is wonderful!

well, I'm supposed to treat others like I want to be treated. I try not to interrupt and I'm always caring about others' thoughts, just like I want to be treated.

 

It's only sensible.

 

well you can say anything you want. in fact i want you to. but expect anything back then.

cuz i believe strongly against organized religions and think all of it is ridulous.

i thought someone with a mind like your would see that.

[Topazia]

The Golden Rule... a wonderful guide for life.

Horatio gave an opinion!

 

well you can say anything you want. in fact i want you to. but expect anything back then.

cuz i believe strongly against organized religions and think all of it is ridulous.

i thought someone with a mind like your would see that.

I always expect anything back. I don't expect you to believe the exact same thing as I do. The world would be boring if that were so!

Of course I saw. A person with a mind like yours is wonderful to hear. Why don't you like structured religions?

[xMyOwnMindx]

The Golden Rule... a wonderful guide for life.

Horatio gave an opinion!

 

well you can say anything you want. in fact i want you to. but expect anything back then.

cuz i believe strongly against organized religions and think all of it is ridulous.

i thought someone with a mind like your would see that.

I always expect anything back. I don't expect you to believe the exact same thing as I do. The world would be boring if that were so!

Of course I saw. A person with a mind like yours is wonderful to hear. Why don't you like structured religions?

becuase they cause problems. and are complete flase hope.

[Topazia]

The Golden Rule... a wonderful guide for life.

Horatio gave an opinion!

 

well you can say anything you want. in fact i want you to. but expect anything back then.

cuz i believe strongly against organized religions and think all of it is ridulous.

i thought someone with a mind like your would see that.

I always expect anything back. I don't expect you to believe the exact same thing as I do. The world would be boring if that were so!

Of course I saw. A person with a mind like yours is wonderful to hear. Why don't you like structured religions?

becuase they cause problems. and are complete flase hope.

If it's just false hope, why do you think so many follow reliogions, not just Christianity?

[xMyOwnMindx]

The Golden Rule... a wonderful guide for life.

Horatio gave an opinion!

 

well you can say anything you want. in fact i want you to. but expect anything back then.

cuz i believe strongly against organized religions and think all of it is ridulous.

i thought someone with a mind like your would see that.

I always expect anything back. I don't expect you to believe the exact same thing as I do. The world would be boring if that were so!

Of course I saw. A person with a mind like yours is wonderful to hear. Why don't you like structured religions?

becuase they cause problems. and are complete flase hope.

If it's just false hope, why do you think so many follow reliogions, not just Christianity?

cuz they dont want to see the truth. that humanity is more or less horrible.

and that no one is higher then them and no one has a plan for them and they dont want to feel alone.

its all about a security blanket.

its understandable.

untill it becomes advirtisted.