Mega Wolf

Just, you know, two and a half months to go. I'll survive it! I have big plans for my life, I can live with this for now.

My romantic life was pretty amusing for a moment there. But I'm pretty sure I'm okay with it being settled down for the moment, I think I'm good without people being confusing, figuring out distance, or my favorite "entertaining" (for everyone else) moment, having a man write me from prison continuously declaring his love.

Wow, nothing like an old friend stopping by to remind you of how life keeps happening, right? It's funny, before major social networking sites, we had these forums. I remember when most people didn't really use the internet much for talking and our group was actually pretty special for having our regular interactions. Most people still had the "stranger danger" mentality, even with something like HD, but our regular posters knew this was pretty safe. And look at where many of us are! We're out and about in the world, doing some pretty interesting things. Anyway, glad to see you here Hamster Luver, catching up is always fun. Also, Horatio, blurry or not, those are some great pictures!

That's how I feel about my piano class. But, as a music major, piano is a requirement, so I can't just not do it.

Things are still going well. Sorry, lurkers, no fun drama news for you.

There's a few guests here at the moment. 6, actually. It's an entertaining idea that there are hundreds of people lurking on our conversations. I wonder who they are. The Northern Green Blur sounds like a bizarre film. Tell me how the iPad 3 is, I was thinking about getting one.

I find it really strange that this board would have any number of lurkers, let alone 150-ish.

I'm always busy, but it's good. I'm enjoying what I do, besides keeping up with biology work, but even so I still have a good professor for that as well.

Sounds like yet another exciting Horatio adventure! It sounds like a lot of fun.

Well, this is unexpected. He still hasn't suddenly gotten bored and left, and I don't expect him to. We're being really open with each other now, there's quite a bit of contrast between what was last year, a relationship solely consisting of pizza and movies without many words,and now talking about everything and helping each other with music all the time. Things are looking pretty good.

I will definitely look into that when I have more time. At the moment, I'm doing full-time school(overload credits), plus the balloons, plus I'm in a ska band now. I definitely know that my parents will help me if I need it, and I'm making enough money that I'll be able to set aside some money as well.

Awkward to think there are people reading this! Things have turned around a little. I'm not investing too much of my own emotions into this, but that recent ex that has finally opened up is kind of difficult to not give a chance and ignore. I'll be honest, my main struggle with him was always to get him to talk about anything and now that it's happening, it's sort of turned back into something. It's a bit different from what most people call "change", because the things he is accomplishing in terms of sharing feelings and things about himself aren't just little things. It's not just in notes or phone calls, it's been face to face conversation. I'm still not completely trusting this to be a permanent sort of thing, as it's been perhaps two weeks, but I'm still focusing mostly on school and work anyway, so it's not like this is taking up a lot of my time. Plus he's been rather encouraging about my studies and job.

Yes, still doing balloon gigs, and it's doing pretty well for me. I didn't figure I would be doing as well as I am, but, I'm getting better, and have even made $40 an hour at certain gigs and have the potential to charge $100 an hour if I were to start picking up parties. It's turned out to be a lot of fun, but, it's kind of like an annoying sales job and sometimes there are people I would rather not deal with. My eventual plan, in a year and a half when I move out to wherever I'm going next for school, is to continue to do that but then try to get a part-time job at an Apple store (my friend works there and raves of the benefits) in addition to my balloon twisting. Music continues to be my main focus, but I'd like to be as independent from my parents as possible as quickly as possible. It's not like they can't afford to keep supporting me, I suppose we're considered "upper-middle class", but they already have my 3 older siblings to worry about, I'd rather not be another expense keeping them from enjoying their hard-earned money.

I have not been exercising at all for the past two months, I might want to fix that.

That's light?! I'm barely familiar with any snow at all. haha

I tend to get through those ADHD tests and then I don't allow results to affect me much at all because I would never get medication for something I have so easily maintained and learn to deal with. I get things done, so it's not really crippling to my life. Procrastination is also my specialty! In other news, I am making enough money from my balloon jobs to essentially pay for my own rent. My parents still help me with most things, some months I make extra, others I make less, but it's not bad at all. In fact, I've made around $100 at some 3-hour gigs. I'm just glad I'm helping now.

Dim sum is great, I made my parents promise me that we would go next time I visit them. This particular Elephant Bar is at a mall, next to a movie theater. Well, at least there's still turkey!

No guests at the moment. It's strange, my recent ex is putting up quite the effort. Here's a little note from him. "I want to let you know that I want nothing more than to be here for you. I want to sing you to sleep. I want to take care of you when you're sick. I want to fall asleep talking. To you on the phone. I wanna be home when you get off work and have dinner ready for you. I wanna surprise you with flowers every chance I get. But most of all I want you to forgive me. All I want is you, because I love you." I'm not foolish enough to take this note, or the other little note he left on my car earlier today as some real sudden change in his efforts with any potential to last. It's hard to separate myself from the fact that this is kind of cute, especially because of little things like how he actually hates being on the phone. BUT. I will make a conscious effort not to take this as legitimate sentiments just yet.

When I reaffirmed with my hometown ex that I wasn't interested in dating, he started pouting and sounded like he was whining on the phone. While some girls might be okay with that reassurance that someone cares, that's not the kind of relationship I'd like anyway. I then remembered that what I really didn't like about him was how he handled the few negative things that ever happen between us. He just pouts and it mostly annoys me, which is worse than making me angry. So there's that decision. I do need to straighten out things pretty fast with my most recent ex before I date this other guy. While I may or may not have portrayed him as a total jerk, I probably didn't do him justice, and we are friends because of our interactions in music. To shorten this story, he probably has a bit of a social disorder (as in, doctors mentioned Asperger's when he was younger), he mostly has difficulty expressing feelings, and upon seeing me interacting with another guy, he decided to send me messages saying he needs to talk to me and started opening up about his feelings. There is literally no one who knows much at all about how he feels. Basically, I need to let him know I'm giving someone else a chance because it's been many months since we broke up and I left with hurt feelings. Also, I'm creeped out by the 10 guests on here.

Haha, that's great! Thanksgiving is an awesome holiday, since the meal is a major part of it, it's like you have Thanksgiving for several days because of leftovers. My parents came to visit, and we (myself, my brother, his girlfriend, and my parents) often go out to eat when they do. We all craved dim sum, but of course, no dim sum in this area, so we went to the nearby Elephant Bar after a couple of failed searches for open sushi places.

I'm pretty sure I have some serious ADHD problems. haha. Sometimes I stop working on what I'm doing to take those little ADHD check tests that they offer online, usually not get through the whole thing, and occasionally I'll finish them and they tell me I probably have ADHD. lol.

Hometown ex decision was reached a while ago, just sort of forgot about it. We decided (feels more like my decision) that he needs a chance to branch out and date other people, since he's just barely now moving out of our hometown. I figure now that he's finally getting a chance to leave and go to a college where people have common interests with him he really ought to explore that. Ultimately, "if it's meant to be, it will be", but we're still very young and a decision needn't be reached right now. In other news, I scored a legitimate date at a huge party my friend and I threw for our friend's 21st birthday. If my parents could find love at a trashy disco, I'm sure I can give this a chance.

That all sounds delicious!

The hunt for achievement is there! People don't just keep trying to be great and never succeed.

I do tend to compare myself primarily to those who are better than me. It can be a bit of a double-edged sword. While it motivates me, sometimes I don't particularly feel like I'm making enough progress and get discouraged. But then I just talk myself out of that, because the idea of being perfect and the best at everything I do is entirely ridiculous.