First, I am guessing that you should separate them even though they should be able to stay together. Ears don't grow back. If Spider goes for the eyes or something else, your poor little hammie may get hurt so bad that she does not make it. As far as getting lazy, I wouldn't worry about it. They might be getting exercise when you are sleeping.
When hammies get food in nature, they then have to run back to their home, empty their pouches and leave the food. So in the cage, they fill their pouches, run in the wheel and then hid their food. As for spitting it out in the wheel, well, I have to think about that. I have one that does that.
You want to make sure that you never blow on their faces, ears or eyes. What you are doing is simulating a predator that is why they freeze in position. You will see their heart's speed up from fear.
Do you have wooden logs, blocks other chewing items for the hammies?
I will get back to you on this later as I am getting tired and not thinking straight.