Mushroom_king

While everyone in the real world as trying to choose between McCain and Obama, Internet-types were choosing between Brock Obama and Optimus Prime.

Cheesemaster sighed in a way mixed with anger and desperation. "Edna, how many times must I tell you that I see her as my friend and nothing more? Besides, if I did-feel that way, nothing would come out of it." Edna sighed. "I think you're a better match for her then Mr. Ahrroww." Cheesemaster gasped. "Edna, don't say things like that. Arkcher loves her very much." "But does she love him back?" "Of course she does!" "How do you know?" Cheesemaster paused. Edna was about to resound with 'I told you so' when Cheesemaster said, "Well she tells me that she does." "What if she's lying?" "I trust her to not lie to me, Edna." He said sternly. "Now come on, we have to get going. Looks like it's still raining," He said as he buttoned up his coat and adjusted his hat. --------------------------------------------- Cheesemaster knocked on the door to MK's room to make sure she was ready, and the two left with Edna tagging along at a long distance. "I forgot my umbrella when I came here," Said MK worriedly. Cheesemaster smiled warmly and took out his, opened it up, and placed it so it completely covered her. "T-Thanks," She said, as they began to out of the Club. "But you're going to get wet." He laughed as a large raindrop fell onto the lenses of his glasses. "A good gentleman offers his umbrella to a lady in the rain if she doesn't have hers, even at the risk of himself getting wet." He stopped when they reached the road, where he offered her to hold onto his arm as they crossed. When they got to the other side, he continued, "And offer his arm to her when crossing the road..." He then walked over and held the door for her and Edna. "...And of course hold the door for everyone." "Thank you," She muttered shyly. "But you don't really have to..." She stopped when she saw him run back to the door and hold it for another woman who was coming in out of the rain. The woman came in, glared at Cheesemaster, and then smacked him. She muttered something about how she was independent and didn't need his help, and stormed out. MK ran over to Cheesemaster, who assured her he was alright. "How rude," He muttered, looking at her as she stormed off into the swirling fog. Edna was about to run out and give her a piece of his mind, but Cheesemaster stopped him, saying that was not the smartest thing to do and he must simply let it go. The three walked in, and were instantly taken aback when they saw that many of the tables had games of cards going on at them, and Roger playing against Who are You in a game of Billiards; Schimmi was playing with Graf Von and Cutie Puppet at Darts. "Hello, you three!" Said the voice of Kat. She tried to sound happy but sounded more angry. "Something wrong, Kat?" "Oh, nothing. It's just that The maaaaan won't let me go play the drinking games over there...or play Poker with those guys...or darts...or billiards....plus he won't let me watch that Gilligan's Island marathon on TV." "What's going on here, Kat? This isn't a casino-" Started MK. "It's just Game Night. We've been having this for like one day now, haven't you noticed?" "No, Kat, we haven't. It looks kind of fun, but...I don't gamble." "Too bad then, because we're gambling with just about every one of these games, except Billiards and Chess-" "Did you say chess?!" Cheesemaster said excitedly. "Yea, there's Checkers too," She said, pointing to a small dog. "But we have the game, too." "I prefer Chess, though Checkers is fun too when I don't feel like thinking quite as much. It still requires a great deal of thought to play of course, but not as much. But I digress-where are we going to sit?" Kat ran over to a small seat over in the corner, where not as many games were being played; they saw Roger slouched in the booth next to the Jukebox; he'd gone over there when Schimmi and Graf Von gave up their darts game to some other customers and joined Who are You in Billiards. He sat back in his seat, cigarette resting in the ashtray as smoke billowed up, a song probably playing on the Jukebox. Kat sat down her three friends to the booth directly in front of Roger's booth. "Alright, well I'm Kat-I'm reminding you, but mostly I'm reminding myself because I had an identity crisis the other week and thought I was Thomas The Tank Engine. Anyway, I'll-HOLY ICELAND, THEY'RE PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE!" And with that she ran off. Cheesemaster sighed while MK laughed. "Looks like someone else will have you serve us," Said Edna, giggling. "I may just be your man," Said Roger getting up and walking over to their booth. "What is it ya want?" He said, getting a wrinkled notebook out of his pocket. "For now, we just want some drinks," Said Cheesemaster. "Unless you wanted something already, Mushroom." "No, I'll wait. I want to pick," She said, glancing at the large, laminated menu on the table. "I'll have a soda." "A glass of water," Said Edna. "A glass of water and some tea," Said Cheesemaster, taking off his coat and scarf. "It's coming right up," Said Roger. "Think I can remember that without writing it," and he left. Edna was looking behind him at the games that were going on; The only people he recognized were Kat, Dead Deep, and Redwing, all three of which were at a table passing a gun around. Cards and chips were scattered on their table as well. Schimmi, Who Are You, and Graf Von were switching between Darts and Billiards, just next to their booth. Cheesemaster, curious to see what Edna was looking at, also looked-and quickly (but gently) shoved Edna's head back to facing forward. "You can't watch that, Edna-" He said, and he himself looked just in time to see the gun passed to Dead Deep. Dead Deep made a motion as though he was sighing, and stuck the gun in his mouth. Cheesemaster gasped, and tried to keep his eyes closed, but couldn't. Dead grinned and pulled the trigger. A loud BANG was heard through the entire building, quickly silencing everyone, and Edna, wrestling his way out of Cheesemaster's grip, looked. Dead Deep smiled again; and shouted in a state of intoxicating happiness, "BY GOD, That was exciting! Haven't done that in AGES! If that makes me the loser of the game, then F*** DO I LOVE LOSING!" He was obviously still alive (wait, what?), somehow. Kat stood up. "You mean, zombies don't die when you shoot them in the head?!" "Did I get shot in the head?" Kat said nothing, until she looked around. "But now there's a big mess here. Hold on," She said, taking out a purple spray bottle and a yellow towel. The rest of the player's eyes went wide, but she went on with whatever she was doing. "Hold on, I'll fix this. First I'll spray some Kaboom, and then I'll wipe it up with ShamWow-" Another large BANG was heard. When the customers looked, they saw the Russian Roulette players completely covered in ashes. The stains were gone, but an explosion had happened-somehow. Roger stomped over to Kat, put his fingers to his forehead in frustration, and shouted, "Kat. How many times have I told you..." he lifted his head and began screaming at her, "YOU DO NOT USE KABOOM AND SHAMWOW TOGETHER BECAUSE IT CAUSES INTERDIMENSIONAL TIME WARPS?! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CREATE THOSE, AND HOW HARD IT IS TO GET RID OF THEM?!" Kat looked at him. "Making Time Warps is hard? I always thought it was just a step to the right." Roger gritted his teeth; you could see that his forehead veins were about to burst. There was a very long, awkward silence, until the Invisionists heard a voice that the reader hasn't seen in some time-The Breakfast Monkey. "You know, I'm really beginning to like this planet!" She shouted, smiling. "It's quite exciting!" Roger heaved. "Whatever. Just...just...You know what, you did that to me, I'm pulling the same s*** with you now, Kat." Roger put down the tray of drinks he was carrying to Cheesemaster and Mushroom and grabbed a piece of bread off the plate of one of the Roulette players. He smeared butter all over it, grabbed some duct tape out of his pocket (he conveniently had it!), and taped the toast to Kat's back. There was a long silence again. "So, uh, what was thaAAHHHHHHH" she shouted, and suddenly began spinning rapidly. Edna gasped. "What's happening to her?!" he shouted, about to get up, but Cheesemaster stopped him. "Don't you know, Edna?" Asked Mushroom. "When you put buttered toast on the back of a cat, it turns into antigravity. Unlike Dividing by Zero, though, it doesn't cause massive rifts in time and space." "But how is that possible?!" Shouted Edna. "That isn't physically possible-" "Edna, haven't you realized by know that Kat is capable of breaking the laws of reality anytime she wants, and usually without even realizing that she's doing it?" Edna sighed. "But how?" "Well you see, Edna," Cheesemaster said, sounding miserable, "Cats always land on their feet, while buttered toast always lands butter-side down. Attach them and you create anti-gravity. Also, we're extremely lucky-that cleaning accident only caused an explosion, and not a time-space rift, which is what usually happens when Kat does things." "I've noticed," Sighed Edna. "But how is she going to get out of it this time?" "Well, she could just reach and take the toast off of her," Muttered Cheesemaster, "But knowing Kat she'll more than likely find some needlessly complicated way of going about it. Edna sighed. Roger came over, exasperated, and slammed their drinks to the table and then walked off. Who Are You, Graf Von, and Schimmislick were giggling. "Well, tonight's been exciting, that's for sure," Said Mushroom. She then smiled and said, "Glad we came out here." "Hey!" Roger suddenly shouted, standing tall in the middle of the room, still sounding angry. "Who wants a free sub sandwich? I'm giving one away with every punch in the face!" "I do! I DO!!!!" Shouted Kat, still spinning in the fit of antigravity. She groaned a few times but managed to spin her way over to Roger, who punched her directly in the face, successfully knocking off the buttered toast and freeing her. "SUCCESS!!!" She yelled, and got her sub sandwich from Glowurm. "Free sandwich AND I'm free from my fit of antigravity!" She then checked her watch. "Oh, no! I missed the Gilligan's Island marathon! It's not too late, though-I may not have access to a time machine, but there's still Underwater Santa Claus Xtreme BMX Water-Balloon Toss to tune into!!!" She said, and ran over to the corner of the room, where a dusty TV from the early 90's sat abandoned on a small, poorly-nailed in shelf. She climbed up, and flipped through the channels, until she found the channel showing Underwater Santa Claus Xtreme BMX Water-Balloon Toss. "And right after this show, we still have the Shooting Gallery Dance Recital competition to tune into," She said. "And after that, there's a marathon of The "Zombie Stealers" saga, where they'll be showing Zombies Stole my Cookies, Zombies Stole My Crutch, Zombies Stole my Christmas Tree, Zombies Stole my Silverware, and Zombies Stole my Bike back to back with no commercials! And after that there's the soap opera "The Elegy of Bananaman and Sometimes Bootman", and then there's that documentary about Pyramid Head's cousin Traffic Cone Head, and then a full hour of music videos from Kitty Keyboards in Space, and then there's that documentary "Star Wars: Where Are They Now?" But I've already seen that-Vader became a violinist, and Chewbacca became a Republican-so when that comes on I'll be tuning into that preacher who talks about Cheesus, and when that's done I tune back to this channel, where there'll be a news special about how Great White sharks have learned to walk on land and use guns and now frequent ball pits, the kiddie pool, and wishing fountains, and then there's Cannibal Chef, and then..." "OK, Kat, I think you're pretty much booked for the night," Shouted Roger, still bitter. "No, no! Then after that there's Lawl and Order, the Internet Show, and then there's the comedies "Squirrels on Steroids", "Mimi The Meme", and then there's Fight Time, where they're gonna show Billy Mays taking on Vince Offer, and then there's the musical movie, I forgot the name, but it has Patrick Stewart and Dick van Dyke in it. Oh, and there's the documentary about how a military base was attacked by giant tacks and radioactive sailors, and, uh....oh yeah, the Watching Grass Grow Show. I think that's it until 7 AM tomorrow, when they'll start "Internet Week". "I can't wait for that," Muttered Roger, fuming. "Now sit down QUIETLY and don't cause any more trouble!!!" Kat sniffled. "Why do you have to be so mean to me you big jerk?! Now when I get home I'm gonna duct tape myself to a christmas tree, then cover my entire body with duct tape, and then put a body bag over my head, and then go to the moon so I can go be emo and alone THERE!" She said, and then slouched in her chair and watched the TV. Cheesemaster sighed. "Some people cut themselves, but Kat, well, she goes to the moon." He said. Roger stormed off, the drink tray under his arm to a door behind the bar counter. "I'm going to wash the F****** DISHES!!!" He shouted, his voice suddenly very gravelly-sounding. The moment he slammed the door, by fate or coincidence, Tom Waits started playing on the Jukebox. Glowurm moaned and moved his softly glowing body out from behind the bar, over to the booth where Cheesemaster, Edna, and Mushroom sat. "Since Roger is-" He coughed, "Busy," he said with disdain as one could hear Roger loudly shouting swears as he cleaned the dishes, "I'll be helping you guys out for tonight, then. I sure hope you're ready to order." "We are, don't worry." "Good, now tell me what it is." The three gave their orders-Mushroom asked for a Black Bat Award, Cheesemaster for a Platinum Moon Award, and Edna getting a Hoop's Story Kid's Meal-and Glowurm hurried off to the kitchen, cringing as he opened the door and Roger's yelling became much louder for the few seconds that the door was opened. "I have to wonder who is the cook here," said Mushroom. "You think Roger does the cooking? Or Woodstock?" "Woodstock doesn't live in Hamsterdam, I don't think," Said Cheesemaster. "I swore he lived in Taynio." "Unless he moved in with Glowurm, into his apartment," Mushroom said thoughtfully. The music from the Jukebox mingled with the sounds of Kat's show; the three looked over to see what was happening. A man dressed in a Santa Claus suit was riding a bicycle underwater, using sharks as ramps. Occasionally Kat would make the same jeers that regular sports fans made at the television, cheering for her favorite team and booing the other one-for this sport apparently had teams-cringing at the accidents, and so on. The yelling got louder with every Jig she drank (which Glowurm gladly brought him after he was back from the kitchen. "Didn't Roger say he was performing tonight? Hope he isn't too bitter about Kat to do it," Mushroom said, as they continued to wait for Glowurm to come back. "His yelling can't be heard anymore, so he may have calmed down," Cheesemaster thought. Edna was slouched against the side of the booth, probably tired. Cheesemaster looked at him and sighed. "I guess he just should have stayed back at the Club," He said quietly. "You don't mind if I take him back there, do you?" Mushroom shook her head, as Glowurm set their food down on the table. "Thank you; I'll be right back," He said as he gathered up his coat and scarf and carried Edna outside. --------------------------------------- Cheesemaster carried Edna in his arms to just outside the restaurant, where the rain was yet still falling down. He grabbed his umbrella and made sure Edna was completely covered. On top of Edna was the small bag his food was in; he would have to leave it there with a note to heat it up later if he woke up. Cheesemaster carefully walked across-there were few cars driving about-and walked inside the Cub, which always remained unlocked. He walked upstairs to his room, and carefully laid Edna down on the couch, with the food on the table next to him; he took the notepad, with the Club's logo stamped at the top, and carefully wrote a note telling Edna to heat it up later given that he woke up before morning. Cheesemaster smiled at Edna, covered him with a blanket, and made his way back. --------------------------------------- Paper mario Master had, for the first time a few days, finally come out of Mushroom's psyche to stir up trouble. "God, I feel so much better! I had to sleep for sooooo loooooong because of that week where I lived solely on fried chicken and energy drinks so I could set the world record for most games beaten in the smallest amount of time! I even went the extra mile and beat Through The Fire and Flames on Expert mode without missing anything..." He said, sitting on the table. Cheesemaster walked in at that moment, and saw Paper Mario Master; he suddenly felt bad, as he could have eaten the Hoops's Story Meal Edna was going to eat. But he came closer and saw it was already taken care of; Mushroom was sharing her own food with him. "Hi there," Said PMM with disdain. "Well where have you been?" Cheesemaster asked as he began to eat. "I spent a week playing video games nonstop," PMM said again. "I was breakin' records and stuff." "That's fantastic-I take it you were sleeping for a few days?" "That's right!" Mushroom gave another part of her meal to PMM and as he ate it, she laughed. "I remember when I first met PMM," She said. "How did you meet him? I always thought you first met him here." "Oh, no, me and him knew each other back at home." "Oh," Cheesemaster said softly. "I don't take it you went to the same school, seeing as PMM is too old for High School," "Sort of-he was a teacher there." Cheesemaster nearly choked. "Wait-he was?!" She nodded. "Well THERE'S something I never would have expected...." he said, sighing.

MEANWHILE, ON THE INTERNET...

Mushroom_king woke up one morning not too long after Cheesemaster ended his adventure in Hindenburg. However, she was many miles away, on Mt. Jazzeh. It was getting on to the end of May, and Summer was almost here. The seasonal bubble around the Mansion was showing signs of Summer, but the outside mountain of course was not changing at all-still covered in snow. It never changed. Arkcher was not in their bed, which normally was odd; but she knew that as of late he had been busy working on his nano-technology. She'd seen his NanoRadio and was currently building her a nanoMP3Player. He birthday was coming up-it was not far behind her Cheesie friends-and he said he promised to have it done by then. So he had been spending many sleepless nights working on it. It was taking him longer than usual, he said-Cheesemaster had been busy helping Leguan and Alienfreak with their airship, and Aloysius had been in Hamsterdam helping Shirley Locke with her cases, as well as probably spending time with Solrai. So he'd been working alone for most of the project. His father had left notes for him to read about Nanotechnology, and while he was doing fine, it was just slow. But right now, Arkcher was not working; he was almost done, he just needed to decorate it and then ask for Cheesemaster as well as Aloysius's advice on how it could be improved, and that could wait. He sat back in his chair, his eyes shut; his mind suddenly drifted back to when he was still in school. He thought of Jeff and Paula-well, Paul; she preferred that name over her real name. He wondered if they missed him; he hoped Thomas wasn't beating up Jeff. He almost laughed. Jeff and Paul had become great friends-she would protect him if Thomas or Edvard tried to pick a fight with him. Though he would never admit it, Thomas was scared completely of Paul. He wouldn't admit it even on his deathbed-he'd never admit he was afraid of being beaten by an American, and a poor one, and a girl no less. The same year that bring your father to school day happened; Arkcher, Paul, and Jeff were in their dorm on a Saturday. Most of the boys in the school would get permission to leave the grounds and go somewhere for fun, but Paul and Jeff didn't quite have the money to do so. Arkcher knew that if he phoned home and asked, his father would oblige, but his mother would then call yelling at him. As much as he missed his father, and his sister Sharona, and Derringer, and maybe even Mint, Arkcher had to admit he didn't quite miss his mother. Paul was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her glasses desperately needed a cleaning. Her tie was untied, her shirt wasn't tucked in, and her belt was loosely done up. That was the way she wore the uniform on the weekend; she said it was more like what she wore normally. Jeff sat on his bed, studying, while Arkcher sat on his playing a video game he had smuggled in his suitcase when he had came there years before. He suddenly stopped, and looked over at her. "You know, Paul-" He said, and she didn't move, though she let a soft grunt showing she was paying attention. "Even though I was born right on top of it, I've never been to America-except to Texas, and I don't regard that place as Earthly." Paul sighed, and laughed. "Ya might not want moi apininion av what tha states have gawt ta' owffah," She said, leaning up and starting to clean her glasses on her shirt. "Lemme tell ya somethin'-why I don't go to tha girl's school." "Oi always thot it wos because you didn't fit in theah," Said Jeff, smiling. "Ya sowt'a correct," Said Paul. "Oi'd go thea, and thea' be oowl these rich little bratty b*****, ya know what Oi'm tawkin' about?" The boys nodded. "Oi'd tell 'em, 'Oi'm from New Yoik!' and they go awn and awn about rich desoignahs and Broadway and celebrities." She sighed angrily. "Oi'd tell 'em, No, no, I ain't from dat pawt of tha state! But they'd still go awn and awn about deyah dumb desoignahs, and deyah dumb Broadway musicals, and dey don't know nutting about wheyah Oi even came from!" "That, and all da goils theah, all gihly-goils, Oi was da only one who waddint afraid'a gettin' a nail broken in a fight." Arkcher looked over at her. "By the way Paul, how did your dad get you into boarding school?" "He had da money saved away," She explained, "Plus a lotta it was from da job Oi had." She paused. "I wohked at a lotta different places, in case ya wonderin'." Arkcher sighed and fell back onto his bed. "But from what you said before, the way they stereotyped you-Canada isn't all hockey and Maple syrup," He said quietly. "I don't even say 'Eh'." Jeff shut his study paper into his book and set it on the nightstand. "Same heah with my country," He said, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Not all tea and top hats," "My dad drinks tea," Arkcher commented. "And, uh...he wore a top hat to formal events." "I'm not saying theh ahn't people like that," Jeff laughed. "Just not everyone." Paul sighed, and then sat up on her bed. "Oi'm bored. Whoy don't we go explorin'," She said, tightening her belt buckle. Jeff got up and looked at her, puzzled. "To wheah?" "Ah dunno. Whoy not go see what we can do in dis town?" "Or in the school," Said Arkcher. Paul did up her belt buckle, but didn't tuck in her shirt or tie her tie; she knew a teacher would yell at her for it, but she liked doing that. Arkcher stopped remembering for a moment, and then a brand-new thought popped into his head. How long had Paul been able to keep up her disguise? The teachers, and the other boys, must have noticed if her shoulders stayed rounded and her voice stayed high-pitched. The thought of them finding her out and transferring her to the girl's school scared him-not only because of Jeff's safety, but because of the fact that she hated it there. He made a mental note to use the Universal Database to try and contact them-soon. The three walked out of their dorm, only to see Thomas and his friends walking down the hallway as well. Paul narrowed her eyes at him, and he at her; Jeff cowered behind his friends, and Arkcher stood in front of both of them. Thomas flipped his red hair and laughed. "And vat might you be doing? Heading out?" "Dat's exactly what we'ah doin'," Retorted Paul. Thomas laughed again. "As iff I'll believe zat? You and Jeff are far too poor to be going anyvere." "What's dat saposed ta'mean?" Paul shouted, restrained only by Arkcher's arm. "Exactly vat I zed," Said Thomas, glaring at her. "I azzume Ahrrow vill be paying for both uff you?" "We're only going exploring-" Said Arkcher, for lack of a better term. "We were gonna go out to town-or maybe just go around the school-" "Go around the school, yah?" Said Edvard, his eyes sparkling with menace. "You'll get yahselves beat by the senior boys." Paul laughed heartily and sarcastically. "Me, get beat boi tha seenyah bois? Ha! Ya kidding, ahn'tcha ponytail-boy?" Edvard was held back only by Thomas. "Ya, I think so! What's it to ya? Once'ey see a little boy who's alrready got 'is glasses, you'd be fresh meat to 'em, girly-boy!" "Ya better shut'cher mouth about moi glasses, shorty!" "You better shut yours about my height!" "F****!" Shouted Paul. "You're the f*****, with your girly figure and high voice! If I didn't know better I'd say you WERE a girl!" "Dat's IT!", Shouted Paul, lurching her way out of Arkcher's grip and tackling Edvard. "Now then, we don't have to dew this, yew know," Charley said, standing over them. Paul stopped for a moment, and, while still laying on the floor, kneed Charley-she had aimed for the knees, but had kneed him in the groin instead. Charley fell to the floor, and Salvator backed away from the scene, watching at a safe distance. He's been talking frequently the entire session, but mostly just little comments egging Paul and Ed on to fight. His Italian accent had gotten thicker in recent years. "I don't want to get any bloodstains on my beautiful, stainless clothes, or get dragged into the fight and get my clothes mussed or my hair messed up," He said, though he continued talking behind the noise. A small crowd of boys who were still at the school gathered around, cheering the two on, and some got out their phones and called any boys who may have been in other parts of the school or in town to come and see. Paul, much to Thomas and friend's shock, was the one who was 'winning'; he had Edvard pinned to the floor, and had a great less wounds then him. Not only this, but due to that fact that a good slap on the back would reveal her secret and that she was too poor to afford new glasses, she had learned to move around during a fight so she wouldn't be hit in the back or the face. Ed was bleeding from multiple places, mostly from where Paul had punched him; his uniform was in tatters, his perfectly combed hair mussed and the ponytail holder becoming loose. Charley had barely made his way in between Arkcher & Jeff and Salvator & Thomas. He still wore the expression of severe pain. Thomas and Jeff both grabbed a shoulder to make sure he was alright, but Thomas scoffed at Jeff, and sternly told him to not touch his friend. "But Thoomas, Oi think iht's bettah if all foh of yew helped chamfhat me, as all foh ahf you ah my friends..." The fight between Paul and Ed still raged, until a teacher came over and lurched Paul off of Edvard, with resounding shouts of "Hey! Hey! STOP IT!!" with Paul and Edvard shouting their regional insults to each other. Ed wiped the blood from his mouth, and Thomas and Salvator came over to help him stand up. Charley would have helped too, but he was not exactly in the mood to move around. Thomas glared at Paul as Salvator looked Ed up and down and made sure he was all right. His teeth gritted, and his fists were clenched, and he opened his mouth to insult Paul more, but decided against it as not to get in trouble. He was still bitter that Paul had caused him the one stain on his school record. Arkcher's memory was suddenly halted when he heard the bell ring for dinner time; he shook his head to get his head back in the real world, said over the intercom he would be right up there, and made his way up. ------------------------------------------- Over dinner, Mushroom and Arkcher discussed life, as well as birthday plans. "If you must know, your gift is just about ready," Said Arkcher. She grinned. "Well, it's good to know you've been hard at work." She sighed sadly. "I kind of wish I had something to repay you with, though. But my gift is my song," She said, and she started to sing softly, "It may be quite simple, but-now that it's done..." Arkcher blushed a soft pink, and looked at the floor. "I-It's fine, Mushroom," He stammered. He blushed harder, and then tried to imitate his father. "It's like Aloysius always says, a good gentleman must never ask for payment from his lady," He said. Then he laughed and added, "I guess it would be the sam vice-versa, too." "So what will we be doing for my birthday, anyway?" She asked him, changing the subject. "Maybe fly out to Hamsterdam and eat out at Planet Horatio?" Arkcher folded his arms, and smiled. "Well...I was thinking of taking us to that fancy place that dad brings Solrai to all the time. What's it called-ah, yes, Eyfergaht." "Odd name." "Yea, more ancient-sounding than fancy-sounding. But either way, it's a really nice place, and I kind of wanted to take you there..." "And then what?" "What do you mean, then what?" "I mean, what will we do after dinner?" Arkcher smiled. "We'll go to Planet Horatio to open presents. I already know Vanilla, Dana, and Dawn will be there, Cheesemaster and Edna, Horatio of course misses no birthdays...Kat...maybe some other people. I dunno." "Well, I guess that's fine with me. Those are my best friends, though Blood Queen is kind of mean and her boyfriend is scary. But it's still good, plus Who are You is pretty good with birthdays." Arkcher laughed, and told her he would be downstairs putting the finishing touches on his project. "It may take me a while to pick the perfect finish. If you need to, you can go ahead and fly down to Hamsterdam-" "All by myself?" "Well, you'll have your sanity to keep you company." MK laughed and headed off to bed, while Arkcher headed back down to the underground lab. ------------------------------------ The next day, MK woke up a bit late, remembered she was supposed to go to Hamsterdam today to wait for Arkcher, and fled to the Wardrobe Room to get dressed and pack clothes; PMM was not even half ready to wake up and get moving already. MK promised he could sleep in her psyche all he wanted, but he had to come out if he wanted to play any video games. MK went down to the lab to say goodbye to Arkcher before she left, even though she'd only be in Hamsterdam about a day without him, assuming he got his project done on time. She walked down, but was surprised to see he was not at his work bench. He couldn't be upstairs eating breakfast; he had gone up the night before and grabbed himself a cereal box and milk carton as well as a bowl and spoon to eat in the morning so he wouldn't have to go upstairs. MK sighed sadly, and was about to walk out when she turned around and saw Arkcher standing in front of her. He clutched her shoulders, causing her to drop her suitcase. He brought her closer to him, and her head fell onto his chest, and her hands near his broad shoulders, but he lifted her head up so she was facing him. She backed away from his chest, but her hands moved up to his shoulders. "Even though I'll only be alone for one day-" She started, but Arkcher leaned close to her face. "I know you'll miss me, even if it is just one day." He said, laughing, as he slowly moved closer to her face and kissed her. He slowly moved his head back up and then wriggled her out of his own grip. "I'll miss you as well, but it is only just one day." She agreed with him, and left to catch the plane. --------------------------------------- Mushroom got to Hamsterdam not long after the small incident in the Lab of the Mansion; it was raining heavily and it did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. She pulled her green coat close to herself and walked on, trudging towards the Best Friends of Horatio Club for room and board. Horatio had recently taken the kind action of allowing some Invisionists, if they were poor or only planned to stay a short time, to stay at the Club Building. She stood by the side of the road, wishing she had brought some rain boots, and hailed a taxi. Not long after she did, a yellow car with a checked line down the side drove up, splashing water about, its windshield wipers waving every couple of seconds. MK climbed into the front seat and took out her black Pink Floyd wallet to find a price with the driver. "You're Mushroom_king, right?" Asked the driver. She said yes, and looked up-she saw the face and recognized it from Planet Horatio, though she did not know its owner; it was Roger. An unlit cigarette dangled out of his mouth. "Y-yes, I am," She said again. "I didn't know you were a taxi driver." "I do a lot of things," He said, as he began to drive. "Waiter, pianist, and now cab driver. What next." He sighed, and took out a lighter. "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" She shook her head. Roger kept a hand on the wheel as he lit the cigarette that was hanging out of mouth, rolled the window down a bit, and blew the smoke outside. "So why are you even here?" He asked, coldly. She tensed up a bit. "My birthday is coming soon. Me and my husband were going out to dinner tomorrow night," She said, "And afterwards to Planet Horatio for presents." "Sounds good to me," Roger said bluntly. "Here, this is your stop, isn't it? Best Friends of Horatio Club. And right across the street is Planet Horatio. I'm performing tonight, should you want to come." MK payed Roger, with a tip as she knew he was poor. "Thank you, maybe I will come for dinner." Roger saluted her, and then drove off. ---------------------------------------------- MK walked inside, and after a round of hello's and how are you's, she got up to a small but comfortable room on the second floor of the Club. A few hours passed, until it was lunchtime, and she was about to head out, when she found two other friends of hers were staying; she had set her bags in her bedroom when she ran into them. "Mr. Cheesemaster-" Cried Edna, looking behind him just to see their friend come out of her room. Cheesemaster turned around, and smiled wide when he saw her. "Hello there, Mushroom," He said, his head almost swallowed by his scarf and black coat. "Fancy seeing you here. Guess you came here early for your birthday already?" He said, laughing. His cap was still dripping with water. "Y-yea, I did," She said. "Where were you about to go?" "Just going to go out for a while." He then turned a faded pink and put his hands behind his back, and asked her, "Where were you planning on eating dinner?" "Planet Horatio." "Oh," He said. "I wanted to try that new fancy place tonight. I think it's called Eyefergaht, or something." "Oh," She said. "W-well, Arkcher was going to take me there tomorrow." "H-he was?" Cheesemaster said, looking and sounding shocked. He looked off into space. "I see. Well, nevermind-" "No, wait!" She said, running over to him. "Why don't we just go to Planet Horatio? Even though we're going there tomorrow for cake, we aren't eating there. We could go there!" Cheesemaster turned back around to her, and looked at her shyly. "That sounds perfect. I'll come by when I'm ready to go." She agreed to this, and the two ran down the stairs and went where they were intending to go. ----------------------------------------------- Cheesemaster came back to the Club long before Mushroom did, and he and Edna ran upstairs to their room so they could get ready. "Are you sure you want me to come?" Asked Edna, as Cheesemaster got dressed in front of a mirror. "What do you mean? Of course I want you to come," Said Cheesemaster, not looking at him. "Oh," Said Edna, and then he smiled. "I thought you wouldn't want me there on your date." "My what?!" "Your date with Mrs. Mushroom," He said. Cheesemaster stopped for a moment. "My what?!"

Hunting around town for a copy of Tales of Symphonia. (Don't worry, I found one.)

The MacGyver theme song. Because awesome shows require equally awesome theme songs.

John and friends woke up the next day feeling more well-rested then ever; John and Will both marveled that now they were on an adventure, doing what they had always wanted to do, and they didn't have to go to school anymore! "We never went to school," Said Cody and Logan. "We've lived in the woods all our lives." "No parents?" Asked Will from the bathroom-he was getting his bodysuit on. "None at all," They said, though there was no sadness in their voice. "Never even knew 'em." "That's too bad," Said Katie, brushing her blue hair. Corbin was combing his bumpy, bright orange hair and putting it into a ponytail in the back, and then cleaned his glasses. "Katie went to a magic school in Densetsu; I was a teacher there. Her parents joined the Royal Army and were killed, so I decided to take care of her. I ended up homeschooling her because she didn't get along well with her peers." "That's almost as bad as Cody and Logan not having parents," John said quietly. Then he snapped his head up. "We need to look for Drewno Lucznik." The other turned and gasped at him; Will walked in and asked what was happening. "You don't mean to say-you're serious about finding this Lucznik fellow?" Asked Corbin. John nodded. "And about that Neil guy traveling with us. He seems powerful-and smart. Not to say Will and Corbin aren't smart, you guys are very intelligent, but he seems very wise." "He just seemed like a jerk to me," Said Will, sitting down, and not entirely sure what they were even talking about. "Who is this Neil guy?" Asked Katie, and the boys gasped-they had completely forgotten that she had not been there. John described him to her. "Oh, that man we saw at the edge of the woods? He held the door to the library for me, Cody, and Logan." "He did?!" Said Corbin in surprise. John shook his head. "I don't think he's a jerk-he was just surprised, and he's probably upset that his friends aren't helping him look for Julia, and he's probably distraught with fear about Kuupkay and Julia." Corbin sighed. "You may be right, John...but the way he smacked you..." "I'm still wondering how he knew Katie was alive, and that his friends aren't helping to find Julia," said John. He then got up. "I'm going to go find him and talk with him." ---------------------------------- John wandered about Usagi Town, looking for Neil; he's be easy to find, seeing as the town was populated by Rabbits and they were far shorter than any other creature, and Neil, who was human (or at least John thought so) would be very easy to spot. He hoped he hadn't already left town, and he decided to start checking the places that, from what he could gather, would be places Neil would go to. He already knew the library; where else? He didn't even know Neil well enough. He seemed like a respectable man, so he wouldn't be at the Tavern drinking (besides, John was too young to go inside); he wielded a Katana, so perhaps the Katana shop? John decided to check the library first, as he wanted to do some more reading anyway. ----------------------------------- John walked into the library, and when he walked into the books area, he thought he saw a figure dart behind a bookshelf; curious, he went to check. Sure enough, it was Neil Vento. He wasn't cowering like John expected; he stared at John with a sheer look of calmness...if such a phrase is possible. "I was expecting you to come look for me," Said Neil calmly. The two sat down, and John was the one who started with the questions. "You told me that you were the princess's caretaker-" "That I am not. I was her gardener. But I typically took over for her real caretaker, who did a lousy job of it." "I didn't think you had been hired as her caretaker," Muttered John; "You don't look like a Princess Caretaker. You look like a paperboy." Neil snapped his head up. "I am most certainly NOT the paperboy!! Be more respectful, young man!!" He shouted, angry. John shushed him. "This is a library," He said, and Neil gritted his teeth but said no more. "I want to know some things-" Said John. "For one, I want to know what kind of a person Julia is so I can know what to look for." "I'm not telling you," Muttered Neil stubbornly. "I'll look for her myself." "I want to help," Whined John. Neil shook his head. "As her caretaker-" "Her gardener," Corrected John. "Shut up and don't interrupt me. As Julia Kamen Ojousama's caretaker, it is my responsibility and mine only to find her." "Then where is Drewno Lucznik?" Asked John. "He is in one of the forests," Proclaimed Neil, "Though I don't know which one." "You don't remember which forest he was in when you visited him?" Neil seemed confused. "Who said I visited him?" John said nothing for a moment, for these words were mildly shocking to him. He kept asking Neil questions. "How do you know these things? Like what your friends are doing. You know they aren't looking for Julia. You knew I was here, too, ad that Katie was alive, and that we'd run into trouble in the woods. How did you know all this stuff?" Neil shut his eyes and folded his arms, and then looked at the ceiling. The light reflected off of his glasses, making it seem as though he had no eyes. They were silent for a long time, with John asking "Well?" At regular intervals, but Neil did not respond. After a while, John's head began to tickle-for lack of better words. But head wasn't right-more like his brain began to feel odd. He put a hand up to it, and began to moan-not out of pain, but confusion; and eventually the oddity of the matter was so strange it did indeed begin to hurt. The very moment John's brain began to ache, the sensation stopped, and Neil's head snapped back to looking at him, and he opened his eyes. "Well?" John asked again. "What do you mean, 'Well'? I just told you." "You did not!" Neil looked at him in a mix of confusion and suspicion. "I see," He said, as he got up to leave. John followed suite, and just like yesterday, stood blocking his way out. Neil moved John out of his way, and before leaving, simply said "So you aren't as in-tune with the other, non-magic fields, I presume." "What do you mean?" Shouted John, but Neil was gone, and John was even more confused and now had even more questions than he had when he came in. ---------------------------------------- Neil walked out of the library, and breathed the forest air. He had seen John Espada again like he had wanted to, but he hadn't enjoyed it; he couldn't let John know his secret. After all, there had been some persecution against his kind from mages for years; and John came from a very small mining town, where a number of people may not like his kind. But John had come off as a kind and open-minded person; he really had no need to be worried. And he was certainly not a demon, nor was any of his friends. But still...he wondered. John had already caught on, and he probably already knew; or perhaps not. All of his friends were mages, save for that boy...the one who wore all-black. He was not a mage, but did possess a physical power. He saw that, but did not find out what power it was, since he did not get to witness the boy use the power. Neil was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, and he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder; Espada's. "Sir," he said, out of breath from running from the library (as Neil had walked a rather far distance), "Please, tell me what is going on." Neil turned around and looked at John straight in the eyes, not sure what to do. "How do you know about your friends and what they are doing? And if you know those things, why not use whatever it is to find the princess?!" "It's not that easy," Said Neil, taking a step back. "Psychic power-" Neil clasped his hand over his mouth. John realized he obviously wasn't a good secret-keeper. "You're a psychic! I knew it!" "No I'm not!" "Yea, you are! Of course. You used a power to know where your friends are!" "Shut up!" "Why-" Said John, sounding excited, "I'm even more excited to get you to join my adventure! I don't have a psychic yet." "You don't discriminate against me?" Neil asked quietly. John looked at him, incredibly confused. "Now why in the world would I do that?!" "It's happened so many times," Neil stated quietly. "Psychics are not as well-loved as Mages, unfortunately." "That's dumb, I think they're just as cool," John said kindly, hoping to get Neil to join him on his quest. "But I'm still not traveling with you," Said Neil, brushing off John's hand, which rested on his shoulder in comfort. "Not unless you bring me Drewno Lucznik." He said, half-jokingly, and so he was surprised when John shouted "I will!!!!" In a matter-of-fact tone. Neil looked at him as he ran back off to the hotel to find his friends and begin his journey, and doubted he would remember to do it. ----------------------------------------- John ran up to the hotel room and was about to loudly announce his plan to find this Drewno character, where he may or may not be, but in the middle of his announcement, a loud knock came at the door. "I'll get that," Corbin said, getting up and opening the door. Behind it was the Grey Rabbit in striped clothes! His eyes grew wide when he saw Corbin and he backed away for a moment, but then his brow furrowed and he stared at him. "If you please," He shouted, his voice high-pitched, "I'm in my room next door trying to do nothing, and I can't do it if you're screaming and shouting!!!" Corbin glared down at the rabbit. "And who might you be?" "Stom Konijn! You better shut up so I can do my nothing!" Corbin was about to say something to the rabbit, but the door slammed in his face before he could. "Rude rabbit," He muttered, with a glare. He stood there for some time before opening the door again. The rabbit was still there. "I see you're still there." "I am." Said the rabbit. He still looked annoyed. "And why?" Shouted Logan, from the back of their hotel room. "Because you're annoying and I wanna punish you myself!" He said. Then the rabbit smiled. "Let's take this outside, ginger." Corbin growled, something Katie had never hear him do. "Fine then," He said, "But let's take it outside. And we must first exchange names." "Teacher, this is ridiculous," Katie shouted angrily, but Corbin ignored her. "Corbin Pyna Taikuri," he said. "Holy Mage." The rabbit gulped. "Stom Konijn. Uhm....Dark Mage." Corbin pushed his glasses up his nose. "Very well. We shall have a battle of magic outside." Stom's eyes narrowed and his little mouth curved into a sadistic grin. "Let's go, Taikuri." -------------------------------------- Corbin and Stom gathered in the middle of the road in Usagi Town, with a crowd of Rabbits (plus John and friends) to watch. Stom looked nervous; he seemed almost scared of Corbin as he cleaned up his glasses, made sure they would stay on his face, and then cleaned his keystaff. A black-furred rabbit served as an announcer for the fight, and after announcing, Stom pulled out a small, round bomb, while Corbin charged with his keystaff. "Holy purging!" Shouted Corbin, with the white light moving speedily towards Stom, who screamed and moved out of the way before throwing the bomb at Corbin, who hit it with his keystaff back towards Stom, who dodged it as an explosion sent rabbit citizens scattering in every direction. Stom pulled out another bomb. Corbin raised his keystaff. "Exorcism!" He shouted, as he jammed the staff into the ground and sent a greyish light hurtling towards Stom, who yelped as he dodged it and threw the bomb, which was deflected. This pattern repeated many times until Stom stood there, out of breath. "I thought you said you were a dark mage! Use some magic!" Shouted Corbin. Stom's eyes widened, and he regretted ever telling Corbin he was a mage. But telling the whole truth would have gave away his secret-he tried to think of a spell he could use that was vague enough so he wouldn't be suspect... "Black Rite!" He shouted, as darkness rose out of the ground into his paws, and he flung it at Corbin, who nimbly tried to dodge, but failed. He was hit full-on by the blackness and screamed. "Teacher!!" Shouted Katie, but Logan kept her from going to help him. Corbin rose off the ground, bruised. His eyes were hot with rage. "You lied to me!!!" He screamed, running towards Stom and hitting him with the white light of his staff; Stom screamed the same painful scream Corbin had emitted. "You're no Dark Mage! You're an Unholy mage!" The crowd gasped. The owner of the hotel muttered under his breath, "Knew there was something suspicious bout the guy." Stom's red eyes grew enormous at Corbin, and the two began exchanging spells. Katie's eyes began to well up. "Holy and Unholy are weak against each other! They'll get themselves killed!!" She screamed, and began to sob. Logan pulled her close to him and comforted her, to Cody's surprise. Logan looked up at the fight scene; Stom and Corbin were about to deliver the final blow, when the group heard Cody's voice. "Soul Freeze!" He shouted, and the two fighters stopped in their tracks. Logan let go of Katie, walked over, and dragged Corbin back over to them. Logan then sighed and muttered, "Purified Soaking," And water splashed over Corbin's head, waking him out of his trance. Katie, John, and Will stared at the twins in disbelief. "You guys are mages?!" "Water and Ice mages," Logan and Cody said, respectively. John sighed as he saw Stom roaring in anger and people crowded around him. His eyes narrowed, and without thinking, ran over and plucked Stom from the crowd. "Stop hurting him, dammit!" Corbin shouted, his hand clutched onto the collar of Stom's bodysuit. "But he's a demon, and you're a Holy Mage!" Shouted a voice. "Who says he's a demon?! I'm no angel, and I'm certainly no saint, but I'm still a Holy Mage!" "He has a point," Muttered Cody and Logan in unison. "So you leave him alone!" Corbin shouted, and then let go of Stom's bodysuit. Stom glared up at Corbin, his red eyes round and wide. "No one's ever defended me like that before," He said, taking a step back. He wanted to run away but found himself unable to. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done to me!" "Glad I could help then," Said Corbin, leaning down and attempting to pet Stom's head, but the rabbit backed away. "I hope I see you again soon, Mr. Konijn." The group walked back into the Hotel, with Stom staring in disbelief. "Wait!!" He shouted, running after them. They stopped, and Corbin turned around. "This fight isn't over! I'm going to train and train and become way better than you!" Corbin smiled his infamous small smile. "Very well then. I'll come back someday-" "Why don't you come with us?" Suggested John. The others nearly fell to the ground. Logan started yelling at him about how that was a stupid idea, but Will was the one who tried to talk sense into him. "John, are you just going to pick up anyone to join us? You need to be wary-" "Especially in times like these," Said Katie softly. John picked up Stom, much to his objections and struggling. "A little animal...person is just what this group needs." Stom started swearing at John and tried to get down, but wasn't doing so well until he forced his way out of John's grip. Stom breathed heavily. In his heart he wanted to go-he'd never had any friends before... "I'll-I'm-I'm not going! I don't need you guys!" Said Stom, turning his back and folding his small arms. John becamed upset. "But-" "Nothing." There was a long silence, until the group heard a voice. "The rabbit is lying," Said Neil.

(I still like Schrodinger from Hellsing though, but I liked him because his character is based off one of my favorite scientific theories.)

I get so mad when people call me a Nazi because of my German lineage, which I have on both sides of my family. But I get homicidal when I meet Neo-Nazis who don't even have German lineage who praise what the Nazis do and their beliefs and wish they were German despite that fact that most if not all Germans/German Descents (such as myself) hate Nazis and consider what they did a stain on their lineage (such is what I think) and that my grandmother, who is English (and married a German) had her city bombed every night by Nazis in WWII and despite my saying all this I still get the **** from people calling me a Nazi and from people praising them. I really, really want to cry right now because both of these things happened to me today.

"The Great Mouse Detective" is a really good, underrated Disney movie and you should watch it. =D Oh, and Newsies.

Cheesemaster and Edna were making their way out of the penguin house when a great crash was heard behind them; they looked, and the glass of the penguin house had broken and the penguins were all waddling out, armed with sanity-stealing guns! Cheesemaster swiftly grabbed Edna by the wrist, nearly dragging him along, and he had to hold onto the sides of his glasses and yet keep a finger on his cap to keep them from flying off as they ran. "Come on, Edna! Run!!!" "What's going on?" Edna shouted. "They're sanity-stealers!" "I don't know what you mean, but OK!" The boys ran through the park, past the few screaming people they came across; the other animals in the park got riled up and tried to escape, but the penguins did not stop to free them. They simply took their sanity-stealing guns and zapped anyone they came across. Cheesemaster was far more worried about Edna's safety than his own, and even moreso the safety of Alienfreak; not so much Kat as her sanity had probably already been stolen, or that she didn't have one to be stolen in the first place. But either way, he hoped his friends had escaped the park; he did not know it but they had gotten out safely, and a crowd was lining up along the walls of the park wondering what the ruckus was about. Cheesemaster and Edna continued running, and suddenly wondered where Shirley and Aloysius were; they wouldn't be able to do their jobs anymore without their sanities. Edna shouted for both of them, but was quieted by Cheesemaster. "If you yell those penguins will find us," he said sternly, and then sighed and said, "I never thought I'd be running away from freaking penguins!" The boys ran for a long time until they thought they had lost the penguins; but now they found that they themselves were lost. "We need to find the exit," Cheesemaster said, nearly out of breath and his glasses slipping from sweating. He looked around for any sign of the exit but found none. Anyone who could help him had already gotten their sanity stolen and was probably unable to help them even if they did find them. "Perhaps we could climb over the wall?" Edna suggested, and Cheesemaster looked at the high walls of the park. "It'll be difficult, but it's worth a try. Here-" He said, taking off his jacket, and then his sweater. "Hold these." "What are you going to do?" Edna asked as he held the jacket. "Remember those braces Mushroom gave me for my birthday?" He said, and it took Edna a bit to remember he was talking about his suspenders. "Yes, I remember. What about them?" "Remember? She said they were stretchy or worked as grappling hooks or something among those lines. This is a perfect opportunity to test them out." Edna nodded. "OK, sir," He said, not sure of whether this plan would work. He looked behind him and yelped-the penguins had found them! "Hurry up, Mr. Cheesemaster! I'll try and fend them off!" He shouted, and not quite sure what to do with it, tied the sweater and jacket around his waist. Cheesemaster took his suspenders, and before trying them, felt the wall to make sure he couldn't climb it. Damn, He thought, not loose bricks or anything. If I had just one loose brick I could put my foot in it and heave myself up the wall, or throw the brick at the penguins-no, no, that'd be cruel..." He became aware that his glasses were beginning to seriously fog up; he was unable to think properly if his glasses weren't clean. "Edna! I need you to hold them off!" "I'm trying, sir!" Edna was unleashing any PK attack he could use-especially fire ones, since penguins didn't like heat, or so he guessed. Cheesemaster rushed for his handkerchief and quickly moved it over his lenses, not very well cleaning them but he could at least see out of them now. He looked up and down the section of wall, and then the other sections of the wall. No luck. They'd probably just recently re-done the wall so to get rid of any loose bricks. "Mr. Cheesemaster-Sir-please hurry up, I can't do this for long!" "Try destroying the lasers!" "O-Ok," Edna stuttered. Cheesemaster unbuttoned his suspenders and tried to remember how to make them stretch and then hook onto the edge of a wall, as MK had told him over an e-mail the day after his birthday. He flung them up at the edge of the wall and pushed an odd button at just the right time so it would hook on. Now he needed to figure out whether he would go about this like a rock climber and climb up the edge of the wall, or go about this like a superhero and just throw himself over the ledge. He decided that throwing himself over was the quickest way out, though certainly not the safest, and yelled for Edna. "Coming," the boy shouted, tripping due to lack of energy, and just barely got to Cheesemaster before he released his footing and sent both flying upwards, and they just barely escaped with their lives as they landed on the other side of the wall, with the penguins struggling to get over, as penguins cannot fly nor climb. Cheesemaster had just gotten his suspenders back on along with his sweater and jacket when he heard the familiar British woman's voice; he looked up and saw The Grim Hamster Lord and Redwing flying above the wall, with Sheena having been carried to the very top of the wall! "Sheena-" Shouted Cheesemaster, confused, "Grim, Redwing-How the-Why are you here?!" "Wot do you think?!" Sheena shouted. "We'h here to steal sanities. Wot did yew think we weh here for?" Said a cross-sounding Grim. "Ves! To steal zanities!" Shouted Redwing, and Edna finally made the connection. "You're that little boy who ignored me earlier! Why are you a bird now?!" Shouted Edna accusingly at Redwing, whose eyes went wide. "ISS NOT JUZT BIRD! ISS PHOENIX! ISS GREATEST TYPE BIRD!" Shouted Redwing angrily. "I don't care! Why are you a bird now?! Why are you a penguin?!" He said, shouting at Sheena. "Magic powers," Sheena said triumphantly. "We used it back home, too, on Earth! It would just be queer if a penguin and two Phoenixes were wandering about!" "I get it now," Said Edna quietly. Then he got angry again. "But why do you want sanities?" "To rule the world, of course!" Shouted Grim, with Redwing echoing the "Of course" after him as loud as possible. "Well I won't let you!" Shouted another voice from behind the wall; this time belonging to Shirley Locke, whose mobility allowed her to climb up the wall better than Cheesemaster could, and Aloysius, being an elf, was also quite agile. The two of them stood on top of the brick wall, confronting the three birds. "Shirley Locke!" Mocked Grim, setting Sheena down on the top of the brick wall finally. "How wonderfully wonderful of you to come here!" "I've finally caught all three of you," She said. "Especially you, Redwing." "You all know each other?" Asked Edna. "Me and the Phoenixonian army go far back, young man," Shirley said without looking at him. "I sought them out even back on Earth in England. And now I have finally got you where I want you to be!" "Not zo," Said Redwing, flapping his wings over to Shirley and attempting to knock her off the side of the wall; Aloysius tried to grab her, but she backed away from him. She did not need his help to keep her balance. "We have one major advantage over you, Shirley-we can fly!" Shouted Grim. "You can't, though!" She said, lunging towards Sheena, who was completely helpless; the phoenixes were not quick enough to rescue her from Shirley's unusually strong grip, and refused to give up even when the phoenixes started attacking her. It was an extremely queer sight to behold-the elvin inventor and detective standing on the walls of a zoo clutching a penguin as two phoenixes attacked her. Safe to say it attracted quite the crowd, and it made Edna and Cheesemaster (though especially Edna) feel quite awkward. Shirley and Sheena suddenly lost their balance-or as much of it that they had, fighting on a brick wall-and tumbled to the ground, just barely rescued by Grim and Redwing flying down and catching Sheena, and Cheesemaster running over to catch Shirley; Aloysius jumped down to do it first, but as you know was beaten to it. Shirley reached over to grab Sheena but foiled by Grim and Redwing, who put their talons on her hand and attempted to scratch it up; but Shirley was not to be stopped by such a thing. She'd gone through far more dangerous situations-she'd been in the clutches of vampires, been at the mercy of sadistic killers, gotten thrown off waterfalls, and had been in many more such situations. Mere talons of Phoenixes would not stop her. Aloysius and Cheesemaster were trying to pry Shirley off Sheena, and the phoenix's talons off of Shirley, and tried to get the crowd away from them-and it failed up until a point. "LOOKIE ME!!!" Shouted Kat, and the crowd turned and looked behind them. Down the sidewalk was Kat, who was dressed like Captain Kirk with a Batman mask and cape. She ran down the road while humming the Spiderman theme, and suddenly set herself on fire. She screamed a scream of genuine pain, but the crowd found it hilarious and laughed. Kat stopped, dropped, and rolled, semi-successfully putting out the fire. "Cat People! Putting out Fires!" She shouted, doing some feline tricks. "Soon to be annoying you at a theatre near you!" Kat ran away and changed into a firefighter outfit, lit herself on fire again, and then put it out. "She's distracting them," Aloysius whispered. "Come on," He said, "Shirley-" "I've waited too long, Doctor. I'm not giving up on capturing them!" But it was indeed too late; the phoenixes wriggled Sheena out of Shirley's grasp and flew off with her, with the penguin complaining about how she didn't need their help to get out of situations. Shirley stood up, stopped to catch her breath, and then did something the three had never seen her do before; she fell to her knees and gave a resounding "No!!". "I had all three of them, finally in my grasp...If I could just catch them, then I could finally focus on capturing that Vlad Tepes..." She got up, sighed, and Aloysius went over and tried to comfort her. "If it's any consolation, Shirley, it's just about tea time," He said, and she sighed. "Thank you, Aloysius, we shall go to the nearest tea house so I can mope in my loss..." "That sounds good," Aloysius said, and looked around; conveniently there was a tea-room across the street. He turned around and looked at Cheesemaster and Edna. "Are you boys going to join us?" "Would we ever," said Cheesemaster as happily as he could. ----------------------------------- Shirley Locke, Aloysius Ahrroww, CC Edna, and Cheesemaster sat in a tea-room that had about half the room filled with the finely-dressed citizens of Hindenburg. Shirley, who had her violin with her oddly enough, was somberly moving the bow across the strings, much to the dismay of some other customers trying to have their tea and cake. Edna found it quite ridiculous that they would complain. "They are complaining because they have the state of mind that women are not to play instruments," Cheesemaster said, taking a drink of his tea. He shut his eyes and smiled, sighed heavily and happily, and then opened his eyes again, as the steam from the cup rose and fogged up his glasses, which cleared away just a few seconds later. Edna giggled at him. "Mr. Cheesemaster, how do you even like drinking that?" Cheesemaster set his cup down on the table, next to Aloysius's cup and Shirley's cup (which was untouched), and he smiled warmly at Edna. "I prefer milk," Said Edna, when Cheesemaster said nothing. "Or water." "I was the same way as a kid," Said Cheesemaster. "It was always too bitter to me. I found some sweet kinds, though; and that's when I learned to like it." He reached for his cup and took another drink. "Plus, most teas are quite good for your health, I have heard." Edna sighed. Cheesemaster laughed. "You can put milk in your tea, you know. And sugar." "I thought that was coffee?" "Tea, too. You know I don't drink coffee." "Bloody awful stuff," Moped Shirley. Aloysius laughed but nodded in agreement. "My wife Lara drank it all the time. I don't know how she did, but then again, she always asked me how I was able to drink tea." "Your wife was an American, wasn't she?" Asked Cheesemaster, his expression curious. "Indeed she was." He stopped for a moment and stared into space. After a moment of silence he turned back to Cheesemaster. "I moved to Montreal in Canada because I felt like it would be an interesting new environment to work in. She was there on a business trip-she was a businesswoman, you know, from the States." Shirley stopped playing her violin for a moment and finally took a sip of her tea. Aloysius's face twisted in disgust. "My two daughters later took a liking for sweet tea and iced tea, the two most disgusting and vile things I have ever had the displeasure of ingesting." "That's a shame," Shirley moped, and she began playing a sad tune on her violin as she contemplated what to do next. She suddenly jumped out of her slumped state, drank the rest of her tea, and stated that she was to find out who murdered three employees at the local freak show. "I read in the paper that one of the sideshow attractions in the show escaped-and the same day he did, three men were found murdered. There is, obviously, overwhelming evidence that the escaper is the one who killed them," He is, Cheesemaster thought, his thought almost frozen from this sudden outburst from Shirley. "...I must find the man responsible. Now, young man. Cheesemaster. That's your name, correct?" "Y-Yea," he said, surprised. "I see. Odd name. Anyhow, I read that your friends were there when the tent lit on fire and the crime must have happened." "I was there, too. Just not around the front." He thought for a moment and came up with a lie. "When we were watching the show, the chimera-his name's Edgar-he escaped. We went to find him-" Shirley stared at him intently, and then loosened her posture. "I see by the look in your eyes and your stance that you found him, and witnessed the men's deaths." Cheesemaster gasped, and then cleared his throat. "I-Yea," He said, lying again. "I saw them get killed." Shirley and Aloysius stood at the edge of their seats, listening to him. Cheesemaster had never felt quite so bad in his life-he hated to lie, and he hated to be telling them about how his friend was, to put it bluntly, a criminal. He cleared his throat again, and took a drink of his tea to calm his nerves. Shirley obviously had a way of reading eyes. He sighed and told her the details of the murders as though he had witnessed it. "I didn't see Edgar after that, though," He said, lying again. He made sure not to keep eye contact with her. She leaned back in her chair. "Very well then," She said, "Thanks for your help." She drank down the last of her tea, packed up her violin, and got up to leave. "Shirley-" "Yes?" She asked, turning around. "Please don't tell anyone that I helped you with this case. I...Prefer my secrecy." "Very well. Good-Bye," She said, running out with Aloysius trailing after her and saying his goodbyes as well. Cheesemaster looked at Edna and back. Edna sighed sadly. "Do you think Edgar will be OK?" He asked. Cheesemaster ran his fingers through his hair reassuringly. "Yes, he will." -------------------------------------- Cheesemaster and Edna walked outside to a busy street, and just by chance had Leguan, Alienfreak, and Kat run into them. "Leguan, Alienfreak, Kat-" Cheesemaster began, but Kat exploded on him, asking for thanks for distracting the crowd earlier. "WHY DON'T YOU THANK MEEEEE?" She yelled. "Thanks, thanks! Don't yell at me!" He said meekly. Leguan smiled. "Ve vere looking all ofer for vyou," He said. "Vat vere you doing?" "We found Shirley and Aloysius," He said, "And had Tea here. And you?" "Looking for vyou, I juzt zed zat." "Well, no time to just stand here. It's past five. You had tea with Shirley for a long time," Alienfreak commented. "Well, our trip to the zoo was ruined...sorry, Edna." "It's OK," He said, "Tomorrow it'll be Mr. Leguan's turn to pick where we go." "I alvredy know vere I vant to go," He said, and he leaned back, his hands behind his head. "I vant to go to ze Thames Forezt near here," He said. "To zee vat kind off plants et hes." "Well, we can do that if you want. Though tomorrow we have to get back to the Port of Cheese, and you and me have to take the ship back home to the island," Said Alienfreak. "But that means you don't get a day to do what you want us to do!" Said Edna, shouting. "It's OK. Me and Leguan decided together to go to the forest." Edna sighed sadly. There was not much more talk before Cheesemaster heard a familiar cry nearby. "Extra, Extra! Bizzah penguin rebellion at Hindenbuhg Zoological Pahk to-day! Suidshow attraction escapes, may have muhdehd three employees! Dark Time for Hindenburg! Read all about it!" "Don't need to read all about, we've seen all about it," Cheesemaster muttered, but he grabbed a coin out of his pocket anyway and threw it towards the boy hawking papers. "Here," He shouted, and the boy smiled, throwing one back at him with a cry of "Heh you go, Gov'nah," And they continued walking as Cheesemaster read what the paper had to say about the recent events. " 'HINDENBURG CIRCUS-Yesterday a curious and frightening spectacle happened when, during the final act of a sideshow performance where the latest addition to the lot, a chimera known as Edgar Alan King (age 14?) was attacked by an audience member, whose identity is yet unknown. In a fit of anger Edgar violently attacked the child with Walrus-like tusks. The teen-ager was dragged away by three employees who were later found dead of head trauma, poisoning, and a broken spine just behind the circus tent. Moments later the tent burst aflame, causing a scene of panic. Through unknown causes every sideshow attraction inside escaped alive. On the scene we have two women and a man who were witness to what happened, Leguan (age 24-no last name was given), Amara Kjemiker (age 22), and Kat Dacatis (Age 145). "Yea, man, we totally saw that tent go up into flames," Said a confused Miss Dacatis. "I'm glad I didn't catch on fire. I'm a member of People who Prefer to Not be On Fire (PPNOF), and I've been fire-free for over a year now." Leguan also spoke: "Me and my friends-these two, but also two young men, who I wonder where they are now-were inside, when the attacks happened and the room caught on fire. We were all extremely distressed." If you see this boy, please take him to the authorites.' " Shown on the page was a Wanted Poster of Edgar, his name in full view, the picture a close-up of him with two shotguns in each hand and bloodstains on his quills, tusks, and glasses lenses. A tidy sum was up for whoever could find him. Cheesemaster flipped to the next article, but not before looking at Kat curiously. "Age: 145?" "I swear to Optimus Prime and MacGyver that I did not tell them that. I told them 15." "OK, then," He said, and then read aloud the article about the Penguin attacks. On the page were three large wanted posters for Sheena, Redwing, and Grim; the pictures were all of their human forms. " 'HINDENBURG ZOOLOGICAL PARK-Just in light of the events that happened at Hindenburg yesterday, another terrifying yet bizarre case of events happened at the local Zoological park to-day. A perfectly normal educational stroll through our town's celebrated zoo would become a nightmare of bizarre proportions when the penguins in the penguin house broke out of their exhibit and began attacking anyone in sight. All victims are unavailable for comment; they report that their sanities were stolen by the penguins and have been admitted to the local asylum. Involved in the case was a British man and woman as well as a young Soviet boy, whose names are The Grim Hamster Lord, Sheena, and Redwing respectively and allegedly. The three were seen at the scene of the crime when the penguins attempted to attack several young men who escaped via climbing the walls of the Park, and announced their plan to "Steal all the Sanities and Rule the World". It is highly advised that if you see these three, please take them to the local law enforcement; the two adults are bad enough with their plans to overthrow and replace government, but the younger boy, Redwing, is a reported Communist supporter.' " There were more to both articles, but Cheesemaster ignored them-they were just more rehashing of facts and witness reports. Cheesemaster flipped through and saw a Wanted Poster for Dead Deep, picturing him sticking a gun down his mouth as he flipped off the camera; of course the Conservative Hindenburg had the poster censored, but it was still too obvious what was there. Luckily, there were no Kat posters. [this story will probably end in the next chapter or so.]

I just got back from Star Trek. IT WAS AWESOME. i want to see it again : D with friends this time : D But I have some important Angels & Demons, Night at The Museum 2, and Up to see first.

[i hope the Russian accent is OK. I couldn't find any good guides on Google like I could for the German accent, and I don't have any family members or Friends to base it off of like I do the British, French, and Texan accents.] -Several hours after Cheesemaster and Edgar's night in Longdon- Cheese Woman woke up with a stretch and sigh; it was her second day on the job, and was still a thing she was not used to. She jumped out of her bed and ran quickly to her bathroom, intending to take her pink ribbon and tie it through her hair; but then she remembered that Cheesemaster did not, and in general young men did not, tie pink ribbons in their hair. She had already rubbed all of her nail-polish off of her nails and trimmed her nails so they did not appear manicured, and had purchased some fake glasses that looked exactly like Cheesemaster's. She reached for her curling iron to curl her hair like his, and after doing so, reached for the pants, shirt, cap and button-on suspenders she had 'borrowed' from his own wardrobe for her disguise. She had also bought a pair of men's dress shoes to wear, as his own shoes did not fit her of course; it was very odd for her to wear them since as we have already stated she typically wore heels. But she had gotten a lot better at walking in flat shoes. She got her disguise on, went into her living room and grabbed the bundle of newspapers she had bought for that day, and practiced to make sure she could disguise her voice correctly, and then went outside. Sterling was already outside, sitting on Edna's stoop, properly disguised as him. She did a good job of it. Cheese Woman set a stack of papers on the sidewalk and held up one of them for all to see. The headline was quite interesting for once: VICIOUS SIDESHOW FREAK ESCAPES. She gasped at the headline, and gasped even more when she saw that Kat, Leguan, and Alienfreak had been questioned for the paper's report. She was lucky that Cheesemaster and Edna had not been questioned, or their disguises would have been useless. She checked the rest of the article to make sure nothing was in there about him; anything related to Longdon or Hindenburg, she read for a sign of him. None. Good. Time passed by with people coming and buying the paper to read the interesting headline, and it was only a matter of time before Jakob Rabbitt once again showed up. He was just as nasty as Cheesemaster often made him out to be; she had never really experienced him up-close, and he had not ever made fun of her, save for when she was called a mold by him; so she was a tad afraid of what might happen. Jakob did come by; but strangely enough, he was not scowling with hate at her, but rather looked concerned. He came up to Cheese Woman, and of course believed she was Cheesemaster, and asked her quickly and desperately, "Have you seen Sterling?" Cheese Woman shook her head. "I haven't seen her at all," and then Sterling, of course disguised as Edna, said the same. "Thank you, I've been looking for her. I looked in her bed this morning and all I found was Hazel Rabbitt's spirit. She vanished before I could get any answers out of her," was all he said before he walked away. Once he was a safe distance, Cheese Woman hoped aloud, "I hope Cheesie comes back soon." --------------------------------------- And now back to the events of the night before, at The Raven's Nest/'Salem's Lot in Longdon... A few hours had passed since Cheesemaster had beat up the Werepire, who had long since left. Dead Deep was still playing pool in the corner, and on his fifth box of cigars. "But aren't they bad for you?" Edna asked. "I'm dead, kid! They can't hurt me anymore." "Oh, I guess that's true." Dead Deep hit the last pool ball into the pocket, and Blood Queen, who was keeping track of his score, surprisingly. "That's your best game yet," She said, clapping. Dead Deep pushed his sunglasses up his nose so they wouldn't fall off, and sighed (which Edna found odd. He was dead so he didn't need to breathe, did he?) "Wish I had someone to play the game with," He said, and Cheesemaster walked over. "I could, if you want me to," He announced, and Edgar came by to watch. But Edgar was suddenly distracted by something, when his eyes went wide and he was glaring wide-eyed across the room. "Her-I thought she was..." He started. "Dead?" Finished Dead Deep. Cheesemaster followed his gaze and his eyes fell on an older woman, who was inhumanly beautiful, and thus Cheesemaster deemed she may be a vampire, but you never knew-after all, they had to be beautiful in their previous life to look like that, so of course by this fact along he couldn't make an assumption. But she was very beautiful-she was tall, curvy, and had long wavy black hair; her eyes were blue, she had red lips, and a vacant expression. She wore a purple, Victorian-styled top, black lacy leggings, black lace-up heels, and welding goggles on her head for whatever reason. She also wore a black trench coat, with black fur decorating the cuffs. Dead Deep laughed. "Not like I'm ruling out the possibility of the living dating the dead," He muttered. "Queenie here is still alive." Blood Queen folded her arms and pouted. "Quit reminding me," She whined. "Who is she?" Asked Cheesemaster, still looking at her. "That-She's my girlfriend from before I was taken to Hindenburg," Said Edgar. The fact Edgar had a girlfriend surprised even Dead Deep. He didn't seem like the romantic type. "Oh, I see. What's her name?" "Annabel Lee," He said bluntly, and Cheesemaster sighed. "How very ironic," He muttered, but Edgar didn't hear him. "So Dead, what'd she come back as?" He asked, ignoring Cheesemaster. "Vampire? Zombie?" "Don't know," He said, hitting some of the pool balls into the pockets. "I've studied her, wondering, but haven't found out. I haven't seen any adverse reactions to the sun, and she doesn't smell dead like a zombie. It's like she just came back, as the human she was before." "Like in that book, Pet Sematary." "Exactly," Said Dead, "Except, you know, she didn't come back as an evil terror. Not that anyone here would mind if she did, mind ya." Cheesemaster suddenly coughed, and slammed his hands onto the edges of the pool table. The others looked at him. "Buried in Pet Sematary, eh? Came back as the human she was before?" He said, angrily. "Well yea-" Started Dead Deep. "Bringing someone back to life the way they were before is not that easy!!!" He shouted, but not loud enough for everyone to hear him. The others were taken aback. "You can't just bury someone and expect them to come back ship-shape as the human being they were! You have to-" He stopped, his eyes looked as though he could start crying at the thought of a horrible memory. He cleared his throat. "You can't even have them come back in the body they once had if you want them back the way they were, unless you want to dig up the body, granted it has not already decomposed, and who knows if it would work after Rigor Mortis?! You have to make them a new body if you don't want to do that, and then you have to call their soul back from the other side-it's not as easy as burying someone in a special place and have them come back as a human!!! IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE!!!!" The group was completely silent, and for a moment, it seemed as though the building was too, even though everyone was still loud around them. "Souls from the other side?" Scoffed Edgar, kicking the legs of the table. "I thought you were an atheist! We don't believe in that sort of-" "You shut up!" He shouted at Edgar, taking him aback. "You stop touting that as a label of your rebelliousness!" "I wasn't-" "Mr. Cheesemaster, that really is an odd thing for you to talk about," Edna said quietly. "Being an atheist doesn't rule out the existence of a soul, you stupid sod," He muttered to Edgar, his eyes white with fury as they had been earlier. "Besides, where did you hear of that?" Asked Blood Queen, who had gotten down from the pool table. Cheesemaster cleared his throat, and began to sweat-he briefly turned around and wiped the fog off his glasses-searching his mind for what he could say while still keeping secrecy. "My father told me that once," He said. It was as close to the truth as he could get without saying the truth. "He was..." His eyes fogged up, and the rage mixed with remembering and sadness. He cleared his throat again. "He was a scientist," He lied. "Though not a famous one." "A scientist who talks about bringing the dead back," Muttered Dead Deep. He smiled-sincrely, not sadistically. "Like Dr. Frankenstein," He said, laughing. "Sort of," Murmured Cheesemaster, walking over to the table and grabbing his coat. "I want to go back to Hindenburg now," He said, his voice quiet from sadness. "We can take you there," Said Blood Queen and Dead Deep in unison. "Thank you," He breathed. ---------------------------------------- Cheesemaster and Edna sat in the Hearse, which for some odd reason had back seats. Probably custom-installed. Edna asked. "Nah, this is the way they'ah made in Longdon. Ya see, when someone dies in our town, it's a pretty exciting event. Unloik elsewhere, where everyone's crying all over the place. I think it's because elsewhere, they don't come back like we do. So we got multiple seats for taking away bodies." "I see," Edna said quietly. He leaned back in his seat, and was surprised to see Cheesemaster was not reading like he usually did. He was just sitting there, staring out the window, his only movement being his arm occasionally moving to adjust his glasses. "Mr. Cheesemaster, what's wrong? You're not reading. Did you finish your book?" He muttered a No. "I brought enough books with me that it would not be a problem," he said. "I brought five books, and finished two on the train ride here," He said nonchalantly. Edna gaped in amazement. He couldn't read three books in one train ride-except maybe little kid's picture books, but he was far past the age of reading that sort of thing; he had actually begun to read books that were more suited for children at least five years older than him. In just a few months he had changed from a boy who could barely read at all to an expert reader-for his age. "What's wrong, then?" He repeated. Cheesemaster sighed deeply. "It's nothing for you to know about," He murmured. "But Mr. Cheesemaster, what you said about your father, I-I....I never heard you talk about your parents before." "I said it's nothing for you to know about. It's too harsh a history for someone as young as yourself." "But now I shall be up thinking and wondering what you could have possibly meant by all of that!" "I said it is nothing for you to know about!!" Cheesemaster shouted, and Edna jumped back as best as he could under his seatbelt. Cheesemaster almost never yelled at him, save for the one time on the subject of his relationship with Mushroom_king...and Edna had long attributed that outburst to being tired. This time he thought perhaps the same thing was the problem, and declared in his mind he would try tomorrow morning. "Hey, you two, better get to sleep; this'll be an all-night drive," Said Dead Deep, not looking at them once. He reached up and looked at a Hitchhiker on the side of the road who looked rather ominous, and ended up picking the man up; he was very tall and very scary-looking, so Edna scooted in closer to Cheesemaster and tried, eventually only succeeding because his mind was unable to keep him awake anymore, to sleep. -------------------------------------------- The next morning came. The hitchhiker was gone, the day was cloudy, and Hindenburg was apparently only about half an hour away. Edna woke up and stretched, and was now hungry for breakfast; which Dead Deep had forgotten, as he had forgotten that the two were still a part of the living and needed non-brain food and non-blood liquids to survive. "Uh...looks like you may hafta wait 'till we get to the city before ya can eat. 'Less you're interested in brains." "No thanks," Said Edna and Cheesemaster in unison-Edna giggling, Cheesemaster dryly. Edna looked up at him; he arms were folded, and he looked at the ceiling of the hearse. The two of them did not talk until they got to Hindenburg. "It's a shame you couldn't stay longer," Said Dead Deep as he dropped the boys off. He smiled sadistically. "We had been just about to leave that place and head over to CyberZeks, a rave club...though I don't think you would have liked it. It's full of some pretty weird kids-you know, the ones who wear white foundation, surgical masks, and are into bondage. er, sorry I said that in front of the kid. See you two later!" he said, and giggled as he moved his tongue over his teeth again. ----------------------------------------- After a hearty breakfast, the five of our heroes, reunited at last and telling the tale of what happened in Longdon, had to decide what to do next. Today was supposed to be Alienfreak's turn, but she gave it to Edna since he looked upset about something. "Is there a zoo here?" He asked happily, and Leguan nodded. "Of courze zere es. Vere you thinking heff going zere?" Edna nodded excitedly, and Cheesemaster picked him up as they made their way to the Hindenburg Zoological Park. The day was cloudy, so there were few children at the park who were Edna's age; It was mostly adults, or teenagers who went there for reasons unknown. So Edna only had the other four to talk with, and they were rather busy; Leguan, as he was a biologist, studied not the animals, but the plants in their exhibits. Alienfreak, as she was a chemist, wondered how the plants could be mixed together. Kat was too busy spending her time in the Big Cat and Monkey exhibits to talk to anyone, so Cheesemaster and Edna decided it would be more fun to go to the Penguin House. "The place is decidedly modern for a city that hasn't changed much since the 1920's," Cheesemaster marveled, as he set Edna down on the concrete floor of the penguin house so he could stand on the rail and look in at the glass area where the penguins lived. He stood on the rail for a long time, with Cheesemaster often stopping to warn him to be careful, when Edna happened to look over and see there was one more person in the Penguin House with them; a little boy Edna's age! "Look, look!" He whispered, tugging on the side of Cheesemaster's coat, "A little boy my age!" Cheesemaster looked; also standing on a rail, with his arms folded on the top rail and his head placed on top of his folded arms, was a young boy like Edna said, with bright red hair that spiked out at the ends, and wore what looked like a military uniform, but with shorts and knee socks. Cheesemaster breathed a sigh of relief when he saw no swastikas on the outfit, but was a little concerned when he saw a Hammer-and-Sickle logo on the outfit instead. Edna got off the rail, ran over, and climbed onto the rail next to their young visitor. He took no notice of Edna, and when he looked, Edna saw he had a very bored expression on his face. "Hullo there!" Edna said cheerfully. "My name is Edna, what's yours?" The boy's eyes shifted to the side, looked at Edna, and then he jumped off the rail. His eyes grew wide all of a sudden, and he slowly back away from Edna. "Well wot's wrong?" He asked, and the boy's eyes grew wider still, and then he shouted something in a language Edna did not understand-Cheesemaster looked over, adjusted his glasses, and recognized the language as Russian. Suddenly, a short, curvy woman came over, and put her hand on the boy's shoulder. She wore a full-piece tuxedo, complete with tails; she wore small glasses, had blond hair, and the cuffs of her coat and shirt were larger than the rest of the sleeve. Next to her was a tall, thin man wearing a black fedora, navy-blue trench coat, what looked like a matching cloak, and had long, dark-blue (very dark!) hair. You could barely see his face underneath his hat and hair. He placed a hand on the boy's shoulders as well. Edna thought they were his parents; Cheesemaster knew it was not possible, as the boy had red hair and the adults had black and blond hair, and both parents had to have red hair for the child to have it. Science had taught him that! Another hint that the adults were not his parents came when they spoke: for they both had English accents, while the boy had a Russian one, though his English grammar was rather good, though he still spoke with an accent. All three voices sounded familiar. The woman spoke first. "Now, now, my deah 'ittle friend. You cahn make the wehld a Communist society when you'h oldeh." "Vut Comrade, I promeez you I vuld make it more like vas originally meant to be!" "Stop colling us 'Comrade'," The man muttered, shutting his eyes. "You'h nhot in an Ohwell novel." "I hev plan for making et verk for effryvun!" "Excuse me," Cheesemaster said, walking over. "I'm sorry if my young friend interrupted something important, but he hasn't seen any other children his age here at the zoo yet and just wanted someone to talk to..." "Friend to talk to!" the boy shouted happily, escaping from the adult's grasps and running over to Edna, who seemed a little taken aback. He'd only heard of Communism in textbooks, and all his textbooks made it seem bad. "Vell then, eff not mind, zen let us talk. Heff you read any Karl Marx vorks? I heff, end I zee effryvun vho tried en the past failed making ze plan vork! I vill make vork! I vill, I vill, I vill..." Edna took a step back, scratched his head, and looked up at Cheesemaster, helplessly confused. He looked back at the boy, blushed, and showed he didn't know what he was talking about. Suddenly, the three strangers looked behind them when they heard footsteps that sounded like high-heels. "We have to go," Said The woman, and she ran out with the man and boy, muttering something among the lines of "Trigger it soon," and all three ran off and vanished. Edna whimpered, and cleared his throat to keep from crying. "I almost made a new friend, but I failed because I'm not smart enough," He said, whimpering. Cheesemaster picked him up, and was beginning to comfort them when they saw a familiar face-Shirley Locke! "Miss Locke!" Said the boys in unison, and they looked next to her and saw Aloysius Ahrrow standing with her, which confused them, but he smiled at them. "Good to see you boys," He said, and Shirley said the same. "I've been helping Miss Locke here on some recent cases and chronicling them in a notebook, which I'm thinking about publishing as a book. 'The Adventures of Shirley Locke,' I'm thinking of calling it." "Very original," Muttered Cheesemaster sarcastically. "Anyhow, why would you be in Hindenburg?" "I was about to ask you the same very question," Said Aloysius. Shirley reached around in her pocket and grabbed for her pipe. "Dr. Ahrroww, it's very simple; he is here on travel with Leguan and Amara, those two scientists, as well as Miss Dacatis. Leguan recently finished his airship he was for so long working on, and recently got the help of this young man, and the four of them all went for a flight in it before being assaulted by a gun. They traveled by train, and the boys were obviously staying up very late over in Longdon with some shady characters." She lit her pipe and blew a smoke ring into the air, ignoring a No Smoking notice. "He got into a fist fight and won." Aloysius stared at her, dumbfounded, and she laughed. "How did you deduce all that?" He asked her, and she explained. "On his handkerchief, there are wet patches obviously from the steam of the ship; he must have used it to clean off his eyeglasses. His clothes have not been washed or ironed very well apparently, as there are still wrinkles in them from sitting inside of the airship, and a slight indention on the side of his cap from a bullet hole," She explained, motioning towards him to show him where she saw these things. "Sticking out of his paperbag there are tickets for the infamous steam train; underneath his eyes there are some dark circles showing he stayed up very late. And your fists still have the blood of someone on them. I presume no one else has told you, but you smell of the dead, which are frequent in that city, Longdon." She blew another smoke ring in the air, and Aloysius again stared at her. "When you explain it, it's just all so..." "Elementary," Said She. He grinned. "That is exactly the word." "But no matter," She said, her tone suddenly serious. "You haven't seen anyone inside this penguin house, have you?" She asked, putting out her pipe before any park employees caught her using it. "Just a man, woman, and a young boy." "Two Brits and a Russian?" "Exactly that!" Shouted Edna. "And which way did they go?" "That way," Said Cheesemaster, pointing to his left. "Thank you, boys. I hope to see you again," She said, and all four said their farewells before Shirley and Aloysius ran off to find the three strangers they had seen, and left the boys more confused than ever.

Showering, making my lunch for tomorrow, and Wii Fit.

HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY: It's Monty Python if it was a sci-fi novel.

Also, I've been re-watching all my old Disney movies with my younger sister, which has been very enjoyable as well.

I saw Monsters Vs. Aliens with my mom a few weeks back, and I have to say it was excellent, though a bit awkward because there were moments when me and my mom were the only people laughing at the jokes, which referenced things like The Invisible Man, An Inconvienient (sp) Truth, Spaceballs, not to mention Stephen Colbert doing the voice of the President in the movie. I plan to see Star Trek and Angels & Demons soon. I REALLY want to go see Star Trek with some friends, and next Friday on my Birthday 'Up' is coming out and I plan to see it with some friends.

I had this idea for a while now, and finally got around to writing it yesterday. I was inspired when I saw "We Didn't Start This Website" on YTM-I mean another website. I decided to make my own parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire", about the whole of the internet and its memes, comics, cartoons, and websites. Rhyming was really difficult so I could only afford to do it sometimes. In short, not all of it rhymes. Censored for some of the content, I wasn't sure how much I could get away with, so I censored anything I think might not be allowed to say; anyone who's familiar with the memes will know what to fill in, and if not, then the rhymes may help. Homestar Runner, Weebl's Stuff, All your Base Belong to Us YouTube Poop, Shoop Da Woop, Hey don't Tase Me Bro! Dramatic Chipmunk, Hampsterdance, Cap'n Wacky, Songs to Wear Pants [to], Rick Roll, Barrel Roll, Leave Britney Alone Ask a Ninja, Do Not Want, Tubgirl, Goatse, 2 Girls 1 Cup Awesome Plz, O RLY, Peanut Butter Jelly [time], One Red Paperclip, What kind of Fail is This? Pure Pwnage, P--- Bear, Lulz is a corruption of LOL [Chorus] We Didn't Start The Internet It was always messed up since the 'net was set up We Didn't Start the Internet We didn't make the memes though that's the way it seems Oscar Wilde, lolrus, So I herd u liek mudkipz Ninjas, Pirates, Power Thirst, AVGN Numa Numa, Line Rider That's No Good, Rule 34 42, Team Fortress 2, Pingas, AMVs Will it Blend, Nine Thousand, Biting Pear, The World's End Leeroy Jenkins, [Angry] German Kid, Cyanide & Happiness, Chris-Chan, 4chan, Red Vs. Blue, Batman, The Cake's a Lie, You Must Die, I Wanna Be The Guy We Didn't Start The Internet It was always messed up since the 'net was set up We Didn't Start the Internet What was once for business is now serious business My Immortal, Phoenix Wrong, Stupid Mario Bros., Captain Falcon, Norris Facts, Too many memes involving Cats, Sparta, W-- Boom, Brick Testament, Abridged Yu-Gi-Oh, Charlie the Unicorn, The Internet is For P--- (Bridge) Oh, Oh Noes... Chad Vader, Snakes on a Plane, The L33tstr33t Boys and Tay Zonday Chad Warden, Falcon Punch, Chocolate, D--- in a Box TV Tropes, 30 Second Bunnies, Tourette's Guy we all find funny Hi I'm a Marvel, I'm a DC, XKCD, I Came I Saw I Came, I think I just Lost the Game We Didn't Start The Internet It was always messed up since the 'net was set up We Didn't Start the Internet No, it's not our bandwidth, it's just ours to mess with M. Bison, How is Babby Form, That Guy With The Glasses, Pale Force, Potter Puppet Pals, Soviet Russia, and BigAl Lolwut, Caramel Dance, Dr. Horrible, Engrish at last Eating Socks, JeepersMedia, Can't Let You Do That Star Fox- Flame Wars, Camera W-----, I Can't Take it Anymore! We Didn't Start The Internet It was always messed up since the 'net was set up We Didn't Start the Internet Even when we're gone the tubes go on, and on, and on, and on... We Didn't Start The Internet It Was always Messed up since the Net was set up We Didn't start the Internet (etc.) +fifty Internets for whoever can name all of the memes I referenced, and where they come from. No cheating!

[i would really love to play, but it's been some time since I last played D'n'D-last time I played was when my brother's friend Kyle still lived with us-and would like a refresher on the game rules and such...]

Edgar spit on the ground. "I'm trying to quit that, too. My mom always hated it. I hated my mom, too, but that doesn't mean she wasn't right about stuff. Like not smoking, and not swearing." He grabbed a box of cigarettes out of his pocket, and lit one with a raven-engraved Zippo lighter. "But god---- it's hard," He said, as he took a long drag. "Maybe the filth from the cigarettes is making me swear more," He suddenly thought aloud, and then laughed sadly. "You know, we could take you back to Longdon-" "No," Interrupted Edgar. "You're on your vacation, you deserve it. I'll make it home myself. I can color change, remember, and fly, and swim." "But what if the employees catch you?" Edgar took another drag. "Too late," He said coldly. "You may wanna cover the kid's eyes-" Edgar said this as he walked over to the caravan, opened up the door, and three bodies-the same men they had seen take Edgar away earlier-tumbled out. In one of the men's hands was a needle. "They were about to kill me," Said Edgar, as though defending himself for his actions. "I did it in self-defense. I don't even remember that well how it even happened-" He said, thinking for a moment. "I just remember these three dumbshits grabbing me, taking me into my caravan, one guy holding me still, the second guy about to inject me-and the rest is kinda a blur, I...I remember breaking the first guy's grip on me, and when he tried'ta get me again I clutched his hands, breaking his fingers, one by one, ya know, like Rorshach from Watchmen, and then, the second guy-I-I remember him coming up to me-and I looked around-and I reached towards my bookshelf-and I grabbed my biggest book. What was it? Oh yeah-a Bible they gave me. I never read it, 'cause I didn't believe in God, but ---- if the thing isn't huge. It was a vintage family Bible, with the space in the back for Marriages and Funerals. Oh, wait, I remembered-I read the Funerals section. The thing weighed a ton, so I threw it at his head, and his needle flew through the air-say, are you really gonna let the kid listen to this?-and the third guy grabbed it off the floor and was about to come after me. Impaling him-ya know, with my teeth?- would leave a little too much evidence, plus it's a bitch to clean the blood off. I know. I ended up grabbing the needle and jabbing it into his hand, though I cleverly placed it so it looked like he was still holding it and made a mistake and injected himself, though I don't doubt one of these guys woulda done something like that because all three of them are IDIOTS." Cheesemaster and Edna stood there gasping; and here in front of them was a murderer, and he could not be more than fifteen. Yes, there had been Dead Deep, but-Dead Deep, he was...they weren't sure how, but Dead Deep had been different, somehow; possibly because he was older, possibly because he was a zombie (for they wondered if he could really help it), and they were shocked. But at least he fitted perfectly into Longdon. "But as you were saying?" Said the boy, motioning for them to continue. "W-We were just saying that we ought to take you back home to Longdon," Cheesemaster stated again. He made a mental note to quit stuttering when he was afraid. "I already said no," Said Edgar, "But I changed my mind when I remembered that all my books are still at home. So yea. Could you?" Cheesemaster and Edna got up, brushed the dust of the ground off their clothes, and explained that they would need to tell Leguan and Alienfreak (oh, and Kat) about it. "Unless you want to stay with us in the city for today and tomorrow-" "No thanks." "So it's settled," Said Cheesemaster, picking up Edna; "But it'll mean that the five of us will be staying in Hindenburg for even longer than planned now that we have to take the detour. But it will be quite enjoyable." -------------------------------------------- Leguan and Alienfreak, who had gotten a small but unusually clean hotel room for the five of them, where Kat sat intently staring at a sandwich and hot dog she had purchased-the brand of the food being Tofuborrowed Blue; and Cheesemaster was talking over his plans with the scientists-as well as introducing Edgar to them. "That's Kat over there," Said Cheesemaster, pointing at her. Kat said nothing, which was unusual. She usually came over and said something, usually about liking soup. She continued to stare intently at the food. "Hi, Kat. Nice name," He grumbled sarcastically, and muttered a faint "Dumb--- parents" under his breath. "Shut up," Said Kat. "I'm trying to hear." Everyone was quiet for a moment, before Leguan tried unsuccessfully to speak again. "Vat are vyou-" "Shhh," She said, holding her finger up to silence him. "This sandwich is giving me some advice." Edgar groaned. "What the fu-" He was about to say, but Kat shushed him again. They were silent for a while, Cheesemaster whispering into Edgar's ear that this was completely normal, until Kat gasped. "What's wron-" Kat suddenly jumped up out of her chair, ran over, and grabbed Cheesemaster's lapels. Cheesemaster's resounding chorus of "What?" drowned under her talking. "You gotta tell them, Cheesemaster! You gotta tell them! TOFUBORROWED BLUE IS PEOPLE!!!!!" There was a long silence, with Cheesemaster heavily breathing, and then Cheesemaster muttering, "Kat-what the #### is Tofuborrowed Blue?" "It's the brand of these Hot dogs! Not the sandwich though! I knew there was a reason why the Hot Dog spoke funny! It didn't speak in the Food Accent that food normally has!" "Food accent?!" "Yea, the one you have!" "Kat-" Started Cheesemaster, as the other four were obviously quite confused by the situation, "I'm English, of course I talk this way!" "But all food sounds like that, I've found out! All food has an accent! The hot dog did not have an accent! Furthermore I knew it was PEEEEEEEOPPLLLLEEEEE!!!!!!" Edgar slammed his fist down on a nearby table. "I'm going outside for a smoke, you can have your referential psychotic breakdown on your own." "No, Edgar, wait-" "Even I'm not quite this insane." Kat fell back in her chair, before opening up the window and throwing the hot dog out; Cheesemaster and Edna chased Edgar outside, and Kat claimed she was to go and set the Tofuborrowed Blue factory ablaze. --------------------------------------- Cheesemaster and Edna found Edgar outside, hidden behind the building, a cigarette hanging limply out of his mouth beside his tusks. He stared coldly at Cheesemaster, who wondered why all three smoker he knew were cold people (though Roger truly wasn't as cold as Shirley Locke or Edgar; he just acted that way because of his past and present life situations, though for now that isn't important). "Well? You ready to take me back home yet?" "Well yeah, but-how long is the trip to Longdon from here, anyway?" "Maybe a day if we fly-" Said Edgar, and then regretted saying it. "I can't support both'a ya." Cheesemaster wrapped his arms around himself. "What's that supposed to mean?" He said, angrily. "The kid is light enough-" "Are you suggesting something about my weight?" "No, it's just I'm kinda, you know, YOUNGER THAN YOU?!" He shouted, though not to loud so he wouldn't get caught smoking again. Back in Longdon they didn't care...which was bad and good. "Sorry, Mr. King," Apologized Edna. "Mr. Cheesemaster gets angry about this sort of thing, he hates when people make fun of..." Edna trailed off as Edgar began to speak. "I wasn't making fun of him," Defended Edgar. "....but not quite as much as when people make fun of his glasses...." "Like ---- I'd do that!" Said Edgar, his own bespectacled eyes blazing with anger. "...thought maybe a little more than when people make fun of his job..." "Speaking of which-" Said Edgar, and then telling Edna to shush, "What's with the hat? What, are you the paperboy or something?" Cheesemaster glared at Edgar. "...Oh. Sorry." Edna continued his speech earlier: "Though, somewhere in the middle, he hates being made fun of for the way his skin is..." "IT'S MY WHOLE BODY, DOWN TO THE CORE," Cheesemaster gritted monotonously. "Except for my eyes and hair." "...Though really he doesn't like being made fun of in general....but especially the glasses...God help you if-" Edna then remembered Cheesemaster telling Edna, so many months ago, that he was an Athiest, and Edgar telling him earlier that day. "Sorry. I mean, uhm-" Cheesemaster smiled. "It's perfectly fine. You can go ahead and say that." "OK. Thank you. as I was saying, God help you if you make fun of his glasses-" "Come on, Edna. It's not like I'd impale someone in the stomach if they made fun of my glasses," He said, laughing. His expression suddenly grew dark and grim. "If they purposely broke them, however..." "Shut up, you're starting to sound like me. And back to our transportation problem. What are we going to do? Not only that, but if you're the paperboy, then who the ---- is covering for you while you're here?!" -------------------------------------- "Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Shirley Locke solves case of the Missing Bacon in a record ten-minutes!" Cheese Woman, whose normal attire of a ball gown (or Lolita dress, in this weather) had been replaced with clothing she had borrowed from Cheesie's own wardrobe; she hoped he wouldn't mind. "He's got at least five hats, and all of them looked the same!" She marveled, and then decided she would have to call him later, if she could. She's gone the whole way to disguising herself as Cheesemaster-she'd even curled her normally straight hair and worn fake glasses to disguise herself. She was glad Cheesemaster's shirts were baggy, otherwise her secret would be exposed. The only problem was the lack of Edna; so, she secretly got another girl around Edna's age to dress up like him-Sterling! The two of them had to disguise Sterling even more than Cheese Woman; she'd never hear the end of it from Jakob if he knew she was posing as a shoe-shining orphan. But both girls were having difficulty in their pants and dress shoes, as both of them normally wore dresses and heels (Sterling wearing Mary-Jane shoes). Luckily Sterling's hair was already a little curly, so she just had to tuck it up under a cap, and her voice didn't need disguising since Edna's was also high-pitched. Cheese Woman looked over at Sterling, and then asked her; "Doesn't Jakob wonder where you are?" Sterling laughed. "Yes, but when he checks, he'll find someone who looks just like me-" She said, and then laughed, a bit viciously. "Did I ever tell you about my ancestor, Hazel Rabbitt? She looked juuuuust like me as a little girl." "But isn't she-" "Dead? Her spirit lives in our house." Cheese Woman was speechless, though in reality she should not have been surprised, due to all the other creepy things in the Rabbitt Manor (though she did not know even the half of it). The break time eventually came, and Cheese Woman walked inside to call Cheesemaster. ------------------------------------------- Cheesemaster suddenly got a phone call, his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He had set it on vibrate so none of the citizens of Hindenburg would be confused as to the technology he carried, for their phones, including personal and cellular ones, were steam-powered-not electric like the one Cheesemaster had. He picked it up out of his pocket and saw it was "Home". Curious, he answered. It was Cheese Woman. He picked it up, walked away for a moment, talked to her, and then came back after hanging up. "That was-that was my friend," He explained. "She said that she, plus a younger girl I know, are posing as me and Edna." Edgar breathed heavily. "Understandable." "By the way, the lens I gave you-" "Works fine." There was a short silence. "Well, I wasn't sure-" "I'm nearsighted, so don't worry." Cheesemaster smiled shyly. "Glad I brought them, then." "I'm glad, too. All my lenses are back at home. I got a whole stockpile of 'em because I'd fight so much at the Pool Hall at home. You don't have any lens cleaner on you, do you? Left that at home too." Cheesemaster pulled his handkerchief out of his breast pocket-it was in there with his watch, and embroidered with ニール. "What's that mean?" Edgar and Edna asked in unison, looking at it. Cheesemaster's hat brim fell over his eyes, and his face turned red. "Nothing. Just the name of someone-" He cleared his throat, as though thinking of something to say, "Someone gave it to me once. That was their name." Edgar looked at it intently, and then rubbed it over his glasses, before returning it to Cheesemaster. "Finally, can we talk about how we're going to get to Longdon?! We've already wasted a ton of time!" "I told you we could fly there!" "No way I'm carrying a...a...how old are you?" "Seventeen." "No way I'm carrying a seventeen year old and his, uh, five years old friend." "Then how do you propose we get there? I haven't the money to spend on another train ticket, all my money is for the trip. You can't stay with us because since you attacked those people everyone's looking for you, unless you hide." "I would do that, if I had my books with me, but they're all at my house back in Longdon." "Then I guess we'll have to leave soon." "HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THERE?" "By flying there!!" "I'm not carrying you!" Cheesemaster groaned. Edgar also groaned. "Let me see if I can carry you." Cheesemaster, quite awkwardly, looked at Edgar's quill-covered back. Edgar sighed, and Cheesemaster gasped as he retracted them; but now that it was safe, Cheesemaster, quite awkwardly he must admit, climbed onto Edgar's back and hoped no fangirls would take screencaps of him. Edgar's black wings grew out of his back, and Edna climbed up onto Cheesemaster's shoulders. Edgar's wings began to flap, and he did get off the ground-rather quickly. He then went back to the ground, though he didn't seem tired. "Fine, fine, I'll carry both of you," Edgar muttered, sounding unsatisfied, "But when we get to Longdon, you have to promise that you'll stay one night there with me." "Wait a minute-" "I'll take you back here when you want to, and then I'll fly back home after that. Got all that? Good, let's go." "But wait-" But it was no use. Edgar had taken off, apparently not bothered by carrying two people on his back. ------------------------------------------- Cheesemaster had thought it impossible, but it was; Edgar had transported them from Hindenburg to Longdon in a lesser amount of time than the train. Well, lesser by about ten minutes...but it was still a difference. Night had fallen, and it made the already spooky town of Longdon even spookier. "First, I want to go to my house; then we'll be heading over to The Raven's Nest/'Salem's Lot Bar plus Pool Hall." "But there are no pool halls in 'Salem's Lot," Mumbled Cheesemaster, but Edgar didn't seem to hear him. Cheesemaster picked up Edna and cradled him, as so he wouldn't get scared, and they began the walk to Edgar's house, which seemed to take forever; Edna again said that he swore he saw eyes in the windows of the abandoned buildings, and even when they came across a building that wasn't abandoned, it didn't make him feel better-even if the lights were on inside. "We're here," Said Edgar loudly, startling the boys, as Edgar had not said anything the entire way, and as the boys had been jumping at every shadow and every noise, they were quite shocked to hear him speak. "Oh-I see-I see, this is your house," Stuttered Edna. Edgar shot him a sharp glance. "Don't. Stutter," Edgar said sternly, and Edna could only nod and mutter "Yes, Sir," Edgar took a set of keys out of his pocket and opened up the rickity gate, leading them into the yard of his run-down house. The house was not abandoned obviously, but you could have swore it was; as stated, the gate was run-down and squeaked as Edgar opened it; the wrought-iron bars were bent and looked as though a large animal had attempted to tear through them more than one time. It looked as though he succeeded in a few spots of the fence. The house and yard themselves were no better; The yard was overgrown, with no flowers or even any green grass. It was dark so they couldn't really see, but the grass seemed as though it had died long ago. It was horribly trampled down in some places. Weeds covered the entire yard as well, and if you were not careful you may fall into a small ditch. The house was worn-down and weather-stained, with peeling grey wood and a roof with very little tiles left, and those still there were faded red. The boys walked into the overgrown yard, as Edgar warned them were there were holes. "I used to fill the holes back up again," He said, "And the roof and exterior used to look OK. But the roofer and the wall-painters in this town moved away, and I can't be damned to do it myself. Oh, and I'd know if they died; if they died, they'd still be able to do my roof and walls." Edna and Cheesemaster exchanged glances, but ignored the comment as Edgar led them around to the backyard, again taking care not to fall. Eventually Edgar led them to a small doghouse, which was as old and rotted as the bigger house. The back door was right next to the doghouse, and a small cat-flap was installed into the door. Cheesemaster took a glance at the doghouse, and the name printed on the top over the entry and on the dog-dish was the same. "Cujo," Said Edgar proudly. "My dog." Cheesemaster gasped and nearly dropped Edna. "Now who in their right mind names their dog CUJO?!" He asked. "I do," Said Edgar nonchalantly. "He's the one who caused all the holes in the lawn. He sometimes tries to tear up the fence too. I have a cat, too. His name is Churchill, but I call him Church." "I am going to take a guess here and assume you did not name him after the man himself." Edgar nodded, and was about to say something when Edna clung tighter to Cheesemaster. "I hear a scary noise!!" He whimpered, and the three were quiet, and Cheesemaster nodded as he heard a digging sound. He heard it directly behind him, but refused to see and look what it was; besides, Edgar ran to the direction of the sound and seemed to have the situation under control. "Cujo, how many times have I told you to not go chasing rabbits down into holes?! You know that's a bad thing to do! Remember what happened last time?! Bad dog!!!" Cheesemaster could only stare at Edgar, who was now dragging the large dog out of a Rabbit Hole, in sheer amazement. Edgar chained up his dog, wiped the dirt off his hands and onto his pants, and turned to face the boys again. "Well, I think we ought to get going soon, assuming you want to get back to Hindenburg by morning." The boys said nothing, with Edna trying not to glance back at Edgar's house, as Edgar led them through the dark city. Off in the distance the boys heard some faint sound of civilization, and eventually the sound got louder as they realized they were almost to the bar-plus-pool-hall that Edgar had described; the two buildings, which looked horridly out of place due to the obvious amount of people inside being very loud; Edgar looked around and Edna. Cheesemaster caught on to what he was thinking. "Is Edna too young to come inside?" "No, no. I'll tell them he's a psychic and he'll be fine." Cheesemaster believed him as they walked into the large, black building, the sound instantly growing deafening upon opening the door, even though they were just in a hallway leading to the bar and pool hall areas and not in the actual area with the people-so they couldn't even imagine how loud it would be once they got in there. Standing behind a rotted wooden podium was a tall, sophisticated-looking man wearing a clean black coat and vest. He recognized Edgar, and suspiciously eyed Cheesemaster and Edna. "They're with me," Said Edgar. "The child is not to be admitted," The man said, his voice monotonous. "Come on," Pleaded Edgar, and he leaned over and whispered something into his ear. Cheesemaster caught the word "Shining" and already knew what he was saying. "Fine, fine, he can come in. But please, make sure he doesn't summon up any vicious spirits. We had problems before in the past." "I won't," Edna said quietly, but he knew he had not been heard among the noise, which was beyond deafening once they were in the actual area. The room was large; there had once been a wall separating the bar and pool hall when the establishments had been separate entities, but now the wall had been removed; There were old, rotted stairs in the corner, and a pair of shoes nailed to one of the steps. The upstairs floor was completely shrouded in darkness. An elevator stood next to the doorway, and Cheesemaster advised Edna to NOT take the elevator should they need to. In the second area, what was the pool hall, there were neon signs advertising exotic beers and wines from around the universe, plus three classic Billiards tables; Cheesemaster smiled and whispered to Edgar he would have to play some. The Bar area was enormous and extended all the way down the wall of both buildings. People sat in the booths, which were ripped up and often stained. The actual customers themselves were quite creepy: Many looked normal aside from a curious pale shade of skin (vampires!), or more hair then usual (werewolves!), or demonic horns/tails/wings (Demons or Succubi!), and they even saw a man with a dog's head in one booth. They thought he was an Anthro at first, but he had no tail and had completely human hands. Perhaps it was a mask, but they'd never know. Edgar sat down at a table near a Billiards Table, where Edna sat on Cheesemaster's lap and Edgar lit up a cigarette, adding to the already large amount of choking smoke that filled the building, and mixed with the smell of alcohol and illicit drugs, proving for an unpleasant experience already. Cheesemaster was about to order a drink (a soda, of course!) when he heard that same familiar female's voice again; and in front of him, behind Edgar, was Blood Queen, who was sitting on the edge of the Billiards table, dressed in a blood-red skimpy shirt and skirt, with her demon-like tail and wings fully on display. Dead Deep was leaning over the edge of the table, trying to hit a ball, a cigar hanging limply out of his mouth as he did. Cheesemaster noticed for the first time how very uneven his shoulder were. At hearing his girlfriend call a name he looked up and smiled his sadistic smile at Cheesemaster. "How wonderful to see you again," He said, moving his tongue over his teeth like he had last time they met. Cheesemaster smiled at him, knowing he was safe from getting eaten...a first. Edna shivered, and Cheesemaster patted his back gently to remind him he was OK. Dead Deep stood up from leaning over the billiards table and walked over to them, grabbing himself a seat. Blood Queen followed suite, though she stood. Cheesemaster noticed quite a few men gawking at her as she walked by; he frowned, but she seemed to be enjoying it. Dead Deep's large eye grew even larger as he stared at Edna and Cheesemaster, and then at Edgar. "How nice to see you again, King," He said, again moving his tongue over his teeth. "I heard they captured you and took you to put on display over in Hindenburg. Edgar took a long drag on his cigarette, and then threw it into the ashtray. "Yea, these two here saved me!" He said, pointing to Cheesemaster and Edna. "he and his buddies were the only ones NOT makin' fun of me, or the other guys workin' there." "REALLY?!" Shouted Dead Deep, sounding both sarcastic and surprised somehow. He got a few stares but the room was still incredibly loud. He stood up, grabbed Cheesemaster's arm, and flung him up, with Cheesemaster just grabbing Edna. Dead Deep held his arm in the air and called for everyone's attention, and he got it; for Dead Deep was, although the boys did not know it-how shall I put this-he was the most 'experienced' of everyone in the room. Now, by no means the oldest or tallest; the oldest would definitely go to any given vampire in the room, and tallest more than likely would go to a demon. But Dead Deep had been a loyal customer of the place ever since he came to Invision; it wasn't many years, but it seemed like a great many to the others, since most had only come to Invision very recently, in the past year or two. Dead Deep's accent (Brooklyn-esqe, but it actually came from a Dreamtopian city known solely, oddly enough, as 1, 234, 567-One wonders what its residents call themselves?) "Hey, everybody-This heah kid saved the loife of ah one and only Edgar Alan King!" He said, and he motioned for Edgar to stand up too. "See, Edgar has returned from the clutches of those side-shows over in Hindenburg!" He announced, "By these two!" The room suddenly imploded with applause, but was stopped by the lone voice of outcry: in the middle of the cheering, a man yelled "IT'S A LIE!" And Dead took a look to see who it was. It had been a man, whom the boys could not tell the species of, who stood up. Dead Deep loosened his grip on Cheesemaster's arm, and eventually let go of it. "Who the ---- is this?!" He shouted, pointing accusingly at Cheesemaster and Edna. "Some nobody I ain't never seen around Longdon and some little kid?! I'm not gonna believe that this four-eyes saved Edgar." Cheesemaster placed Edna on the lap of Edgar, much to his dismay; but he had no time to complain, as he saw Cheesemaster's eyes go white with rage. "Excuse me?" He muttered, the entire room silent. Cheesemaster slowly walked forward, until he was about two feet in front of the stranger. "What was that you just called me?" "What the #### is your deal?!" Said the stranger, mockingly, "A book, hanky, and watch in your pocket?! What are you, some kind of book-reading -----?!" Cheesemaster said nothing, his hands in his pockets. "We don't like your kind in this town! Go back to Hindenburg, newsie-I'll bet you can't even throw a punch, four-eyes." "Call me that again," Cheesemaster muttered. The stranger took a several steps back, but not out of fear; he leaned down and Cheesemaster saw he was rolling up a punch. "I...said...you're...a....FOUR-EYES!!" The stranger charged his punch, and then came swinging full force at Cheesemaster. "Can I throw a punch?" Repeated Cheesemaster, quietly, as the stranger came lurching towards him. "I'LL SMASH YOUR GLASSES INTO YOUR FACE!!" "Can I Throw a punch...?" Cheesemaster said again, more questioningly this time. The stranger was a few inches in front of Cheesemaster when people suddenly heard something like the sound of something shattering. Dead Deep, Edgar, and Edna gasped; his glasses- A splatter of blood went up in the air, and they looked at it in confusion. Cheesemaster's blood was not red human blood-it was orange-yellow cheese blood. They looked, and saw the stranger, his face with a fist imprint in the side of it, two teeth by his head, blood pouring out of his mouth. Cheesemaster was just beside him, one leg on his back, looking down at him with not a drop of mercy in his eyes. The stranger was still alive; his breaths came slow and heavy, but painful-sounding; and the people realized it had not been Cheesemaster's glasses that were the source of the shattering noise; it was the stranger's jaw. Cheesemaster turned the man's body over, as he slowly opened his eyes to see Cheesemaster staring at him with those unmerciful eyes. He gasped, and then coughed, with blood coming out. Cheesemaster grabbed the stranger's collar, and said to him in a voice that matched his eyes, "I don't take very kindly to rude comments about my eyesight," He said. And then he yelled, "If that's too much for your weak mind to understand, then here's the short version: DON'T CALL ME FOUR-EYES!!!" He said, just barely picking the man up and hauling him back to where he was sitting, where his friends had watched in awe. Dead Deep, for the first time since they met him, was wearing an expression that did not read 'sadistic'; he was completely shocked. Cheesemaster walked over, acting as though nothing had happened, as the room, after some cheers, went back to normal. Dead Deep stared in astonishment. "Do you even REALIZE what you just did?" "I punched someone for making fun of my glasses," He sighed. "I promised I wouldn't do that anymore..." Edgar had leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Daaaaaaaaaaaang....kid wasn't kidding when he said you were serious when people made fun of you." "DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST BEAT UP?!" Shouted Blood Queen, and Cheesemaster shook his head. "That was a Chimera! A chimera of a Vampire and Werewolf! Do you know how powerful they are?! That guy could have eaten you!" "I'm made of cheese," He laughed; "If I wasn't friends with them I'd make a great vampire or zombie hunter." [that chapter contained more foreshadowing than what I think may be legal D: and I'd recommend that you guys NOT translate that Japanese text.]

Hey, I remember you, you were around back when I first joined the boards.

I recently finished Richard Adam's book 'Watership Down' book, and here is my review: GO READ WATERSHIP DOWN

[F'REAL AWESOME REFERENCES IN THIS CHAPTER. believe it.] The group walked outside into the streets of Hindenburg, it was already past Noon and the sun was beginning to set; Leguan was throughly excited and politely asked if they could stay and watch the gas-lamps be lighted. "We can't really do that," said Cheesemaster, who was clutching Kat's collar so she wouldn't attack anyone, particularly any families in their carriages (Kat was confusing them for Amish, aka her heroes, for she liked their beards and hats), and had to have Alienfreak explain to her that they were NOT Amish folks. "I wonder why the Rabbitts don't live here?" Wondered Alienfreak aloud, and then she suddenly gasped. "My God, Leguan, I just thought-" "Vat?" He said, and she motioned for him to lean in closer, and she whispered to him, "Is it socially acceptable for me and Kat to be dressed like this?" Leguan thought for a long time. "Kat von't mind, though zat doesn't make it acceptable to ze people here. I vill talk to her. Vyou may vant to vear a skirt." "OK, I brought one just in case...I'll just button up my coat for now..." After that, Leguan and Cheesemaster got the group going again so they could get to their hotel, while also thinking as to why the Rabbitts didn't live here. It was a reasonable question-after all, the story they came from was set in this very time period. Yet they preferred to live in The Port of Cheese, which was more of a mix between their time and the modern time. But as much as this confused them, They would have to wait until their vacation was over to ask the Rabbitt family. Cheesemaster kneeled, and the others followed (after Leguan gave a small lecture about how the people of this town had remained unchanged for many years, and the ladies would have to be careful. It wasn't as thought the women had no rights in the town, it was more socially acceptable if they were the clothing of the times), they asked Edna what he wanted to do. "I sink ve should all take turns deziding vat to do," Suggested Leguan. "Well, if we're going to do that, then I believe Alienfreak and Kat should pick first." "Vell, I vas going to go by age, but zat es fine too." "I'm the youngest woman," Said Kat, "And I want to go to a freak show." Cheesemaster's brow furrowed. "Well-I...'m not sure if I approve of those-" "Shut your stupid mouth, it's fun," Said Kat accusingly. "And you better not ruin it by scientifically explaining the various conditions each of the freaks have. I'm talking to all three of you scientist-types, with your big words and complicated theories. GOD!!!" The scientists laughed, and then searched out to see if there even were any side-shows in town. ------------------------------------------- There was; in fact, a whole tent-full of 'em. Genuine specimens from the city of Longdon, they claimed. Cheesemaster looked on in disapproval. "For all we know, the Longdonians were taken against their will to preform here," He said. "Like slaves." "Shut up," Snapped Kat. "If they're from Longdon, that means they are indeed genuine," Commented Alienfreak. "Usually these sorts of shows are full of fakes." "Thing is-" Said Cheesemaster, tipping his hat down to his face and pulling his gloves out of his newspaper bag, "I'm afraid of the way Kat and I may be treated here." Leguan thought for a moment, and then looked over at Kat. "Kat, vyou may vant to tuck vyour ears under vyour hat, and vyour tail inside your clothes." Kat's ear twitched. "Now why the fork would I want to do that?" "And Cheesemazter, vyou may juzt vant to vear your gloves like zat, and pozzibly vyour scarf if vyou heff et." "I do," He said. "I'm glad I wore pants instead of shorts." "Vell, let's go en, vready or not." The five of them payed for their tickets and went on inside, where they were allowed to gawk at all the human oddities they wanted to; however, unlike most of the other customers, they treated it more as a learning experience. At least, everyone but Kat. "Seems a lot of these are anthros-" Said Alienfreak after glancing at a few. "But still interesting. Cat and Dog anthros have bored me," She said, as she examined a few anthros of octopi, spiders, and Unearthly animals she had never before seen. "Mr. Cheesemaster, come look at this-" Shouted Edna, and he came over to see what he was yelling about. "My Goodness," Said Cheesemaster, grinning, "Why, I've never seen an anthropomorphic object before," He said, as the two looked at a man who seemed as though he was part broom. Kat laughed, but Cheesemaster got angry with her and gave her a good punishment. They finally got to the end of the long hall, that had different oddities displayed either live or in dead, stuffed bodies (How frightfully awful, they thought), and at the end of the hall was a performance room; in here, the freaks, the live ones, would be coming out to show off some of their special abilities. "Why not make an interactive version of these?!" Kat suddenly suggested. "Then I could join in without actually joining in." The five of them sat down and waited for the show to start, and it did before long. They were all disappointed to see most of the performers were just magicians who used their magic in funny ways-such as fire or ice breathing, or transforming parts of themselves into an element, an ability they hadn't seen much. Leguan was upset to find they were the only five clapping at their talents. The show was actually quite a bit darker then they imagined; some of the people showcased in the performance included anthros of dangerous animals, werewolves, many vampires, and others. Cheesemaster hoped Dawn would never have to be a part of this show; and then he wondered what Jakob would think. Jakob did consider Dawn a freak of nature, but he'd more than likely be livid if she joined this sort of act. Finally, the Performance Room grew quiet as an old-timey show voice came on, announcing their newest addition to their selection of freaks-a Chimera, their first, and it had Human in the blend of animals. The five of them waited in awe, and then were shocked to find what it really was: A young boy, possibly about the same age as MK; he wore thick glasses, had the ears of a Panda (and the same eye marks), the tail of a Ferret, Quills on his back like a porcupine, and from what his act displayed, he also had the color-change powers of a Chameleon and could spin webs (and walk) like that of a spider. All of five of them were awed and excited at him, and cheered and clapped-but then stopped when someone threw an object at the boy; a fruit. A few people gasped; mostly regulars who came to the show often. The group didn't know it, but visitors didn't usually throw things at the freaks. The boy shoved the fruit off of his clothes ("Decidedly normal considering most of the freaks wore body suits," Observed Alienfreak), but you could see rage in his eyes. Then another food object hit him, staining his clothes this time, he wiped it off, but did not continue performing like last time. He stood there, just...stood there. Suddenly, a shoe hit him square in the face; he didn't fall backwards, and at first the group thought he was alright; but then they heard the tinkle of glass falling to the floor, and Cheesemaster gasped in incredible horror. One lens of the boy's glasses had been shattered. Cheesemaster looked in horror, but also with sympathy; he knew how the boy felt, people gawking at him like that, and then smashing up his glasses with no regard for how he felt. He stood up and looked behind him-his own bespectacled eyes full of rage. He knew he shouldn't be getting so upset; he'd promised not to. He'd made it his New Year Resolution not to get angry anymore. But this made him forget all of that. "Who threw that at him?!" He shouted, and a feeble young child, not much older than Edna, stood up. Cheesemaster glared at him. "How could you do that to him?! Shattering his-His spectacles like that, it's like you took out one of his eyes!" The child said nothing. "I would know because I've had mine broken too!" Cheesemaster was about to say more, but was interrupted by a horrid roar and a terrified scream, the first sound he heard emitted from the child, as the Chimeric Freak had charged up into the stands and was now attacking the child with giant, Walrus-like Tusks; these of course made him look even MORE ridiculous then his other Chimeric qualities had, so people laughed at him; that is, until he attacked them as well. Everyone ran screaming out of the room, save for the five-after all, they had defended him and cheered for him, so he had no reason to attack them. Soon enough, it was just them and the boy, who looked at them with glaring eyes. They did not act their fear; for they knew it would upset him. Cheesemaster put his hand inside of his newspaper bag and slowly climbed the seats up to him. Once he had walked over to him, Cheesemaster reached into his bag, and grabbed another, smaller plastic bag; out of it he pulled a lens. "Your glasses-" He stammered, not daring to reach for the boy's own glasses, "I don't know if you-if you've got the same condition as me-" The boy snatched the lens out of his hands, turned around, and then turned back around with the new lenses in his specs. He said nothing; Cheesemaster smiled at him. "My-my young friend over there-" He said, and pointed towards Edna, "He enjoyed the show the most." The boy said nothing. Cheesemaster motioned towards Kat, who was about to reveal her ears and tail, when suddenly some of the employees of the show came in, and handcuffed the boy, causing him to scream and shout. "No! You musn't do that-!" Shouted Cheesemaster, but it was hopeless; they had already taken him away. The performance hall was silent, and outside they could hear the rush of terrified guests being shoved outside; a major health hazard, and the group did not doubt that a person might be injured in the crowd crush. Suddenly, Edna whimpered. "What if they give that poor boy a shot that kills him?" He said, and he tried very hard not to cry. Leguan picked him up, and Edna put his head on his vest, which was hand-made by Leguan and very soft. "Don't worry, Edna," said Kat; "At least you're not on fire. Trust me, I know. I was on fire once. I lost all my friends because they died of third-degree burns when they hugged me, and I lost all my belongings because they would catch on fire when I used them. But then I got better, and realized the joys of not being on fire." She said, and did a pose. "But I still enjoy the occasional game of Fire Tag, where me and some buddies throw alcohol over each other and throw matches. But don't take my word for it; life is much better when you're not on fire. I'm clean now, but sometimes I go to sleep, thinking everything is fine-" Suddenly, there was a roar from the next room they recognized as the scream of the boy, and then a piece of the ten tore away, and the group looked in terror as flames began to lick the ceiling. "GOD **** IT, I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR FIVE MONTHS WITH NOT EVEN ONE GAME OF FIRE TAG AND THIS HAPPENS TO ME?!" Screamed Kat, and Edna jumped down, and began to focus. "Hold on, I know a water PSI power!" He said, but Cheesemaster grabbed his arm anyway, and ran faster than Edna had ever seen him before. The scientists picked up Kat, who was still rabbling on about Not Being on Fire and the joys it brings, ran into the hallway where the freaks were displayed; and there they saw a horrifying sight. The freaks were still in their respective cages where one looked at them, screaming for help. The employees had not let them out. Cheesemaster looked on in rage, and then sent Edna down. He leaned down to look Edna straight in the eye, but not before yelling at the scientists to get themselves and Kat OUT. They did so, and then Cheesemaster took Edna's shoulders, and Edna saw possibly the saddest and most frightened look he had ever seen in his friend's eyes, as the flames behind Edna reflected in his glasses. "Edna, we'll need to get these people out. You need to try that water power of yours. Don't under any circumstance try Ice or Wind. I'm counting on you." Edna understood the urgency of the situation, and agreed. Cheesemaster stood up, unsheathed his Katana, and began breaking open the bars of the cages; Edna was amazed, but had no time to be. He quickly tried to focus himself, despite the noise around him. PK Bubbles! Edna whispered it to himself, and soon, large watery bubbles appeared and popped around the flames, doing little to change it. Cheesemaster looked behind him at Edna in desperation as he hurried the freaks out. Edna whimpered and tried something else. He didn't know any more water attacks; he would have to try though. PK Wave! That was the ticket; a large wave (an ocean wave luckily, for a sound wave or earthquake would have been completely useless and possibly only have caused more damage), and the water from the wave quickly put out the fires. Cheesemaster stood there, his katana back in the holder, hands on knees, panting. He looked up at Edna and smiled at him, and in between breaths, he said, "Thank you, Edna. You saved those people's lives." Edna looked at him sincerely. "No, you saved them; you freed them from the cages. They were being held there like prisoners." The two of them walked out of the tent, to an enormous crowd of people; he found many people taking photographs of him with their primitive, 19th-Century Cameras, and was surprised at it. The boys got compliments on how they had put out the fire; of course, no compliments on how they saved the freaks from anyone except their friends. Suddenly, Edna remembered, and he tried to shout above the noise, "Where is that freak that attacked the people?" He said, cringing at the word 'Freak'. A voice answered, "Should be round the tent!" And the boys ran off; Kat then stood in their place and gave a lengthy speech on the Pros of Not Being on Fire, and an account of how Not Being on Fire saved her life from spiraling into misery. ------------------------------------------ The boys ran around, and found, to their surprise, no employees; they assumed they had all gone round front to get people to stand back from the fire so none would be injured. They looked around for a sign of the boy. "Hello? Anyone back here?" Shouted Edna, and finally got the reply of, "No one but me." They looked to where the voice came from, and there was the boy-a cigarette hanging limply out of his mouth, leaning on one leg. He almost reminded the boys of Dead Deep. "Oh, it's you-we were looking for you." Said Edna, smiling. The boy muttered "Hmph." "Is something wrong?" "Nothing. I'm angry." "I'm sorry." "Don't be." Cheesemaster then stepped forward, removed his gloves and scarf, and revealed his cheesy body to the boy, who gasped. "What happened to you?!" "I-I was made this way," Said Cheesemaster-he sounded as though he had been fumbling for the answer. The boy took a drag on the cigarette. "Look, I-I appreciate what you did today. I didn't expect people to cheer me on." "It's OK. We actually came here as a learning experience." The boy said nothing for a while, but then said, "I'm known as Edgar Allen King. Or Eddie Allen King." Cheesemaster cocked his head. "That's a very nice name. Mine's Cheesemaster, and this is-" "Charles Cornelius Edna, believe it or not, Or Edna." Cheesemaster giggled. "I really do like your name." "Yours is weird." He giggled again. The boys sat down on the ground, with Edgar putting out his cigarette in the dirt. "I'm trying to quit, you know." Cheesemaster nodded. "That must seem strange, a kid as young as me smoking?" He shook his head. "I know two other smokers-granted, they're old enough to smoke..." "Roger and Shirley," Said Edna, "Though I wouldn't be surprised if Dead Deep smoked too. It doesn't hurt him 'cause he's dead." "I knew Dead Deep, back in Longdon. We would hang out at The Raven's Nest-that's the pool hall-and next door was Salem's Lot, that's the bar. There were a lot of stoners there. Eventually the two buildings got bought-the lady owning the Pool Hall and the dude owning the bar got married, or something-and the two building got connected. Kept the names though." "Considering your name it's quite ironic you'd choose those places to hang out at," Said Cheesemaster. "I get that a lot," Breathed Edgar. "Dead would be there with that crazy *****-Diana-" "Dana," Corrected Edna. "Dana. The succubus. Everyone was always saying they wanted to get her rocks off with her, but she was psychotic, even by Longdon standards. Did you know her nail polish is made of blood?" "No guesses as to how she replaces it," Muttered Cheesemaster. Edna giggled nervously, and Edgar smiled for the first time. "Nice to see the kid likes dark humor." Edna sighed. "I like any kind of humor." Edgard sighed again. Suddenly, Cheesemaster hastily asked, "Did they force you to come here?" Edgar nodded. "I knew it," He muttered, his hand curling into a fist. "How awful..." "Yea, this town, it's-It's kinda neat, for history, but I just want to be back in Longdon. No one thinks I'm a freak or a psycho there. No dumb***** try to come and tranquilize me when I go crazy on someone. Hey, I got into fights all the time at the Pool Hall-" "Over what?" Edgar was silent for a moment, pushing his glasses up his nose. "They called me 'Four-Eyes'," He said; "Or Chimera-Boy-just replace 'Chimera' with any of the animals I am." "I'm sorry." "Yea, kinda sucks none of the animals I am are actually acceptable in that town-except the spider, and I don't have enough of that to get respect. Oh, wait-" He said, and he leaned forward; two black winged manifested behind him, coming out of the quills. "I have raven, too. It makes me able to swim, fly, and run. You know I have fish in me too. I can breathe underwater." "You could live anywhere!" Said Edna, excitedly. "Yea," said Edgar sadly. "But I prefer Longdon. When I learned I had Spider and Raven in me, I was happy-the fights decreased after that, and decreased even more when I showed them that giant walrus tusks may be ridiculous-looking, but you don't **** with them. And you don't **** with me." Edna smiled shyly. "You seem like a nice enough guy-but please don't curse so much around me. I'm only five years old." This chapter brought to you by the Association for Not Being on Fire

The next morning Cheesemaster woke up, and at first panicked when his glasses were not on his face; for he clearly remembered having had them on when he fell asleep. But then Edna reassured him and showed him that they were on the table. "Silly, you always take off your glasses before you sleep." Said Edna, laughing. Cheesemaster smiled at him, and saw that they were still about five hours away from Hindenburg, and the train would be making a short stop in the city of Longdon, so the previous train driver could rest and a new one could take over, among other various unimportant reasons. The train slowly came to a stop, and Leguan and Alienfreak said they would be going out to take more looks at the train's outside, and possibly to view the workers putting more coal into the train. Kat was still asleep. Cheesemaster and Edna decided to explore town, as they had never been to Longdon before. Longdon was a very small, bleak town to the south-west of the Port of Cheese. To the South-East of Longdon was Hindenburg. The town of Longdon was a place neither of the boys had been to before, but from the looks of it they were not sure if it was a good thing. Yes, a new town you have never been to is always a good thing, but the town looked-it looked spooky, especially for Edna, who clung to Cheesemaster. The majority of the houses in Longdon were either black or red. The sky above them was very grey, which they did not recall seeing when they had been on the train that morning. The air was dead, and the noise was few; the buildings were mostly boarded up, but you could see the tags and pictures made with spray-paint. Cheesemaster loved to look at the graffiti, but he didn't have time to look at it-nor did he want to, as much of it was far too inappropriate for young Edna. Every so often the boys would hear a muffled noise or sound coming from inside a building; Edna swore he saw eyes in the windows. "Edna, I think this town may be abandoned," Cheesemaster whispered, in the way one whispers when in a very quiet place because you do not want to disturb the silence. Edna stifled a nervous giggle, and said, "This is the loudest silence I've ever heard." The boys continued to walk, and the evidence that the town was abandoned began to decrease, as they saw that some of the stores and restaurants were open; they all had names like "Raven's Nest", "The Abyss", and "Ebony" (a piano shop). The boys began to see a few bodies and faces in the windows of these stores, and realized the town must be waking up. "I don't think so," Said Edna, after the boys stopped and saw a woman in a black vinyl jumpsuit turn her store sign from "Open" to "Closed". Cheesemaster wondered what exactly was going on in Longdon, but had little time to think, as he heard a familiar female voice from nearby. "Well, if it isn't four-eyes and No-Parents", said The Blood Queen; Cheesemaster's head cocked to the side, and he looked at her. Dana was sitting in a dark purple and red Hearse, with an older-looking boy sitting next to her. "Four-Eyes?!" Shouted Cheesemaster, breaking the awful silence. "No-Parents?" Moped Edna. "**** it Dana-" He shouted. "Don't call me Dana!" She said mockingly, her facing twisting into a sour look. "Don't make fun of my eyesight and I won't, Dana!!" Suddenly, the boy/man (he looked like he was perhaps reaching his twenties) jumped out of his seat and jumped onto the back part of the Hearse. His appearance shocked Cheesemaster and nearly made Edna jump. The man was tall, and impossibly thin-unhealthily thin. His blondish-greyish hair was fraying and fell in tatters over the man's grey, lifeless eyes, one of which was far, far larger then the other, as was the eyebrow above the bigger eye. His mouth was twisted into a sadistic smile. He wore a long, white coat, covered in brown stains-which, if you took the time to examine, you would find are the stains of embalming fluid. His lapel read "S.M. MORGUE" as did the back of his coat, which read the phrase in enormous black letters. He wore small sunglasses that teetered on the edges of his hooked nose. "Come on, babe-don't make fun of him for his specs. Might as well tease me too," He said, not looking at Dana once. He leaned his head down, and glared at Cheesemaser. "But look, kiddo. Don't call my babe 'Dana' ever again. Got that? It ****** her off big time. And she gets pretty nasty when she's *****." Cheesemaster nodded; he was not afraid of either of them. "If you'll pardon my asking-" said Cheesemaster, and sensed in the man's eyes that behind them he was laughing at his formal tone, "-Who are you?" The man moved his tongue around his teeth. "Dan Deep," He said, "Dan 'Dead' Deep. But never call me Dan, got that kiddo?" "Don't call me kiddo," Said Cheesemaster, "I'm a legal adult next year." Dead Deep (as he preferred to be called) let out a single "Heh," His expressions barely moving. "I'm Queenie's boyfriend-" He said, as she grabbed for his hand, and Dana interjected "He became my sanity so we'd never leave each other's side." "Then where was he the other times I've see you, Blood Queen?" He said, cringing at her nickname. Dead Deep blinked. "As a sanity, I can go into that jellyfish form and curl up in Queenie's psyche when I'm gettin' tired," He said. "'Course I don't get tired the way you living folk do." "Living folk-? What-?" "Know why I worked at a morgue back at home in SummerMeadows?" He said, SummerMeadows being the city Dana (as well as Vanilla and other friends) had gone to Magic School. Edna moved in closer to Cheesemaster. Dead Deep cocked his head so his large eye was the only one looking at the boys. He moved his tongue over his teeth and lips, and in a stereotypical zombie movie voice, he groaned "....Brraaaaaaaaains." Cheesemaster took a step back, and Edna whimpered. Dead Deep moved his head so he was facing the boys frontward again. "Delicious. I especially love the ones of you big brainy types. Full of nutrients. I could cheat in school just by eating the brain of one big-brained honor student, or a professor," He said. "If I went to school." Cheesemaster narrowed his eyes. "Well my brain is made of cheese. You can't eat it." "Don't be so hard on yourself," Muttered Dana. "Cheese? Haven't had that since....in years," He said, trying to remember when he last had a big block of cheese. His gaze turned back to Cheesemaster. "That's too bad. I was kind of looking forward to eating the big brain of the gentlemanly engineer," He said, disappointed. His gaze then fell upon Edna. "A child? Well, look at 'im, Queenie...he's absolutely terrified." He muttered, and Dana looked. She smirked. "That's just Edna," She said, and then she added, in a sadistic, cruel way as she stroked Dead Deep's thin arm, "He's a psychic." Dead Deep let a muffled "Hrm?" and glared at Edna again from above the rims of his sunglasses. He smiled a wide smile that caused Edna to whimper. "Ha!" He shouted, as he climbed out of the back of the Hearse. He glared at Edna with his one larger eye. "A psychic, huh?" He said again. "What a rarity!" He said, and moved his tongue over his teeth again. His expression said 'What a delicacy!'. "They're the ones that use their brains, kinda like magic, right, except it ain't?" He asked Dana. Cheesemaster and Edna noticed for the first time that he spoke as though he were from Brooklyn-and wondered if an area that produced similar accents existed on Dreamtopia. Dead Deep spoke with his girlfriend for some time, but were suddenly stopped when the boys heard Leguan and Alienfreak calling them. "Vat are vyou two doing?!" Shouted Leguan, the two scientists running up next to the boys, taking no notice of Dead Deep, who was still sitting on top of the Hearse and was beginning to salivate as he looked at Alienfreak, wearing her lab coat, and Leguan, with his specially outfitted goggles. "Vat are vyou doing out here?!" Shouted Leguan again, "Don't vyou realize vat a dangerous town zis iss?!" "Well, we-we were just going to explore-" "Haff vyou not heard anyfing about ze city of Longdon?!" Cheesemaster tried to listen to Leguan, but he couldn't help noticing Dead Deep out of the corner of his eye, whose own eyes were growing wilder by the second, and his mouth was beginning to foam over- A horrifying scream was let out-two by the scientists in fear, and one by Dead Deep, the kind you make when you are letting out an emotion you have kept bottled up for so long. He leaped over, and pinned both scientists to the ground. His larger eye twitched, and his mouth began to foam over even more; a look of disgust, mixed with panic and fear, got onto the scientists faces as he began to salivate all over them. The entire scene was panicky as Dana tried to lift Dead Deep off of the scientists, and Edna was crying. Eventually Dana heaved Dead Deep off of them. Leguan had blood trickling down his scalp from where Dead Deep had attempted to eat into his head. He stood up, and Alienfreak clutched him. Both were whimpering. "Z-Zee, zis is v-vhy ve s-shouldn't hef stopped en ziz town..." Dead Deep's sunglasses were teetering on the edge of his nose, as Dana spoke to him in a firm, punishing voice. "Look, Dead...if you want brains so bad I'll take you to the T-Virus Cafe and you can eat there. I'll even spend the extra money so they bring out a live scientist for you to tear into." Dead Deep slowly but surely stopped foaming at the mouth. "Fine, Queenie, but-" She wouldn't stand for the buts, so she picked up Dead Deep and threw him into the Hearse. He was quite thin, possibly even as thin as Edna, and so even Dana could pick him up easily. The scientists lectured the boys on being safe in such a town as Longdon, and told them what they had already come to figure out-That Longdon was a city of all kinds of nasty monsters, including all the regular stuff-Vampires, Werewolves, elemental beasts, and as they already knew, Zombies and Succubi. ---------------------------------------------- The four of them finally got back onto the train just as it was about to leave them behind, and after calming down Edna, Cheesemaster decided to get back into his reading. They would be in Hindenburg within about an hour, so the group decided to pack up most of their things they had gotten out, save for Cheesemaster's book, which could fit in his coat pocket anyway. The other four (Kat had finally woken up) spent the rest of the trip gazing out the window at the passing scenery. ------------------------------------------------ An hour later, the five found themselves in the Hindenburg train station, a building that very much made them feel as though the train had in fact been a time machine. The ceiling was quite high up, and the roof of the train station was domed. The sky outside was grey and foggy, but rays of sunlight peaked through the clouds here and there. The people walking about in the station all looked like people who would have populated New York or London in the early 1900's, though you occasionally saw someone dressed in 19th Century attire as well-and indeed, there are some differences. Leguan and Alienfreak were both ecstatic, and could hardly contain their excitement. The events back in Longdon were long forgotten now, despite the bandages on both of their heads were Dead Deep had bitten them. "Zis-zis is my dream land!!" Shouted Leguan, getting odd looks from some passerby. "I can't wait to see what the rest of town is like!!!" Shouted Alienfreak, just as excited as her partner. Kat looked around. "Sure are a lot of other people with fedoras and monocles. They copied me!" The scientists grabbed their suitcases, and dragged them along as the five of them made their way down the station and into the town of Hindenburg.