The Grim Hamster lord

"No Ghosts need apply" -Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Suffock Vampire *hands out garlic to everyone* There wasn't an actual vampire Horatio, as you should know. Never trust a Phoenix. When you least expect it, another twist and turn will appear. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Again, your analogy would have been much better if I was a snake, not a Phoenix.

*goes back and edits initial post to read: I will do nothing but good. I will stamp out all evil. * <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *edits out the good centre of Horatio's brain*

*Hears a cricket chirping with a lack of laughter..Ehh, That didn't come out right.* *Laughs Maniaclly* BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE BEFORE HORATIOBOT GETS YOU FOR TRESSPASSING! *lasers start firing through the wall as Horatiobot detects the soon-to-be-admonished MK* *starts reading heat sensor monitors to detect where the Phoenix might be hiding* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *speaker crackles on* I'm using the TARDIS to interface with the speaker circuits in the building *speaker crackles off*

"No Ghosts need apply" -Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Suffock Vampire *hands out garlic to everyone* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> There wasn't an actual vampire Horatio, as you should know.

HORATIO HAS THE CLAYMORE! *sees small hamster legging it under the weight of a several pound Claymore*

*TGHL sees the FedEx courier arrive to pick up the puppies* *complete with mysterious masked Hamster* Do you like my cape and mask? Very Phantom of the Opera. Where's your giant underground organ powered by an underground river? *keeps lips sealed* Or has it all gone portable now? *eyes narrow, look left and right* *steals Horatio's breifcase while he is looking left and right, opens it, and watches huge organ pop out and land on her* X_X *dies* *wonders where the underground river is* *looks into depths of briefcase* *torrent of water blasts up, sending self high into teh sky* *hires OddJob to keep an eye on TGHL* *hires Jaws to eat OddJob's hat* *rescues the hat and claims as her own* *OddJob remains unfazed by the lack of a hat and keeps his eyes focused on TGHL* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *Jaws keeps his eyes on OddJob's head*

You certainly have a way with words! I blame a cocktail of Blackadder, Monty Python and Dead Ringers Would that be chilled or warm? Shaken not stirred. Olive, onion or cherry? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Olive <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oil or grease? j/k <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oil. I'm making an extra-special Molotov cocktail...

For those joining the evil classes I reccommend you look at the inital post and make sure you commit it to memory!

*Hears a cricket chirping with a lack of laughter..Ehh, That didn't come out right.* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *Laughs Maniaclly* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE BEFORE HORATIOBOT GETS YOU FOR TRESSPASSING! *lasers start firing through the wall as Horatiobot detects the soon-to-be-admonished MK*

A few questions to see whether you are evil enough; 1) If faced with a choice between a giant laser and a electromagnetic pulse emmitting satellite which would you choose? 2) In close combat would you prefer to have a sword, a gun or a haddock? 3) What is your favourite way of disposing of secret agents? 4) What trap would you pick to guard your inner sanctum; Pirhana pit, poison gas chamber, knockout gas chamber or an automatic sentry disguised as a tiki torch? 5) What describes you best? A Megalomaniac, ex-spy or reclusive billionaire? 6) Do you like my hat? I can't resist. I have to answer the questions. 1. Yes. 2. Sword. It states for use in close combat, where a gun would not be as effective. And if you're really good with the sword, you can parry to bullets anyway. Fish and smelly and I dun wanna touch them. 3. Any way that is direct and doesn't leave them time to make a cunning plan and escape. I would also not tell them my evil plan, no matter how sure I am that they are trapped, not leave the room, and not carry on without being ABSOLUTELY sure that they're really dead. 4. Must it be a Tiki torch? What about something else, like a rock? Please note that this would also be a decoy, because if they take out the sentry, I will be on the other side of the hidden door. Waiting. 5. Yes. 6. That depends. How much plumage does it have? 'Cause if it doesn't have enough plumage, then what's the point? Hmmm... I think everyone is going to need some evil basics classes from what I can see. Ok, the tests are now disbanded. All those who wish to continue their evil education return on... the... when did I say... 2nd of January! Anyone who turns up drunk will be banned from all evil related classes, even lowly minion ones and be dispelled to the goody-too-shoes sidekick school across teh street! *goes to window and peeks from behind the curtains to see Horatio leering out of the window with a pair of binoculars* Oh! Oh! Can I be your evil Teacher's Aide? Of course my good lady! YOu can assist me in my practical demonstrations using this creature I caught in my flat in Hong Kong. *rolls Horatio out* I hope that teaches you not to raid my flat and plant anthropods in it! *sees Horatio roll into a ball, spring up and scurry into his waiting jet* Bye-bye! You saw yourself? Do you have like, RPG-vision or something? XD You never let me get away with anything! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Especially not Claymore theft... *sees Horatio get pwned by Kat wielding the gold plated (not solid gold, wouldn't cut) claymore*

"No Ghosts need apply" -Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Suffock Vampire

Haven't you ever watched Goldfinger? *implements Operation Grand Slam, WITHOUT any changing of knockout gas canisters* *hops in airplane, loaded with missiles, shoots TGHL's minions and protects all the gold and money in Fort Knox* *after arriving back at the home base, has a frothy root beer to celebrate* *meanwhile the Mole, stolen from Thunderbirds, has knicked off with everything in Fort Knox leaving only a small tray of cinesra and edinayc milk chocolates* *sprays Tommy Hillfinger gas over TGHL* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *goes back in time and edits the word Goldfinger to "Tommy Hillfinger"* Hmm... That stuff is equally putrid, but less knocking out and death. I may have also got the brand name wrong... Oh well, nevermind.

I will place one on order, and will collect it after the H$ system is up and running.

Nobody knows why the pickle likes Emily the Strange. That is because She doesn't like to eat bugs. Anyway, the pickle murdered the cucumber. The cucumber's name was Harry Cubby McBubbbub. He decided to ride his unicyle to the Big Evil Supermart. He bought a money bag. However, the money was Moneylovers wife, And ate pie. But poisoned pie. So, Moneylover died, Then died again. After the continuous dying, he stopped eating the penguins. He disliked innards, Like a lot. But that's okay as he was addicted to the smell of the dancing leprechaun on excess cow poo. When he finished sniffing the poo, He drank Cherry-Coke, and then he died.they buried him in Cow poo.So everyone else slept in the cow poo again. So this ended When we all said bye to cow poo... again. Then TBFOF became the richest boy with two noses and five tongues. and he died. The bugs came, ate his arm, and regurgitated them. TBFOF then revived! now he's puke. MW stepped in some cow poo. So she barfed. And TBFOF lived no more, ever.The poor kid needs a bath Or a shower. No, a coffin. Hygeine is good. That's why I'm taking a shower in some poo. So i smelled like moldy gorgonzola. More poo. ... yup. And then we ran to the boobah home base! The crowds went "TAKE A SHOWER!" Then you went to a store with a bathroom and many watermelons. Mushroomking spazzed out when she saw a vampire pickel that danced and sang like a very rabid squirrel named skwerlhugger will. The squirrel then danced like pickles in the rain wearing cowboy boots with a fedora. Then the beast started to dance on people's heads Then got keelingyoudead'ed. With a million the people said. So they ouched and fell down. Suddenly, a giant cheesemonster squished them with cow poo And a Hippo. That had much diamond bracelets with unwanted body hair. The hippo's name was Larry King. but it ate my computer's harddrive while doing a headstand on a Hoops' awesome head. Now she has feeling very, very cow poo-like. oopsie poopsie toes. And also very in cowboy boots and a hat that greatly resembled A big pineapple with fluffernutter ears and puppydog eyes and arachnid limbs. then it fell In Cow poo. Then it died. The fecomaniacal zombie had some pie. A cow pie. And then MW barked up the cherry micicle tree till cow poo fell on her ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG! and the hydrogen bomb blew up. Raining giant cupcakes that resembled big orange slippery potatoes. alas, they were slimey, smelly slugs And cow poo that just died. due to a/an lack of some orange flavored jello with double cheese And some pants in its face. then an explosion of pure Phazon which mutated into a marshmellow of sticky, yummy explosions Of much doom. which caused economic skyrockets in the purple pulsating sky of planet SR388. which has thirty-one hunter-class Metroids And they stunk like moldy brie. But its okay Because Emily the elephant earred octopus isn't a Metroid. And it sucked Horatio's brain out. However, Meta-Ridley swoops like a rock Onto Kraid who decides to sing. Everyone went deaf and danced a silly little jig of fatal doom in a runaway ambulance that was on teh highway heading towards Luigi's half-way existing mansion and Mario's house. when all-of-a-sudden Bowser came and ate Mario's very favorite rabid rabbit pie and Cow poo. Causing the ambulance's red siren to make blatting noises. while blood was turned into Soda. That tasted like EXPLOSIONS OF DOOM. this caused economic backfire across the marshmellow jellied cherries and the moon made of cheese. rotten, smelly cheese that has been in outer space for ten minutes. Then the monkey ate a bananana that was poisned. And then he started running in your general direction. So I headed away, over there into a tube, out of danger hidden underneath a steaming heap of roasted sunflower seeds that someone farted into outer space. by sunflower seeds, Then they exploded. The TARDIS landed That killed everyone. Then the aliens Of the family-Slitheen all died miserable slow, agonizing and very horrible deaths. So we vanquished an entire bowl of cow poo. I then materialised into our digestive systems.And he exploded. Beware the were-rabbit who just might be your next small chicken pie, with mashed potatoes and purple gravy. So do not consider eating the cinesra with toast and pickled marzipan. Rather eat pickled, pickled marzipan? Yum... Marzipan is delectable. Unlike Horatio's sunflower, which is very purple and chunky with edinayc flavoured, whipped cream covered strawberry flavored clams. In other news, someone tried them with Metroid Sprinkles. They were yummy. So they had a close encounter with some poo. Chocolate marshmallow poo. covered with almonds, pecans, walnuts, peanuts, blueberrys, ants and explosive mushrooms of ancient roman origin. We then put sonic, shadow, knuckles in small plastic bags covered in faux aligator skin. Then TBFOF sang Speed of Sound with a bottle filled with delicious yummy cheese wiz. When he finished designing birthday cakes he exploded over then he sold the excellent cakes to Israeli spies to explode them. The Israeli spies with extreme yumminess of great doom causing small hats in the shape of a sword which prods people to spontaneously combust, to lead a band in pressure points. After cleaning ELE's hairy underarms, she scratched her bum causing temproal destruction and itchless bum syndrome. Toilets flew into Horatio, injuring his only pickle. Pickle was buried in Hot Topic. Robot Bob Barker was then shot In Limetid too by Dr.Watson's hat.

*TGHL sees the FedEx courier arrive to pick up the puppies* *complete with mysterious masked Hamster* Do you like my cape and mask? Very Phantom of the Opera. Where's your giant underground organ powered by an underground river? *keeps lips sealed* Or has it all gone portable now? *eyes narrow, look left and right* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *steals Horatio's breifcase while he is looking left and right, opens it, and watches huge organ pop out and land on her* X_X *dies* *wonders where the underground river is* *looks into depths of briefcase* *torrent of water blasts up, sending self high into teh sky* *hires OddJob to keep an eye on TGHL* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *hires Jaws to eat OddJob's hat*

A few questions to see whether you are evil enough; 1) If faced with a choice between a giant laser and a electromagnetic pulse emmitting satellite which would you choose? 2) In close combat would you prefer to have a sword, a gun or a haddock? 3) What is your favourite way of disposing of secret agents? 4) What trap would you pick to guard your inner sanctum; Pirhana pit, poison gas chamber, knockout gas chamber or an automatic sentry disguised as a tiki torch? 5) What describes you best? A Megalomaniac, ex-spy or reclusive billionaire? 6) Do you like my hat? I can't resist. I have to answer the questions. 1. Yes. 2. Sword. It states for use in close combat, where a gun would not be as effective. And if you're really good with the sword, you can parry to bullets anyway. Fish and smelly and I dun wanna touch them. 3. Any way that is direct and doesn't leave them time to make a cunning plan and escape. I would also not tell them my evil plan, no matter how sure I am that they are trapped, not leave the room, and not carry on without being ABSOLUTELY sure that they're really dead. 4. Must it be a Tiki torch? What about something else, like a rock? Please note that this would also be a decoy, because if they take out the sentry, I will be on the other side of the hidden door. Waiting. 5. Yes. 6. That depends. How much plumage does it have? 'Cause if it doesn't have enough plumage, then what's the point? Hmmm... I think everyone is going to need some evil basics classes from what I can see. Ok, the tests are now disbanded. All those who wish to continue their evil education return on... the... when did I say... 2nd of January! Anyone who turns up drunk will be banned from all evil related classes, even lowly minion ones and be dispelled to the goody-too-shoes sidekick school across teh street! *goes to window and peeks from behind the curtains to see Horatio leering out of the window with a pair of binoculars* Oh! Oh! Can I be your evil Teacher's Aide? Of course my good lady! YOu can assist me in my practical demonstrations using this creature I caught in my flat in Hong Kong. *rolls Horatio out* I hope that teaches you not to raid my flat and plant anthropods in it! *sees Horatio roll into a ball, spring up and scurry into his waiting jet* Bye-bye! *jet crashes into floating wall and Horatio joins the group again for a bath with some pirhanas*

Yes. Can you review the character part. I'm a bit scratchy on that part. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The system is quite simple. What happens (based on from what I have gathered, not 100% accurate (possibly)); Each and every "current" poster gets a stick figure or as the more refined hamsters will call it "an avatar." From there on in, you can go to MW's supreme customization shop where you can adapt your avatar to your needs, as of yet there are no confirmed settings of what can be customized, but it will be things like body shape, clothes, accessories and that sort of thing. Think that you are creating your own HB Sim (I hate that game). Obviously in a similar Sim-esque fasion you are going to have to proivde certain things for yourself, houses are being looked into. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> We won't be able to actually see the "Sim", correct? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No, there will be a pictoral representation... I think.

*TGHL sees the FedEx courier arrive to pick up the puppies* *complete with mysterious masked Hamster* Do you like my cape and mask? Very Phantom of the Opera. Where's your giant underground organ powered by an underground river? *keeps lips sealed* Or has it all gone portable now? *eyes narrow, look left and right* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *steals Horatio's breifcase while he is looking left and right, opens it, and watches huge organ pop out and land on her* X_X *dies* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *wonders where the underground river is* *looks into depths of briefcase* *torrent of water blasts up, sending self high into teh sky*

Pykecrete? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> WWII stuff, very top secret. Don't let Horatio find out about it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ah, okay. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'll explain, hopefully Horatio won't see. Pykecrete was a British invention during the war, discovered by the R&D boffins responsible for the Spitfire planes and other Brit inventions. Pyke discovered that the correct mixture and ratio of sawdust to water and then frozen can out last most things when being baked at over 1000 degrees C, can survive torpedo blasts (seriously!) and floated. Oh and it took huge amounts of force using a steam hammer to smash it. He presented it to Churchhill by dropping it in his bath. There was a plan to make a floating pykecrete air base to help the fight in Norway, but D-Day and the end of the Norwegian campagin ended the project. There was a huge test in Canada as well. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yes! Someone else who uses the term 'Boffin'!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> What is so special about the word boffin?

A few questions to see whether you are evil enough; 1) If faced with a choice between a giant laser and a electromagnetic pulse emmitting satellite which would you choose? 2) In close combat would you prefer to have a sword, a gun or a haddock? 3) What is your favourite way of disposing of secret agents? 4) What trap would you pick to guard your inner sanctum; Pirhana pit, poison gas chamber, knockout gas chamber or an automatic sentry disguised as a tiki torch? 5) What describes you best? A Megalomaniac, ex-spy or reclusive billionaire? 6) Do you like my hat? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I can't resist. I have to answer the questions. 1. Yes. 2. Sword. It states for use in close combat, where a gun would not be as effective. And if you're really good with the sword, you can parry to bullets anyway. Fish and smelly and I dun wanna touch them. 3. Any way that is direct and doesn't leave them time to make a cunning plan and escape. I would also not tell them my evil plan, no matter how sure I am that they are trapped, not leave the room, and not carry on without being ABSOLUTELY sure that they're really dead. 4. Must it be a Tiki torch? What about something else, like a rock? Please note that this would also be a decoy, because if they take out the sentry, I will be on the other side of the hidden door. Waiting. 5. Yes. 6. That depends. How much plumage does it have? 'Cause if it doesn't have enough plumage, then what's the point? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hmmm... I think everyone is going to need some evil basics classes from what I can see. Ok, the tests are now disbanded. All those who wish to continue their evil education return on... the... when did I say... 2nd of January! Anyone who turns up drunk will be banned from all evil related classes, even lowly minion ones and be dispelled to the goody-too-shoes sidekick school across teh street! *goes to window and peeks from behind the curtains to see Horatio leering out of the window with a pair of binoculars* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh! Oh! Can I be your evil Teacher's Aide? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Of course my good lady! YOu can assist me in my practical demonstrations using this creature I caught in my flat in Hong Kong. *rolls Horatio out* I hope that teaches you not to raid my flat and plant anthropods in it!

Haven't you ever watched Goldfinger? *implements Operation Grand Slam, WITHOUT any changing of knockout gas canisters* *hops in airplane, loaded with missiles, shoots TGHL's minions and protects all the gold and money in Fort Knox* *after arriving back at the home base, has a frothy root beer to celebrate* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> *meanwhile the Mole, stolen from Thunderbirds, has knicked off with everything in Fort Knox leaving only a small tray of cinesra and edinayc milk chocolates*

*TGHL sees the FedEx courier arrive to pick up the puppies* *complete with mysterious masked Hamster* Do you like my cape and mask? Very Phantom of the Opera. Where's your giant underground organ powered by an underground river? *keeps lips sealed* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Or has it all gone portable now?

A few questions to see whether you are evil enough; 1) If faced with a choice between a giant laser and a electromagnetic pulse emmitting satellite which would you choose? 2) In close combat would you prefer to have a sword, a gun or a haddock? 3) What is your favourite way of disposing of secret agents? 4) What trap would you pick to guard your inner sanctum; Pirhana pit, poison gas chamber, knockout gas chamber or an automatic sentry disguised as a tiki torch? 5) What describes you best? A Megalomaniac, ex-spy or reclusive billionaire? 6) Do you like my hat? I can't resist. I have to answer the questions. 1. Yes. 2. Sword. It states for use in close combat, where a gun would not be as effective. And if you're really good with the sword, you can parry to bullets anyway. Fish and smelly and I dun wanna touch them. 3. Any way that is direct and doesn't leave them time to make a cunning plan and escape. I would also not tell them my evil plan, no matter how sure I am that they are trapped, not leave the room, and not carry on without being ABSOLUTELY sure that they're really dead. 4. Must it be a Tiki torch? What about something else, like a rock? Please note that this would also be a decoy, because if they take out the sentry, I will be on the other side of the hidden door. Waiting. 5. Yes. 6. That depends. How much plumage does it have? 'Cause if it doesn't have enough plumage, then what's the point? Hmmm... I think everyone is going to need some evil basics classes from what I can see. Ok, the tests are now disbanded. All those who wish to continue their evil education return on... the... when did I say... 2nd of January! Anyone who turns up drunk will be banned from all evil related classes, even lowly minion ones and be dispelled to the goody-too-shoes sidekick school across teh street! *goes to window and peeks from behind the curtains to see Horatio leering out of the window with a pair of binoculars* *takes notes on the observations, sees TGHK peeking out from behind the curtain, hides* *waits until everyone has left TGHL's place, bugs flat* <{POST_SNAPBACK}> TYPO! HORATIO DID A TYPO! Ahem. Anyway, it isn't a flat, but in fact a high class acadamy taking up the entire building and several storys below ground level!

*posts*

And the typo vulture Horatio sweeps lower and lower circling its prey, ready and waiting to strike when Kat the typo ninja flies out and delivers a trademark typo notice.... *backflips over to TBFOF, jumps over him, placing a Typo Award on his head in the proces, then flips away again into the shadows* *wonders if it is the pin tac or rubber bands on the braces inducing the flips* Are we talking about the fixation of the typo notice or are you suggesting that Kat uses rubber bands in a sort of Hollywood-style harness to perform her dazzling ninjitsu moves? The latter. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> GASP! A most unfair accusal.