Jesusfreak

Eight days is a long time without a break. Give him time for more serious stuff. Perhaps he will get back to his old-self as soon as he is back at school. Work might be wearing him out. At least this is what I hope. He seems to be getting closer to his old self still; we had a conversation about food and slow-cookers lol. He had another day off today, and has one on saturday as well. I also know his sister is on vacation with their mom and step-sisters, so I wonder if that's a factor.

Phil seems to be doing a bit better. I know he had today off, which is good, since he worked for 8 days straight. He seemed to be in a decent mood today, and seems to be a bit more like his old self, though he's still not talking about anything serious.

End of Experiment. Saw Phil in the store today, but he didn't see me; must have gone on break/ended shift right before I went to checkout. Logged on to maple today. Phil is more talkative than he was before, albeit in a really bad mood, and tired (probably why he didn't notice me before). He did not have a one-on-one conversation with me, but restated his "nothing but maple works" piece, and how he's hoping for a new computer soon (his dad is supposed to buy him one). So, there may be validity to that, though it doesn't explain his not attempting other means of communication.

Yesterday was the end of day 7, nothing at that point aside from a mutual friend telling me he had talked to Phil. I'm talking to said friend now, who says that Phil is trying to fix things before school starts, and gave him the same excuses for not talking to me as he did to me.

I have not really been following this, but... do you two have phones? Like not necessarily cell phones, house phones work too. He can't press seven buttons and say hi? We do. Neither one of us are a big fan of talking on the phone, but it would be better than nothing, and he can always text me, but I didn't bother to mention that.

End of Day 6: Saw Phil at work today; we were both in bad moods. I asked him when he was going to talk to me, and he listed some computer-related excuses (aim won't download, facebook gives him error messages). I suggested his ipod, and he said, "Yeah, I need to charge that...." I relayed this encounter to two mutual friends, who said it sounds like he's avoiding me, though they didn't say that he said he was. Phil still has not made any attempts to contact me.

Day 5, more nothing.

End of Day 4: Still nothing new.

End of Day 3: Mutual friend from maplestory reports that Phil has been talking more, but Phil has still not made any communications outside of maplestory. Was tempted to send Phil a funny picture, but resisted.

Oh yes, I've made him quite aware. And if he still can't figure it out, he has a bunch of mutual friends who can tell him, and may have already anyways. Though, a thought occurred to me today: at the moment, we are just friends. Thinking about most of my other friends, I don't talk to them any more than Phil has been keeping in touch over the summer. I don't think he's keeping in close contact with his other friends either. So, I guess I need to keep in mind that if we're just friends, I can't have any greater expectations of him than I do of most of my other friends.

So, just about the end of day 2 (I'm counting days as ending at 11pm, which is Phil's computer curfew), and still no new results. No available explanations to account for lack of results.

lol thanks. I'm not sure I want to show it to Phil just yet. I'm considering resuming our relationship, but on a really low-key and slow level, because the whole being on a break thing, as you see, isn't working out so great for me emotionally. It's something I want to talk about with him in person though so I can get a real response from him, but again, with the business and bad moods making that impossible. Although this is tough for you, you sound like you have made some very good decisions as far as your relationship goes. Let's see how Phil reacts when he sees you aren't on Maplestory. Yeah, the more time passes, the less optimistic I become. I don't know what he expects to happen as a result of how he's acting, but the probability of me taking him back is falling pretty quickly.

Oh also, I told him before what he needs to do to keep me around. He seems to have either ignored it or convinced himself he's incapable of doing it.

Experiment progress: end of day 1 No new results, weather and obliviousness may be potential factors. (Explanation: Phil has not contacted me, and no new news from anyone from maplestory. There is a thunderstorm, which may have driven Phil away from the computer for the past hour if he had intended to try to talk online then. Also, he might not have noticed that I'm taking a break yet, if no one bothered to tell him.)

Sweeeeeet.

So, I decided to take a break from maplestory, for at least a week, probably longer. It's an experiment of sorts. I've noticed that being on maplestory tends to get me into a bad mood (usually due to Phil being distant), and it takes up WAY more time than it should. So, I'm hoping this break will free me up to go do other more healthy and productive things with my time, and improve my mood a bit. It's also an experiment to see what Phil does. Maple has been our only form of communication outside random meetings at the grocery store, so if he wants to stay in touch, he's going to have to make some effort by reinstalling AIM, contacting me through facebook, texting, or, you know, *doing* something. I didn't talk to him about it directly, just posted a bulletin in our guild that I'm taking a break and how to contact me. I didn't even mention it to him when I saw him at the store today. He should be finding out about it soon if he hasn't already, so it will be interesting to see what happens. It's scary too though, since this is likely to sort of make or break things with us. So, it will be interesting to see what happens, and here's hoping for the best.

Ouch, that's no fun, though you're super lucky you didn't get hurt worse. I'm glad to hear that you're at least mostly okay though lol.

I think we're allowed to say colleges, but that's not too important. So, let's see, what was covered here: Cities: Boston is a nice big city with lots of colleges, it might be a place to start. And then there are colleges like UConn, which *is* a city. Distance: I personally suggest living far enough away to have to be in a dorm and your parents won't visit all the time, but close enough that you can get home in an emergency. So say, 2-6 hours away is good. I'm about 3.5 hours from home depending on traffic. The point of this is to be living on your own without your family hovering over your every move, and having to do things on your own. It's a nice dose of freedom. What I Looked For: First in importance was a college that had the program of study I wanted, which at the time was Physics and Secondary Education double major. I kept size in mind as well. I wanted a middle sized college, about 3000-6000ish people. Not so small that *everyone* knew who I was, but not so huge that I'd be completely anonymous. My school I think is about 3500 undergrads, and it's comfortable. I see at least one person I know anywhere I go, there's lots of different types of people, and class sizes aren't usually much over 40. Small class sizes are great if you're serious in your studies. Your teacher will know who you are, and I think you learn more that way since there's more interaction, and you can get personalized attention when you need it. However, this makes slacking off and skipping class harder. Most of my classes take attendance, and drop your grade if you miss too many classes. Phil, however, goes to a large college (over 10,000 people), and if the professors know who he is, they don't generally take attendance. I looked into living arrangements as well. Pretty much every college has the standard double room dorms (two people living in one room, multiple rooms in hallways, communal bathrooms). This is your best choice for your first year. You get stuck with a person for better or for worse, but it's just one person, and the arrangements sort of force you to go meet people. Living in a suite type thing with people you don't know was a bad experience for me. Instead of one obnoxious roomie, I had four. Having my own bathroom and air conditioning wasn't worth that. Food is also important. As far as dining hall's go, my school's isn't too bad. There's only one though. Phil's school, being huge, has several dining halls, and the ones I've been in aren't bad. Some dining halls are notably bad though. Check into the meal plan options. If the dining hall food is bad or you don't have a meal plan that gives you 14+ meals a week, look into where you can cook on campus, cost of groceries, etc. Starving makes studying hard. The type of people at your school is important too, if you're going with a somewhat smaller school. At a huge school it doesn't matter, since there are so many people, there's bound to be a little of everyone. Smaller schools might have more uniform populations though. My sister was at Farleigh Dickinson and didn't like how most of the school was stuck up rich snobs. Also look at the condition of the school. Are the buildings in good repair, furniture intact and clean? Things like that say a lot about the staff and students of a school.

lol It's done until I realize I forgot something. Presently occupying my mind (aside from the content of my recently posted poem) is the crystal clear starry sky and lightning bugs outside. So pretty.....

lol thanks. I'm not sure I want to show it to Phil just yet. I'm considering resuming our relationship, but on a really low-key and slow level, because the whole being on a break thing, as you see, isn't working out so great for me emotionally. It's something I want to talk about with him in person though so I can get a real response from him, but again, with the business and bad moods making that impossible.

It's been awhile; this poem holds a somewhat different sentiment from the others, as I'm sure you can guess. It's called "Frustration," and it's kinda long and ranty. Loved you once, love you still. I ignore your faults against my will. I thought I was free, I guess I'm not, just so you know, that's my heart you've got. It breaks my heart, to see you sad, and I don't want to make you mad. I want to help, you push me out, and my heart will scream and shout. So I say, it's okay, and hope for a better day. But come what may, I'm not okay, I want to fix things today. I'm not as patient as people think, when these things happen my mood will sink. We both may try, but I still cry, and yet I can't give up and die. I guess I'm somehow still in love, and I seek counsel from above. I want to talk and brighten your day, but I'm always pushed away. And I often long for your touch, but you don't seem to care that much. I don't know what to do, I just want to be with you. To see your smiling face, and your features trace, to feel that warm embrace. This used to be “warm and fuzzy,” but now it's just cold and muddy. I don't know if you feel the same way, I've sort of asked but you never say. I wish there was something I could do, to maybe bring back joy anew, but you won't even give me a clue. The things you do, I take them to heart, and wonder if we can ever restart. Though the words may sound hollow, my sentiment I'm sure you'll follow. I love you, I miss you, and how I long to kiss you! I want to have our closeness back, where happiness didn't lack. I want you to feel peace and love, and have wisdom from above. I want to show you so many things, if you would only spread your wings. I don't know what is holding you back, a certain faith you seem to lack? Without you it's hard to cope, yet something in me still has hope. You should know that I am scared, and here you have my feelings bared. On you my joy should not depend, but right now my heart won't mend. I'm sure this isn't without cause, suppose it's one of love's flaws. I guess I can never win, if you never let me in. Troubled with you, depressed without, it seems to me, I've no way out. I do not know just how you feel, or if this will make your head reel. I'm experiencing frustration, desperation, and hoping for a different sensation. Even though you don't seem near, you know full well that I'm still here. So flames in my heart continue to burn, while I await your return.

I think these boards need to support video uploads because Jesse makes spiffy videos.

We miss you too! Have a spectacular time and collect a lot of pictures to show us when you return. Haha, I was just going to say to take pictures.

There *is* a "mark forum as read* button in the individual forum view. It's on the right in parentheses in the same bar as the forum title.

63GB of music alone, and another 10+ of pictures, then 9ish of Sims 2 files back to the old laptop's hard drive from the external hard drive. And some other assorted documents.