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The story of five minutes


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I slowly open my eyes to a bright warm room. The green curtains shone beautifully in the sunlight. My clock read 7:30 in red. My desk was messy with papers and magazines. Floor covered in dirty clothes from the previous day. I rubbed off that stuff you find on your eyes in the morning. I examined it. It was dry and sandlike. I stared at it. Then I sluggishly wiped it on my comforter. I got up from my bed and I went down the stairs tp breakfeast at 7:35.

 

Extensions to come...

 

This topic shows how important it is to zoom in on a moment. How much longer, and more interesting a story can be if you zoom in on the moment... You'll see what I mean in the next post.

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I slowly open my eyes to a bright warm room. The green curtains shone beautifully in the sunlight. My clock read 7:30 in red. My desk was messy with papers and magazines. Floor covered in dirty clothes from the previous day. The clothes, they looked perfectly clean, but yet, they weren't. The brown blouse and black skirt looked perfectly clean, but the truth was I had tripped and fell onto the ground. I rubbed off that stuff you find on your eyes in the morning. I examined it. It was dry and sandlike. I stared at it. Then I sluggishly wiped it on my comforter. I got up from my bed carefully taking off the bed covers. Right after I went down the stairs quietly to breakfeast at 7:35.
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:laughing well, it's definitely different! now to extend it further! (this is entirely my odd imagination)

 

I slowly open my eyes to a bright warm room. The green curtains shone beautifully in the sunlight. the walls were a softer green. My clock read 7:30 in blood red. My desk was messy with papers and magazines. Floor covered in dirty clothes from the previous day. The clothes, they looked perfectly clean, but yet, they weren't. The brown blouse and black skirt looked perfectly clean, but the truth was I had tripped and fell on to the ground. I rubbed off that stuff you find on your eyes in the morning. I examined it. It was dry and sandlike. I stared at it. Then I sluggishly wiped it on my comforter. I got up from my bed carefully taking off the bed covers. Right after I went down the stairs quietly. Along the way, I tripped over my black dog, Miles. He yelped. I was at breakfeast at 7:35.

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  • 4 years later...

WHAT IS THIS

WHAT

WHY

ARKCHER HAVE YOU BECOME AN OCCULT PAGAN HERETIC NECROMANCER THING

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE OLD TOPICS

 

EVEN BETTER QUESTION IS WHY DO I CARE

 

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT

 

 

 

 

by the way, note to mw from 2004:

use obscure descriptions, they make everything more fun

be all like

THE BLOUSE WAS A SHADE OF BROWN SIMILAR TO THAT OF A LIGHT MUD CAKED ON BLUE JEANS, FADED FROM BEING OUT IN THE SUN TOO LONG. ITS TEXTURE WAS THAT OF A blablabla see how awesome it makes it?

also never say stuff in formal literature

seriously i mean even if this is informal

and even if you're doing something formal but writing from a character's point of view and the character would be one to use stuff and stuff

don't use stuff anyway

try to avoid it as much as you can

 

I HOPE YOUR 2004 SELF CAN BENEFIT FROM THIS INVALUABLE ADVICE oh wait i'm failing english you probably don't want to listen to me.

ahahahaha i should probably listen to me first

why do i never take my own advice, seriously

i should do obscure descriptions like that more often

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Lulz, I saw this topic while I was digging through old topics a few days ago because I was just that bored. But I didn't read it because of some reason that I forget now.

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Lulz, I saw this topic while I was digging through old topics a few days ago because I was just that bored. But I didn't read it because of some reason that I forget now.

You're here now. :D

trufax u___u

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