Horatio

U must ride Lavani on a trip one day!!! She would love it!!! She would love it, I think I would! I think you both would!!! I am happy now! I am so happy to see you!!!

Welcome 'bolard, Skwerllegs th' Pirate! We be sailin fer th' Port o' cheese t' find th' Cheesie, Steel th' stach' of Weebil, Kidnap th' Topazia an' be stealin' th' city o' cheese! Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! We be Leavin' NOW! fer th' Port o' cheese! Ahem. WE B' HAVIN' A STOWAWAY! CHUCK 'IM OVERBOARD! *Crew chucks Mushroom overboard* Horatio's helicopter appears and rescues Mushroom_king before she lands in the water. Next he blows TGHL's boat to smitherines. That will teach you for throwing someone overboard!!! *watches as the sharks circle TGHL in the water, throws in some chum all around TGHL*

Why thank you, thank you, thank you to all three of you.

Okay. Since, I promised. This is false, but I'm letting it rip just for you. Okay? ------------------------------------------------------------ Pow! Slap! Crunch! As my father lays into, I wonder why he's so mad. [this is Tad speaking, as I always use him as my punching bag. Gosh, I really beat up my characters!!] Then I remember that I got home a minute late. Dad is a perfectionist. I feel the bones in my arm snap like twing, and I flinch in pure reflex. Dad sees what he's done and tries to apologize. "No, Dad. Just... I gotta lie down..." My woozy remark doesn't fool him for a second. Dad went to med school, but he's a lawyer. Strange profession for a masked criminal. He makes me sit down and tells Mom to get some ice. She obeys, knowing what's going on, but she could never overpower him. "Tad, you can't lie down. Your arm won't heal right." This statement causes my fried brain to snap, and I stand up, forgetting about the broken arm for the moment. "D*****, Scott, it wouldn't have to heal right if you would just leave me the H*** alone! Can't you see I'm just a kid? I'm not perfect! I'm not one of those F****** TV kids who can read minds and fly and lift trucks and tap dance or play flute! I'm just a kid! A regular, normal kid! Can't you see that? Ow!" Dad just punched me and threw me against the wall. I wait a few moments before getting up, because if I delay, or not get up at all, he leaves me alone sooner. "Don't you cuss at me, boy! You better watch yourself!" He pulls me close, adn the rotting stench of dinner and booze wafts into my nostrils. I try not to grimace at the all-too-familiar smell. "D*** straight, you ain't that good. I can't believe you would dare talk back to me like that. You know the rules. If your sister hadn't died a couple months ago, I'd have whooped your a** in a heartbeat. I'm almost about to. Push my buttons anymore, and you will see a side of me you have never seen before! I brought you into this world, I can sure as H*** take you out." I freeze at this threat. He never breaks a promise, but I can't help but come back at him. I wrench away from him, reeling from the throbbing pain in my arm, and glare. "You shut up, Commie! I don't give a rat's behind about what you do to me, because I know the law! I can turn you in for aggravated child abuse, aggravated assault, and attempted murder if I wanted to, and the only reason I haven't is because you're my father! You want me to be perfect? Fine! Here's a perfect comeback for everything you do to me!" I flip him off and start to walk away. Dad grabs my shirt, and a low growl emits from my throat. I'm becoming the same monster he thrteatens me wiht, and he knows it. Doesn't stop him, though. Pow! Smack! Bam! Thud! Crunch! My left hand breaks, and I'm left handed. I try desperately to stay out of the cold fury I've been in before. Dad knows what I can do when I'm really angry, and he knows I could kill him if I really wanted to. He's so drunk that he doesn't care, though. "I told you to watch yourself! When did you get so cocky, Tad Owen?! I didn't raise you like this! Ouch! Why you..." I had slugged him, a hard right to the jaw that sent both of us reeling, as that's the arm he broke. "You raised me just like this! Violence, hatred and abuse is how you raised me, so why are you so surprised? Uh.. No, don't... Don't... Stop! Please... Dad... come on, wake up... D-DAA--ARGH!" Dad's really laying into me now. I feel some of my ribs break, and I fall to my knees. He doesn't stop, though. I start to lose conciousness, and realize that if I do faint, I might not wake up again. Sweet release... I wonder if that would make him stop hitting Mom and me all the time... ------------------------------Tad loses consciousness.--------------------------------- There. Impromptu, letting it rip, pure violence that was still tapered down because I can't see how Horatio would post this. Tad doesn't die, as he's only twelve in this passage, and he proposes to his girlfriend at their high school graduation, so it does have a happy ending. I also tapered it because I am almost unable to think of such abuse, even though I have experienced some in the past. (Not this kind, a different type of abuse. Not tellin' you!) I know people IRL who have been through this, and I read the Dave Pelzer books, and I have the most morbid and gory imagination you can think of in a sixteen year old girl, but I can't think of how to put it in here as something that would get posted. I doubt much of this piece will get through at all. Now you have seen a portion of what I can talk about. I could go more, but Horatio won't let me. Wow. I thought for sure you'd edit out at least some of the stuff. I can go darker, but I chose not to, as I can only kill off so many characters at a time. When I killed the character in my one story in the future, I brought myselof to tears, even though it was a dream sequence. It was so sad! It was like killing myself, because all of my stories have at least one character that is symbolizing me, and I killed my "self" character! I'm sure I can find something darker than this in my saved stuff, but I dunno... I think you are dark enough here.

Before you get a new hammie, please do the following. Fill the bathtub with hot water, some dish detergent and some Clorox. Not too much Clorox, but ask your mother to help on this one. Make sure the water in the bathtub is high enough to cover the cage. Now, get the cage, tubes, ball and any other things that belonged to Pickles and put them in the tub. Let them soak for a while, a few hours or so, then grab a rag and wash each one. Now these two are the most important steps. Rinse the pieces thoroughly. Get all the Clorox off. Next, let them AIR DRY for a minimum of TWO DAYS. Smell the pieces and see if you smell any Clorox. Two days is the least amount of time you can wait before reusing the cage. Now you have the cage all set for your next hammie.

If you need to replace the water and add DriTail every day, please be diligent about this. Give him all the peanuts he wants. He will not overeat. Usually he will break open the shell and store the nuts somewhere. The goal here is to make him active so he wants to drink more water with the DriTail in it. Aye Horatio, you're good at this. Did you have hammies as a child as well? No. Hammies don't keep other hammies as pets. Pardon Me, Did Patricia? Patricia who? I rule this household!!! I know you do, but please ask that slave of yours if she did. Okay. "Yo slave... did you ever own hamsters when you were a kid?" "No." "Thanks, I will let TBFOF know." She said No.

I liked the twist you placed in the last two lines. Fantastic!!!

*cries*

Toto, please let us know how Pickles is doing.

If you need to replace the water and add DriTail every day, please be diligent about this. Give him all the peanuts he wants. He will not overeat. Usually he will break open the shell and store the nuts somewhere. The goal here is to make him active so he wants to drink more water with the DriTail in it. Aye Horatio, you're good at this. Did you have hammies as a child as well? No. Hammies don't keep other hammies as pets. Pardon Me, Did Patricia? Patricia who? I rule this household!!!

*will never look at my toothbrush the same again*

Okay... help me out here. Translation please. Bohemium Rapsodee or whatever it is. I made a power pint press to the song and I shall try to attatch it. I like that song. I like it, it's good. I tryed my best. bohimium rhapsody is a queen song its a power point I see, you put Bohemian Rhapsody in a .ppt file (powerpoint presentation) and tried to attach it? n its a mvie thing i just gt ta figure ut hw ta attach it Will, would you like to hire me as your personal translator for the rest of the board. And it is a move thing and I just got to figure out how to attatch it. Sure you are hired!!!

Okay... help me out here. Translation please. Bohemium Rapsodee or whatever it is. I made a power pint press to the song and I shall try to attatch it. I like that song. I like it, it's good. I tryed my best. bohimium rhapsody is a queen song its a power point I see, you put Bohemian Rhapsody in a .ppt file (powerpoint presentation) and tried to attach it? n its a mvie thing i just gt ta figure ut hw ta attach it I think you lost some brain cells when you were in the mountains. Oxygen deprivation perhaps?

If you need to replace the water and add DriTail every day, please be diligent about this. Give him all the peanuts he wants. He will not overeat. Usually he will break open the shell and store the nuts somewhere. The goal here is to make him active so he wants to drink more water with the DriTail in it. Aye Horatio, you're good at this. Did you have hammies as a child as well? No. Hammies don't keep other hammies as pets.

w/e How articulate. that's the way I am! B A poet who fails to use language to its fulle extent in normal conversation but can write beautiful poetry? Nothing new. I'm the same way. I can't put my stuff up, though. It wouldn't get past Horatio's moderator-eagle-eyes. Wouldn't those be hammie eyes? Wouldn't those be; Hammie eyes with night vision goggles, a full spectrum of headlights, over a thousand various strengths of lenses and the traditional X-Ray vision? I'll pick door number three!!! I have all of the equipment needed to spot those wayward words!

*thinks*

Yes, I have. All 5 or is there more? Anyway. Why can no one seem to get them outside Eire and the UK? You can get Artemis Fowl at our library and bookstore.

* is sry* I have to ask a question and I am not trying to be mean or anything like that... is it really so hard to write out the word sorry? I do not understand why people like using chatspeak when it makes me think that someone is not smart enough to be able to spell the word correctly. So, please do not be offended, I am trying to understand why people use it. Thank you for an honest reply.

that stinks. well i saw the fireworks today. fun.me and my friends sung the used all the way home. Come to my cage... you can help me clean! can i come? ill help u lots! Sure! *makes a pot of coffee and waits for Mullaypop* I'd love to come. Today has been a draggg. You are most welcome... come on! It's a long way though, and I'm not sure I could book a flight 15 minutes before it leaves. Would you mind coming to get me? I would not mind in the least! Let me first see if Mullaypop is on her way as she might want to ride with me. I would not want her to arrive and me not be here!!!

The July special, here at Top_Banana's Bananarama, will be one hand of bananas for each post you make. These bananas are home grown in my backyard. We have apple bananas, red bananas and about 26 different varieties of bananas. So beginning 1 July 2005, I will be handing out the special posting prize.

that stinks. well i saw the fireworks today. fun.me and my friends sung the used all the way home. Come to my cage... you can help me clean! can i come? ill help u lots! Sure! *makes a pot of coffee and waits for Mullaypop* I'd love to come. Today has been a draggg. You are most welcome... come on!

that stinks. well i saw the fireworks today. fun.me and my friends sung the used all the way home. Come to my cage... you can help me clean! can i come? ill help u lots! Sure! *makes a pot of coffee and waits for Mullaypop*

If you need to replace the water and add DriTail every day, please be diligent about this. Give him all the peanuts he wants. He will not overeat. Usually he will break open the shell and store the nuts somewhere. The goal here is to make him active so he wants to drink more water with the DriTail in it.

w/e How articulate. that's the way I am! A poet who fails to use language to its fulle extent in normal conversation but can write beautiful poetry? Nothing new. I'm the same way. I can't put my stuff up, though. It wouldn't get past Horatio's moderator-eagle-eyes. Wouldn't those be hammie eyes?

Are you sure he is not drinking any water? If he isn't give him the carrot, but a small piece. If you make sure you keep giving him the DriTail, he will get better.